The extremely accurate and beacon of one hundred percent potent truthiness Now Magazine says that Eva Mendes has temporarily put aside her evil plan to take down the Power Rangers and is instead pointing her Orb of Doom at that Gosling-stealing, two-bit hussy whore Rachel McAdams. A source (aka a drunk intern who also runs the We Hate Evil Menses Tumblr on the side) tells Now that ever since Rachel McAdams broke up with Michael Sheen, she’s been wiping her heartbroken tears on the shoulder of her ex-piece Ryan Gosling. Eva, whose right eyebrow always looks like it’s in the “bitch, step back” position, is really raising her eyebrow in the “bitch, step back” position, because she wants Rachel McAdams to step away from her man.
Apparently, Rachel and Ryan stayed friends and talked every now and again when she was with Michael Sheen, but now that she’s single they’ve been talking on the phone even more. The source said, “Rachel’s always kept in touch with Ryan, but now that she’s split with Michael, she’s been calling him and using him as a shoulder to cry on. It hasn’t gone down very well with Eva, to say the least, but Ryan wants to be there as a friend for his ex.”
Well, since the LeAnn Rimes/Eddie Cibrian/Brandi Glanville feud is the bottom shelf version of the Angelina Jolie/Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston feud, we needed a middle shelf version too and here it is. This is something to keep hope alive for those McGosling fans who think The Notebook is real-life and Ryan and Rachel will be sucking rain water off of each other’s faces in the end. Ain’t no love like Canadian love.
This shit probably isn’t true, but it still makes for the perfect triangle. Rachel McAdams is a wholesome-looking white angel with golden hair like a melted halo and Eva looks like an 80s soap opera villainess who can steal your man and half of your company in one day. I mean, she even dresses like Alexis Carrington (see: pictures of her outside of Letterman below). So that is why I will always wear a Team Eva t-shirt from Kitson (do they still sell that shit?).