QOTD: Less Women Are Threatened By Goop Now That She's 40
While Apple and Moses Martin are eating the stuck cheese off of the McDonald's wrappers they smuggled into their bedrooms because they are HONGRAY, Goopy Paltrow is downstairs sharing a crystal goblet full of calorie-free organic air with a bunch of women who were too threatened by her to be her friend 14 years ago. Goopy tells Self Magazine (more like Self-Involved Magazine if Fishsticks is on the cover) that after Harvey Weinstein pretty much bought her an Oscar for Shakespeare in Love, women were too jealous of her power to be her friend. But now that she's more seasoned and has been through a lot (I'll wait here as you go and pick up the eyeball that rolled out onto the floor), women like Beyonce and Cameron Diaz want to be her friend. The Anne Hathaway of her time shat out this dingle of ridiculousness.
"I feel a sisterhood emerging around me. I’m less threatening now that I’m 40 and not 26-with-an-Oscar. They know I’ve been through a lot of pain and suffering – some public, some private – and I keep going. Or maybe it’s just that I was the first one who could afford therapy!"
Goopy really has been through a lot of pain and suffering! One time at a restaurant, she ordered a caviar-encrusted piece of raw bluefin tuna on a bed of cloud puree and the waiter brought her a caviar-encrusted piece of seared bluefin tuna instead. THE PAIN! Another time, she was watching a TV documentary on Ethiopia to get diet tips when a commercial for Pillsbury Crescent Rolls came on. THE SUFFERING! Goopy can't even look at processed carbs, that's how allergic to gluten she is. And let's not even get into the time she had to rip her wood-burning pizza oven out because her weekday nanny put a DiGiorno in there. She has been through a lot!
And Goopy only has friends like Beyonce and Cameron Diaz now, because all the insufferable and pretentious crap that comes out of her mouth makes them feel humble and sane by comparison.
via The Daily Mail
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Mimilicious
Hey Meh, My dad had MS. At 8yrs old I walked in the door after school and found him lying in a puddle of blood after falling into the corner of those big floor tv's everyone used to have and splitting his head open...he died a few days later. I was young, Gwyneth was almost 30...not young at all. And still, I've never declared my greatness to my underlings
Sweet jesus what a self indulgent narcissist twat.
I canNOT stand her ... never seen such a pompous, conceited (for what?), condescending, LOSER in my life. Really? What an complete and total JERK.
I'm only threatened by her cuz I'm scared she will bore me to death.
cuz she would babble on about shit and i just cant take it anymore and i just run off a cliff.
I'm no Goopist, but I try to be objective. She might not have deserved her Oscar--film history is full of winners who may not have deserved theirs--but she was damn good in Shakespeare. She also was good in Sliding Doors, Emma, and that one where she cheats on Michael Douglas. Then, as MK reminded us, there's Shallow Hal and other dreck.
Submitted by Hotmami on Sun, 03/17/2013 - 9:58am.
Submitted by Mayo on Sat, 03/16/2013 -9:25pm.
I can't bear to see her while i'm drunk, it's just too much! I have to go find another bottle of wine, i don't care how much calories it is in it, it makes me happyyyy.
Um, pardon me, but haven't you mentioned in the KK threads that you are pregnant? I really hope that comment was an attempt to be funny.
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God no! I'm not pregnant, and I don't even go to the KK threads, I hate that bitch.
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"If I can't be my own, i'd feel better dead"- Nutshell
She really is an insufferable cunt isn't she!!
go the fuck away you up-your-own-arse saddo. really cant stand this woman.as Bird said...go fuck your Oscar, cause clearly no one else wants to.
Good Queen, I believe that she was one of those "daddy's girls" that got so puffed up by dad telling them they were smarter, more beautiful, ect. that they do think we (us peasants) are intimidated by her. And she believes it because daddy wouldnt lie.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Serious question. Is this woman,average in the extreme, who would be fuck all without nepotism-mentally ill? That or being retarded is the only explanation that makes any sense for her 'look at me, I'm a cunt you see' witterings.
I feel sorry for any woman who feels threatened by damn Gwyneth Paltrow of all people.
-.-
The internet, where the men are real men,
the women are real men, and the children are the FBI.
