Since you can’t resurrect Michelangelo from the dead to get him to paint a fresco mural on the beige wall in the living room of your condo, you should get the next most artistic thing: a life-size Courtney Stodden wall sticker! I didn’t even know shit like that existed, but it does. E! says that some store called The Blown Up is selling $50 self-adhesive wall stickers of the porn iguana in various states of elegance.
The Blown Up store doesn’t say if these stickers are wipeable, but I’m assuming they are, because they’re going to be all the rage at every frat house glory hole. But you can also use these porn iguana wall stickers for other things too. You can use one as an alarm clock. Just stick it to your bedroom ceiling and when you open your eyes in the morning and stare at it, you’ll jump out of your bed while screaming for Jesus. You can also stick one on your bathroom wall. It’ll inspire you to scrub your skin off with a Chore Boy until you hit the bone. If you put one on your refrigerator, you’ll never eat food again. It’s the perfect diet tool.
Just make sure you coat your wall with a thick layer of liquid antibiotics before you stick one on.
And I’ll pass, but poke at me when a wipeable Prince Hot Ginge wall-sticker comes out.