There’s usually one house in every neighborhood that celebrates Christmas times all year round and is never without lights on it. My house was that house for a while. One year, my uncle, who didn’t live with us, suddenly decided that our house really needed some Christmas lights. He put them up and they never came down. You know my abuelita wasn’t going to pull out a damn ladder and my mom worked all the time, so they stayed up for years. They became a part of the house. The house started to eat them. We never turned them on and they stopped working. I should’ve told people that they weren’t Christmas lights, they were siding studs. Very on trend. I don’t think our neighbors ever gave a shit. Although, one smart ass whore neighbor wished me a Merry Christmas while I was on the driveway choreographing a dance number to a Jody Watley song for my own pleasure. It was July. Anyway, our neighbors didn’t seem to care, but Maria Shriver’s rich ass neighbors do….
TMZ has an EXCLUSIVO video they shot on Tuesday night of Christmas lights twinkling bright in front of Maria Shriver’s Brentwood house. Maria turns on the lights nightly and she’s had them up since December. Maria’s neighbors aren’t dazzled by them and want her to take them down. But instead of knocking on Maria’s door and telling it to her face, they called TMZ. TMZ is the new passive aggressive note.
Maria’s neighbors don’t want to hurt her feelings, so they hope their note through TMZ gets to her and she takes them down. Those neighbors need to pull the platinum stick from out their asses and get over it. Those don’t even look like Christmas lights to me. That looks like some Disney park shit to me. Don’t some rich people always decorate their front yard trees with light-up diamond necklaces? I’m sure Maria will take down her Christmas lights….but only so she can rearrange them into a message for all her neighbors. I’m sure we’ll see the lit-up words “F ALL U TWATS” on Maria’s front yard shrubs real soon. Don’t mess with the Skeletor of the Kennedy family.
Speaking of things that twinkle, here’s Maria’s hairless twink son Patrick Schwarzenegger in Hawaii the other day.