Ryan Gosling Is Pressing Pause On His Acting Career

I wish was following that headline with the line “to focus on a new career in porn,” but I unfortunately for all of us I’m not. The third greatest member of the new Mickey Mouse Club (after Deedee Magno and Chase Hampton) is going to take a break from working, because his ass is rich and he can take a long sabbatical and still expect money to spit out of the ATM when he enters his pin. Millionaire bitches and their breaks! Ryan tells the Associated Press that after he promotes all the movies he’s already made and directs that movie with Christina Hendricks, he’s just going to lie naked on his couch and watch court shows all day.

“I’ve been doing it too much. I’ve lost perspective on what I’m doing. I think it’s good for me to take a break and reassess why I’m doing it and how I’m doing it. And I think this is probably a good way to learn about that. I need a break from myself as much as I imagine the audience does.

The more opportunities I’m given, the more I learn about how easy it is to (expletive) it up. You fight for freedom and then you get it, and then you have enough rope to hang yourself. It’s like trying to exercise some restraint because I do have so much freedom.”

Translation: “I should’ve never made that Gangster Squad piece of shit. It fucked up my swag.”

I’d like to think that Ryan is going to spend his  vacation selling jars of his dick sweat on Etsy or keeping a Tumblr diary of the daily adventures of his abs, but you know he’s going to spend it boning that trick heffa Eva Mendes and feeding apples to his dog (not at the same time…I think).

Here’s Ryan in NYC today walking around and peering into cars like he’s buying the good shit or selling ass.