Xtina Gives Her Red Lip Paint The Night Off

Typing the words “Christina Aguilera actually looks kind of natural in the face” feels unnatural, wrong and it goes against all the laws of clown glamour, but it’s what I have to type, because she kind of does.  It only took five chisels, a sandblaster and a few dozen passes through the $5 car wash at the Shell gas station, but they managed to scrape all thirty five layers of dried Bronzer off of Xtina’s skin for last night’s screening of The Voice 4 in Los Angeles.

Xtina kept her mug on the natural side and pruned her brows so they don’t look like they belong on a box of Count Chocucla, and I know I’m supposed to say she looks better like this, but I can’t. Xtina is just isn’t the same when she doesn’t look like a Hatchet Face impersonator/clown hooker who just worked five shifts in a row. Although, at least her weave still looks like it was put together using ten different kinds of man-made materials.

Here’s some other hos at last night’s screening party. In order: Xtina, Blake Shelton with Miranda Lambert, Justin Bieber’s biological mother, Delta Goodrimgjob, Seal and Benji Madden.