Thursday, March 21st 2013

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For March 20th!

Unfortunately for the internet (and his owners) Grumpy Crab just didn't have the same appeal as Grumpy Cat. - MeowMeow

Runners-up:

"C'mon Lindsay stop struggling, it's called pool therapy and it's part of your rehab program" - El Bastardo

Red Lobster steps up its 'Surf n Turf' menu now offering Supersized King Crab with a 180lb Diver. - RHONYC

Dear Paris,

Nothing you do will bring you back from the black hole of irrelevancy. Not even "leaking" a new sex tape.

Sincerely,

Humanity - gina latina

via Izismile

Posted by: Michael K
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Edna -E- Mode's picture
Submitted by Edna -E- Mode on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 9:39pm.

Congrats to all the winners! these were so funny

===============
"I (almost) never look back, darling. It distracts from The Now."
= Edna 'E' Mode

caprica 6's picture
Submitted by caprica 6 on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 7:26pm.

These were a riot;lmao, Congrats winners!

kdracofan's picture
Submitted by kdracofan on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:17am.

LOL good ones! congrats Gina!

NovaNightly's picture
Submitted by NovaNightly on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:08am.

Nice job winners!!! So flippin funny! :)

<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!

little_rascal's picture
Submitted by little_rascal on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 9:30am.

Congrats to winners!

*throws bra at El Bastardo*
Gina Latina ♥

+++++++++++++++++++
Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.

snowpiece's picture
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 8:58am.

YAY winners! these were all funneh!

**************************
"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA

Sucky 12/19

OurMissC's picture
Submitted by OurMissC on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 8:55am.

Congrats winning whores!

"...sometimes sucking on the same dick gets real boring." - MK's eloquent cousin

Vern's picture
Submitted by Vern on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 8:48am.

Yay Hookers! (get it?)

*pours butter on El Bits*

*chanting as always*

Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.

Crawford67's picture
Submitted by Crawford67 on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 8:17am.

Eager to jump on the Celebrities + Water bandwagon, the CW unveils "Hot-Tubbing With Paris Hilton."
__________________________

If you ever need someone to drink with, I'll drink with you. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'll drink with you. I guess what I'm trying to say is: I love to drink!!!

--Karen Walker

wtfisgoingon's picture
Submitted by wtfisgoingon on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 6:54am.

Rob Kuntdashian crab finally comes home to roost

Diamond.Goddess.'s picture
Submitted by Diamond.Goddess. on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 3:21am.

OH GAHD!!! Has even Ridley Scott been reduced to funding films via Kickstarter? Damn economy.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Big girls need big diamonds--Elizabeth Taylor

Half.Mexican.Wonder's picture
Submitted by Half.Mexican.Wonder on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 2:09am.

Fairy Godmother : "David, how many times did I warn you to keep Victoria away from water?"

Half.Mexican.Wonder's picture
Submitted by Half.Mexican.Wonder on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 2:07am.

Prince Eric: "It was you I wanted all along, Sebastian."

LavaLamp's picture
Submitted by LavaLamp on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 1:33am.

The newest Octomom sex tape is out, and it's more literal than anyone could ever have imagined.

RandéSleepover's picture
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 12:36am.

Deadliest Snatch

parissucksliterally's picture
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 12:09am.

A musical number in revival of "The Little Mermaid", starring Paris Hilton, desperate for a comeback of sorts:

"Under The Sea, under the sea,
Darling it's better, when you're unfettered, take it from me.."

***********************************************
This speech is my recital, I think it's very vital
To rock (a rhyme), that's right (on time)
It's Tricky is the title, here we go...

Submitted by City Barbie on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 11:00pm.

"When they first started showin up it wasn't too bad. They were pretty tiny and every once in a while might knock my cap off as they'd drop in. But now?? Now the fuckers are capsizing my damn boat!! I'm outta here!" - The Ty-D-Bowl Man quits Wonky's toilet

Submitted by lislop on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 10:58pm.

Angelina Jolie working on some stunt work for her next film.

Submitted by lislop on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 10:58pm.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie acting out the bathtub scene in "Pretty Woman".

Submitted by City Barbie on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 10:41pm.

You think you so smart standin up on that seat
But the crabs in this bitch can jump 50 feet!

Eileenie McMeanie's picture
Submitted by Eileenie McMeanie on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 10:32pm.

Very rare out take pic of Richard Gere and Julia Roberts in the bathtub scene in "Pretty Woman"

Submitted by GlitterKitty on Sat, 07/23/2011 -
Is playing a cunt on the internet as satisfying as wanking into your mum's nightie? Because something tells me you'd know all about that.

