Lindsay Lohan Is Having Final Destination Premonitions Now (UPDATE)
This is what happens when Lindsay Lohan's day in court is scheduled for the day after International Drunk Day (aka St. Patrick's Day). LiLo's latest date with the California Justice System is this morning and she was supposed to fly out from NYC to LA on Saturday, giving her a full day to get court-ready glamorous. But since LiLo is a professional fuck up and can't stop fucking up, she skipped her flight on Saturday to see a band instead. TMZ says that LiLo made it to the airport on Sunday night for a 6pm flight and her ass actually got on the plane, but right before takeoff, she jumped off the plane. Apparently, LiLo thought the plane was leaking gas. Dealers should really put a "Warning: May Cause Extreme Paranoid" label all on their 8-balls, because coke paranoia is a real thing.
TMZ says that the plane was delayed over an hour due to an issue with the gas tank or something, so LiLo got scared, thought it was going to crash and got off of it. Bitch probably thought she saw a colonial woman on the wing, churning butter. She was churning butter! Or LiLo probably thought she saw a gremlin pulling parts out of the airplane wing. Bitch, that wasn't a sabotaging gremlin. It was just your reflection in the mirror.
LiLo claims that she wasn't the only one who got a final destination vibe from the flight. She says that 35 other people also got off, because they felt the flight was not safe. The plane did up end stopping in Las Vegas to refuel before landing in L.A. after 11pm.
LiLo spent most of her night in the airport lounge trying to get one of her johns to lend him a private plane. At around 2 or 3 in the morning New York time, she finally got a ride on a private jet from the dude who owns Mr. Pink Energy Drink.
Mr. Pink's private plane was supposed to land around 7am PST time and she's supposed to be in court by 8:30 this morning. That gives LiLo less than 90 minutes to make it to court. We all know what's going to happen. LiLo's going to show up late and cry about how her car got a flat tire, got carjacked by gang members and after hitchhiking for an hour, she finally got a trucker to pick her up. But those gremlins who sabotaged her plane must've also sabotaged the traffic lights in L.A., because they hit every red light! The judge will shrug, tell her to do better next time, validate her parking and then send her on her way. Nothing is going to happen to this mess.
UPDATE: Aaaaaand she's going to be late. TMZ says that Mr. Pink's jet isn't scheduled to land until 8:11am, which gives LiLo less than 20 minutes to get to court on time. It's not going to happen, so ho better start pulling those excuses out of her asshole right about now.
• 
Flying with a private jet is not as expensive as people thought, as long as they know how to arrange their budget. Private jet charters is not for up-level anymore since the need of the industry is growing up from time to time.
private aircraft charter Toronto
Exactly what was the point of all this if the 90 days was what was originally on the table????
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
"Bitch, that wasn't a sabotaging gremlin. It was just your reflection in the mirror."
BAHAHAHAHA!
DAAAYYYUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMM! Over 400 comments!?!
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Can I get my tattoo now?
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Damn lil Wayne share that cough syrup w/codeine with the court room!
-----------------------------
I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!
oooh, he looks like Thomas Jefferson with that ponytail!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
God don't like ugly.
this is so exciting!!!!
ok, not really.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
God don't like ugly.
jumping to the new Lohan thread...see you there.
Coma Caca!
----------------------------------
bitch is taking plea deal
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by perky on Mon, 03/18/2013 - 1:11pm.
Ooh I just heard a tapping. I thought it might be a gavel, but it was probably just Linsday cutting up lines on the desk.
Bwhahahaha, you guys are hilarious.
Ooh I just heard a tapping. I thought it might be a gavel, but it was probably just Linsday cutting up lines on the desk.
I can hear WO! I just heard her ask someone if they could lend her a fiver! I'm sure of it.
(tee hee)
************
OKAY, WOW, YA'LL JUST WOW. I COME IN AND HERE TO THESE LOWER CHATS AND JEALOUS MOMS MAKING WITCH EYES AND BRITTNEY DID SMELL KEVIN'S BALLS AND MAKE THE TOILET FLASH~the inimitable Hoffalina. We'll miss you Girl. ♥
I think I just heard hoarse laughter coming from Lindsay.
-----------------
"Bye, Whore" -MK
MK posted a new story, time to jump threads
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish I had multiple Alts, that way I won't be so lonely when I'm talking to myself
That damn coughing bastard should have stayed home if he is sick, he keeps interrupting my Crackie deciphering.
I don't believe she took the plea. She's refused thus far. And if she does there is NO WAY in hell she'll complete 90 days in rehab.
Latest from TMZ:
"// 11:04 AM PT -- It appears Lindsay has struck a plea deal with
prosecutors, which is shocking because up until now ... Lindsay has
REFUSED to accept any punishment.Our clue ... Mark Heller's co-
counsel just grabbed a "plea form" from a desk and took it into
chambers with him"
FUCK!!!!!
