The Duggars Will Adopt If God Wants Them To

March 26, 2013 / Posted by:

Michelle Duggar’s overworked sweat shop uterus has been hyperventilating into a paper bag ever since she said that she’s trying to have another baby, but now she’s giving it some much-needed relief. The Duggars are expecting one new member this year and Michelle Duggar did say that her uterus is always open to carrying another fetus (“Speak for yourself, heffa” – Michelle Duggar’s uterus), but she recently told People that they’re also considering adoption. The Duggars will do whatever it takes to have a family that’s bigger than the population of Guam.

Michelle says that her brain opened up to the idea of adoption when her family visited an orphanage in Beijing. They are getting on their knees, closing their eyes and asking God about it.

“We are open to the idea of adoption. We are praying about it, and we will see what God has in store. Love for children has been placed on our hearts. The kids are definitely pushing towards wanting us to open our home up to another child or more. They see how much we have been blessed with and how little so many children have and they want to share. We tell our children that would have to be something that is God’s will for our family, and we will see if it is. Our children love children, and we all do.

We are open to whatever is in store. It doesn’t really matter whether I would have another child or we would adopt, but we want to approach it with an open heart. We have friends that have adopted children who are a great influence in our lives, and we have talked about their experiences. So it’s something we’ve considered. We have to know for sure that is what God wants for us to do. When he gives us a child [through pregnancy], there is no doubt in our minds that is what He wants, but when it comes to adoption, we would have to know for sure that was His will.”

If there is a God, God will drop two tubs of spermicide, fifty boxes of diaphragms, 900 birth control pills and a thousand condoms on the Duggars when they ask God what they should do. Or better yet, God should just drop all the OctoKids on them. Actually, I don’t mean that. I’d rather be raised by OctoCrazy than be raised by one of the Duggar daughters. I mean, at least Octo has good drugs and massive amounts of weed.

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