The U.S. is finally getting another dose of its favorite
pastime faptime sport: watching Prince Hot Ginge get dick-out naked for a game of nude ass billiards! The streets of New Jersey, NYC, Connecticut, DC and Colorado Springs will all be covered with a river of genital juices this May, because PHG is coming for a visit.
St. James Palace announced this morning that starting on May 9th, some of you lucky whores will be breathing in the air that PHG’s crotch carrot exhales out. The third in line to the throne and the first in line to my b-hole will start his American tour by making an appearance at the 2013 Warrior Games in Colorado Springs. I’m going to take a Peter Pan Bus to Colorado Springs, cover my body with suction cups and stick myself to PHG. Once his royal guards pry me off, he will then make his way to New Jersey to visit the victims of Hurricane Sandy. PHG will then visit a landline clearance exhibition on Capitol Hill and he’ll show up to a charity event in NYC. PHG will end his American tour at the Sentebale Polo Cup in Greenwich, Conn.
UsWeekly says that this is strictly a business trip and don’t expect him to get his nipples out while drunkenly partying with some hos. PHG’s press secretary said, “Prince Harry wants to highlight once again the extraordinary commitment and sacrifice of our injured servicemen and women.”
PHG is coming on May 9th, which gives us a little over a month to hypnotize his piece Cressida Boners into making the biggest mistake of her life by dumping him. Then PHG will have to honor the solemn oath he drunkenly made to a random stranger in front of a club on the streets of London. He’ll have to go gay. I better call the Warrior Games and ask them how much it’ll cost me for them to tattoo my Grindr username on the forehead of every athlete that PHG’s supposed to meet.