Lindsay Lohan And Kristen Stewart Are Best Friends 4Evah, Or Something

March 28, 2013 / Posted by:

Page Six is saying that Lindsay Lohan went to a party at Kristen Stewart’s house (read: broke into Kristen Stewart’s house through a guest bedroom window) and bonded with KStew all night (read: went through KStew’s trash and stole a used tampon, burnt weed buds and a grease ball of hair, which she’s going to sell on the down low to Twihards who need a fix).

Page Six’s source says that LiLo and Kristen Stewart know each other through a mutual friend (read: their dealer) and so LiLo was invited to one of KStew’s parties last week. The source said that RPattz was at the party too, but it was LiLo who got all of KStew’s attention and the two messes “discussed their careers, creative ideas and how they deal with living under the focus of the media and the paparazzi.

Yeah, that’s not what they talked about. They both have the communication skills of an extra slow cave baby, so I doubt they even exchanged more than 5 words. They stared at each other, KStew drooled and LiLo grunted before one of them finally shouted, “Want to smoke some meth?!” Then they scissored until the carbon monoxide alarm went off. The end.

But seriously, LiLo needs to stop leaking stories to Page Six. Oh, LiLo, that wasn’t Kristen Stewart’s house. It was a dumpster behind the Seventh Veil strip club on Sunset Blvd. And that wasn’t Kristen Stewart you were bonding with. It was a malnourished alley rat. I know, it’s easy to get the two confused.

Here’s KStew’s best friend (in her head) getting on a flight to Brazil while wearing her latest mug shot ensemble.

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