********************.
"...I'm a greedy, money grubbing
whore and a check is a check, so I'd strap a snorkel on the ol' noggin and muff dive like there was diamonds up in there..."
By: Tigerlilly
just heard some guy say "did you see her eyes"
Coma Caca!
----------------------------------
"her DUI has already been resolved"
"i got a call from someone cell phone who would pay X dollars to...*mumble* "I personally dont think i could paid it because..*mumble* hey you guys ever appeal that alimony cause? "which it nearly busted me up"
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Justice is constipated.
11:04 AM PT -- It appears Lindsay has struck a plea deal with prosecutors, which is shocking because up until now ... Lindsay has REFUSED to accept any punishment.
BOOO!
bunch of Lohan whisperers up in here
**************************
"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
My wild guess is nothing is going to happen to Lohan, just like nothing has ever happened to Lohan.
Prove me wrong, world!!!
"dont push it" some woman just said that.
cough cough cough & mumble
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Looks like she's taken a plea deal.
I didn't realize so many mule deer followed Dlisted. I just hear *whon whon whon*.
My wild guess is they're in chambers with the judge and court reporter, either fighting over pre-trial motions or trying to strike a deal. Am I off?
your suppose to swallow THEN cough
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
I think that was Daddy Lohan who made the "act" comment.
________________________________________________
"Buy a vibrator bitch, drink wine and stay home." - Craigypants 1/22/2013
I keep hearing whispers with "She" GODAMNIT! SHUT UP COUGHERS!
I heard someone say "Dang, my ass is numb y'all"
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMOgSdc8OAI
I hear nothing.....just whispers...
***********************************************
How am I going to keep myself away from me?
I just heard someone say "I'll swallow but only if you finger me with some coke under your nails"
-------------------------------------------------
Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
cough cough tap tap bruruburuurururururur
Coma Caca!
----------------------------------
"I wish she knew how to act"
I just heard that. Now in what regards? Her career or in court?
someone just said "i wish i knew how to handle this".
must be talking about STD he got from blohan.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
LOL I AM OLD AND I LISTEN TO MY IPOD TOO LOUD, I CAn'T HEAR SHIT!!!!
**************************
"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
snoop dog showed up wearing yellow tshirt & he dropped papers in judges "IN" basket
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
I just heard her say she can't swallow that much.
The judge can't be in the courtroom there's too much idle chatter.
************
OKAY, WOW, YA'LL JUST WOW. I COME IN AND HERE TO THESE LOWER CHATS AND JEALOUS MOMS MAKING WITCH EYES AND BRITTNEY DID SMELL KEVIN'S BALLS AND MAKE THE TOILET FLASH~the inimitable Hoffalina. We'll miss you Girl. ♥
M.E. - thank you!!
************
OKAY, WOW, YA'LL JUST WOW. I COME IN AND HERE TO THESE LOWER CHATS AND JEALOUS MOMS MAKING WITCH EYES AND BRITTNEY DID SMELL KEVIN'S BALLS AND MAKE THE TOILET FLASH~the inimitable Hoffalina. We'll miss you Girl. ♥
Her raspy voice is easy to pick out. Her lawyer is much better at being quiet. That's how I know it's not Heller.
________________________________________________
"Buy a vibrator bitch, drink wine and stay home." - Craigypants 1/22/2013
mamma june showed up wearing pink.
now 2 brothers are talking & laughing in background.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
418 comments in a Lohan thread, considering we get like 3 of those a day? Did she die?
LOL@ her dad scoring time with the judge.
-----------------
"Bye, Whore" -MK
All rise for Judge Percy Swagglemonger III.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMOgSdc8OAI
Submitted by ewe on Mon, 03/18/2013 - 12:54pm.
What the hell kind of bionic hearing do you guys have? All I hear is breathing, coughs and papers being shuffled
*******
*flinging myself on the floor in a tantrum*
I can't even hear THAT!
************
OKAY, WOW, YA'LL JUST WOW. I COME IN AND HERE TO THESE LOWER CHATS AND JEALOUS MOMS MAKING WITCH EYES AND BRITTNEY DID SMELL KEVIN'S BALLS AND MAKE THE TOILET FLASH~the inimitable Hoffalina. We'll miss you Girl. ♥
I just heard "probation" that better be after rehab! This bitch...
________________________________________________
"Buy a vibrator bitch, drink wine and stay home." - Craigypants 1/22/2013
thanks ME!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
I heard "that sucks" too Perky!
Coma Caca!
----------------------------------
Submitted by Few Words on Mon, 03/18/2013 - 12:52pm.
HA HA just heard her dad is w/ her & judge.
probably trying to get the stoopid bitch to take rehab
-----------------------------------------
Yeah, but mostly trying to get himself some attention.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson