Jeremy Renner Is A Daddy

A couple of months ago, we all found out that Jeremy Renner knocked up his ex-girlfriend Sonni Pacheco and instead of cutting her a check, putting her on a bus and sending her far, far away, he put her up in the mansion he lives in with his roommate. I know, it’s like the most bizarre episode of The New Normal ever. Well, Jeremy and Sonni are now Super Glued to each other for life, because a baby with his DNA and her DNA now exists. Jeremy’s rep tells People that Jeremy did make a baby with Sonni and that baby was born. People puts it like this:

He and girlfriend Sonni Pacheco confirm to PEOPLE that they are the proud parents of a 7 lb. baby girl, Ava Berlin Renner.

“They are beyond thrilled,” his spokesperson tells PEOPLE in a statement. “Mother and daughter are doing great.”

Reports of a baby-on-the-way for the Oscar nominee first hit the web in January following the Golden Globes.

Renner, 42, had not previously addressed the rumors.

I actually like the name Ava Berlin Renner and I always hiss at celebrity baby names. Ava Berlin sounds like the name of a super elegant drag queen who only sings songs from the musical Cabaret and only performs at lounges that use cloth napkins.  Ava Berlin also sounds like the name of lounge singer turned mob wife (Michelle Pfeiffer will play her in the movie).

Anyway, congrats to Ava Berlin, because she gets to look up at Jeremy Renner’s eyeliner-lined bunny eyes and say, “Daddy.”