I just want to hump that headline and cuddle with it afterward and I never want to cuddle after. I usually just want to drink tap water out of the bathroom faucet and then go and watch Dateline re-runs in the other room, but not with this headline.
HuffPo says that in her new book The Power of Positive Drinking, comedian Cleo Rocos writes about the time in the magical 80s when she, Freddie Mercury and TV star Kenny Everett dragged Princess Diana up as a hot dude to sneak her into a gay club in London. They put her in an army jacket, sunglasses and a black cap, and snuck her into the Vauxhall Tavern in South London. Cleo writes:
“When we walked in … we felt she was obviously Princess Diana and would be discovered at any minute. But people just seemed to blank her. She sort of disappeared. But she loved it. She did look like a beautiful young man. She was always a very fit girl, so they might have thought, ‘There’s a nice young man with pert buttocks.'”
That should be Disney’s next cartoon movie. I really need to see a cartoon movie about a princess who escapes her life by dressing up like a twink bottom to go to gay clubs. Greenlight that shit now, Disney. But seriously, I will never forgive my parents. They should’ve had me decades earlier and moved to London, so that I could’ve gone to Vauxhall Tavern and hit on a dragged up Princess Diana. Because the next best thing to hitting on Prince Hot Ginge at a gay club is hitting on a twinkified Princess Diana at a gay club.