Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

March 18, 2013 / Posted by:

People are sad over this attractive couple’s split. Let’s clarify a few things about their relationship.

First of all, they were never a real couple. However, they really were friends with one another.

Secondly, the arrangement worked so well over time, that they actually thought about making it more permanent.

Thirdly, they broke up very suddenly, but it was not because of a conflict between the man and the woman. The real conflict was between the man and the woman’s brother. That’s right! The guy didn’t really break up with her. He was actually breaking up with her brother! She was just a casualty of the fallout.

Why did they break up? One guy heard that the other betrayed him (we don’t know if it was true or not). The breakup followed very quickly after that. It was very sudden and very ugly.

Finally, all three in this relationship are adults and are professionals in the industry, so we think that there is a zero out of ten chance that any details of their relationship or their breakup will ever be made public. (Blind Gossip)

Ryan Seacrest, Derek Hough and Julianne Hough? My guess is that Derek betrayed Ryan by using all of his Sheer Blonde shampoo without replacing it. Poor Julianne. So close to having a long-term beard contract and her brother had to ruin it all!

It was not that long ago that this almost A list mostly television actor was still trying to make it look like he dated women. He liked the impression that he was a ladies man and he got that impression by dating woman after woman. He dated so many women because there was never any third date love if you get my drift. He would just date them until he could not hide it anymore and then move on. Meanwhile, women all over the world would follow each of these changes and hope they would be next. He finally has settled down. Of course the person he settled down with has never actually even pretended to date a guy and everyone was fairly certain she would just come out. She is a B list actress. Mostly movies. I think I am being generous in giving her a B. She might be closer to a C. The couple claims they fell in love and can’t be separated from each other. Well, she has a girlfriend so there must be some separation sometime. He is not currently seeing any guys and is extremely hesitant to ever do so except when he is out of the country and in very controlled circumstances. I’m not sure why they decided to go this route. It is confusing, especially on her part because she was so close to coming out. Publicity? That could be. Her old girlfriend knew a lot about publicity. (CDAN)

The Daily Mail has a post today about how Alexander Skarsgard carried his “girlfriendEllen Page’s luggage through LAX over the weekend. So I guess this blind item could be about them. I don’t think ASkars and Ellen Page are dating, but if they are, then who ever put them together needs to have their beard matching certificate revoked. That shit isn’t even close to being believable. Richard Simmons and Michelle Shocked would be a more believable couple. And as much as my b-hole wants it to be true, I’m pretty sure ASkars only loves peen in my wet dreams.

This A list mostly television actor has a movie coming out. Well, it was coming out, but there needs to be some reshoots and our actor refuses to do it and has said that he won’t do any press for the movie either because he feels like everyone on the crew disrespected him. Well, if he was not such a crap actor they would not have laughed at him everytime he tried to a scene. (CDAN)

Ashton Kutcher. Exhibit: A through Z

This A list celebrity/rapper/mogul and sometime reality star is not a huge drinker. At clubs he will drink and he orders a ton of booze, but he is not like Jay-Z who will actually get hammered. There are times though that our celebrity does. If you are a 18-22 year old gay male interested in older men and lots of presents, this is your chance. Our celebrity uses his drinking as an excuse to take a night off from being a ladies man. He heads to a club and finds some willing guys and then for the rest of the night they drive around in a party bus while our celebrity enjoys getting wild with the guys with no one to see and is passing out money and presents and booze and seemingly at his happiest. When the party is over he drops them back off at the club and then pretends it all never happened. Just blames it on the booze. (CDAN)

Diddy?

This A list mostly movie actor and Academy Award winner/nominee has a new male lover. As his custom though, the actor refuses to ever admit that he is gay and instead, this weekend ate several times by himself at places while not even allowing his new lover to order room service. Instead, the actor would bring him back coffee and wraps from Starbucks. Our actor is apparently one of the cruelest guys around when it comes to his partners. Violently so. (CDAN)

Violently so? What in Matt and Dan from Melrose Place HELL?!

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