While gold digger champion Elin Nordegren works on getting her next 9-figure divorce settlement, her ex-husband Tiger Woods is humping on gold medal-winning champion skier Lindsey Vonn. After bumping nipples for a few weeks, Tiger announced on his Facebook page today that he is dating Lindsey Vonn, who sort of looks like Sharon Stone’s homely younger sister, and he posted a bunch of awkward pictures of them being awkward together. I’ve seen Olan Mills portrait sessions that look more natural than this shit and I looked less awkward on first grade picture day (and I had the serious runs on that day)! Tiger Woods also wrote this message:
This season has been great so far and I’m happy with my wins at Torrey and Doral. Something nice that’s happened off the course was meeting Lindsey Vonn. Lindsey and I have been friends for some time, but over the last few months we have become very close and are now dating. We thank you for your support and for respecting our privacy. We want to continue our relationship, privately, as an ordinary couple and continue to compete as athletes.
Yes, please respect the privacy of a private couple who announces they’re dating on Facebook by posting a staged photo shoot that both of their publicists had to approve. But it was nice of Tiger to share these pictures with everyone. I mean, the tabloids are going to need a picture to put on their covers when they break up after Lindsey catches his wandering dick in a Waffle House waitresses’ snatch and chases him out of their home with a golf club.