Homeless J's picture
Submitted by Homeless J on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 10:20pm.

SeaWorld is now genetically breeding crabs with Michele Obama arms!

Submitted by I am Legend on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 10:19pm.

Next on Maury: Ariel finds husband Prince Eric and best friend Sebastian embracing in the hot tub. She suspects an affair but Eric says she's paranoid and they were just practicing their synchronized swimming. Will he pass the lie detector test?

"Pull my Antennae! Pull my Antennae!"

PrettyHateMachine's picture
Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 8:56pm.

A Night In Paris

caffeinecrazed's picture
Submitted by caffeinecrazed on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 8:54pm.

Lindsay Lohan holds the Guinness World Record for having the World's largest crab.

Submitted by dano on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 8:40pm.

Filming has begun on the new season of Jersey Shore, Alaska.

juiceinla's picture
Submitted by juiceinla on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 8:22pm.

Kartrasian eats so much in this pregnancy, even her crabs are getting humongous.

-LA Juice, because "OJ" was taken.

MISSterious's picture
Submitted by MISSterious on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 8:08pm.

And this is what it was like for the poor soul who had to clean the jacuzzi after every episode of The Jersey Shore.

* * * * I HEART CAVEMEN & DEXTER & DAMON * * * *

Toonkinstein's picture
Submitted by Toonkinstein on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 8:07pm.

M.K...The free clinic called...you tested positive for crabs!

ghost of gene rayburn's picture
Submitted by ghost of gene r... on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 7:57pm.

And since I'm off my game and can't think of anything but "crabs" jokes, I'll just ask HOLY SHIT WHAT GOD'S NAME IS THAT THING???

ghost of gene rayburn's picture
Submitted by ghost of gene r... on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 7:55pm.

Just as everyone feared, weapons-grade crab lice was the result of the Lindsay Lohan/Charlie Sheen hot tub hookup.

Aunt B's picture
Submitted by Aunt B on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 7:41pm.

Soon after Katy Perry stopped knocking John Mayer's crabs loose, they went completely out of control.

ElvirasChesticles's picture
Submitted by ElvirasChesticles on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 6:53pm.

Alien versus sexual predator.

H321's picture
Submitted by H321 on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 7:36pm.

As per her rider request, Beyonce's wig lice gets a full-body massage after every show too.

LaChaylo's picture
Submitted by LaChaylo on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 6:04pm.

It takes a true professional to clean the mites off of Khloe.

LaChaylo's picture
Submitted by LaChaylo on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 6:03pm.

Scientists are trying to find a way to harvest Wonky's crabs to solve global hunger.

Emeriesan's picture
Submitted by Emeriesan on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 6:01pm.

Leann Rimes's assistant takes her legs out for a relaxing spa day.

ProfessorVP's picture
Submitted by ProfessorVP on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 6:01pm.

Soup of the Day: Calista Flockhart.

uncle wally's picture
Submitted by uncle wally on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 5:58pm.

The Paris Hilton Hot Tub: Not for amateurs.

ImpertinentVixen's picture
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 5:52pm.

At Red Lobster this month the crab is free but you have to wrangle it yourself.

Homeless J's picture
Submitted by Homeless J on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 5:48pm.

Crustaciality?
Guess it would smell the same!

Submitted by nakedCoton on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 5:45pm.

It is not as easy as you think to submerge one of Kim Kardashian's crabs in Chlorox.

crankenstein's picture
Submitted by crankenstein on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 5:41pm.

de lousing lindsey lohan for rehab proved to be much grosser than expected

crankenstein's picture
Submitted by crankenstein on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 5:41pm.

Keira Knightly has REALLY got to stop losing weight

Vern's picture
Submitted by Vern on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 5:37pm.

Looks like Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrust are bonding again.

*chanting as always*

Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.

Vern's picture
Submitted by Vern on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 5:36pm.

*Say something nice*

Well, the Paris Hilton "real doll" appears to be waterproof.

*chanting as always*

Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.

veryoldbat's picture
Submitted by veryoldbat on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 5:37pm.

Alex? THe things you catch on toilet seats for $200.00.

Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR

WildGuy's picture
Submitted by WildGuy on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 5:35pm.

The real reason Jason and Britney are no longer together. Britney's cootch escaped and is living comfortably at Marine World

Tyroan's picture
Submitted by Tyroan on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 5:34pm.

HELP WANTED:
Experienced crab wrangler needed to curate Paris Hilton's "overnight guest" gift bags.

Vern's picture
Submitted by Vern on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 5:34pm.

After viewing this leaked pron tape, I have to agree that Michelle Williams is right to leave Jason Seigal.

*chanting as always*

Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.

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