Things that can be numbered or counted, such as 15, use the word "fewer"; amounts that cannot be numbered such as air or water use the word "less". Certain high school grammar rules are deeply and disturbingly ingrained in me.
And this cover deserves a Photoshop award.
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Thunder only happens when it's rainin
Players only love you when they're playin
Thank you. Been wondering that & feel better. Except now supermarkets will be painful with the '10 items or less' queue.
I always forget: Is it "15 women or less" or "15 women or fewer"?
one of her weekday nannies, you mean.
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Posh Beckham is one of the Seven Signs of the Apocalypse.
She looks very Cameron Diaz-esque here, in my opinion.
Maybe it's Goopys way of saying she no longer feels as attractive or as "threatening" as she used to. I like her so it's easy to excuse a lot of what she says, but wow I almost feels like she's losing it. Where does she come up with this crap?
Submitted by saltydog on Sat, 03/16/2013 - 5:42pm.
I've always thought Gwyneth Paltrow was the specific type of pretty where it's not that she looks that great, but she does make most people look worse by comparison.
The Talented Mr. Ripley always really highlights that to me because in my mind Cate Blanchett is GORGEOUS, ethereal, elegant...but when she stands next to Gwyneth (who on her own I find a little bland) she looks odd with a weird smile and bulbous nose.
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That's a really great example. I think both Cate and Gwyneth are pretty, but not sexy. Gwyneth when younger had a certain coolness about her, but Cate has always seemed kind of boring and bland. I would never think of Cate as gorgeous, though. The Goop in TTMR looked very young, pretty and high society.
Submitted by Mayo on Sat, 03/16/2013 -9:25pm.
I can't bear to see her while i'm drunk, it's just too much! I have to go find another bottle of wine, i don't care how much calories it is in it, it makes me happyyyy.
Um, pardon me, but haven't you mentioned in the KK threads that you are pregnant? I really hope that comment was an attempt to be funny.
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Every saint has a past and
Every sinner has a future
Insufferable thy name is Gwyneth. Now that she's over the hill, the ice queen declares she's no longer "threatening". Bitch please, being a threat is NOT your problem. Being an egotistical know-it-all still appears to be .... the toxic substance Poop needs to eliminate in cleanse, which has not been effective.
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
Fish Sticks, please. . . Shut your gluten-free pie hole and disappear!
what a self-absorbed, self-deluded skank!
she needs to take her "European sensibility" and shove it up her photoshopped ass! (which I'm sure she spells 'arse')
middle aged women who try to dress like they're still 'coeds' are beyond pathetic
... and what sort of twat must her husband be to tolerate her crap?!?
her house of cards will inevitably tumble and I'll laugh, laugh, laugh!
shame on you, Blythe Danner, for doing whatever it is you did that resulted in this repulsive creature
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Aniston is artistically, intellectually and reproductively barren.
Paltrow is a walking argument against nepotism.
Never found her purdy, tbh. She s just one of those girls that have skinny In their genes and make it sound like they have to work towards it.
All I can think about when she mentions the word Oscar is this
http://addictedtojane.buzznet.com/photos/wouldyouever25oscars/?id=605604...
Tracy Anderson is such a piece of shit HURR DUUR WOMEN SHOULD NEVER LIFT MORE THAN 3 POUNDS god fuck off
http://www.oprah.com/health/Gwyneth-Paltrows-Workout-Routine
look at gywnnie almost dying lifting those 3 pounds :(
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1367879/Gwyneth-Paltrows-perso...
also yeah i know it's the daily mail but it's worth a read- jesus christ you're not supposed to be eating like 700 calories and working out 3 hours a day
PS that dress is for a 25 year old
jesus fucking balls, bitch, you were NEVER threatening. Not to me at least. I always knew you were a hack. and then married a gay hack. and then became a Martha Stewart hack.
She can go fuck her Oscar
goopy's quotes GIVE ME LIFE!!!
WHAAAA!? THAT's Goopy on that cover!? Holy Photoshop Batman!
For some reason I don't hate her, maybe because I like to cook myself and love experimenting with healthy food but I love my shit food ,know what Im sayin'. I wish I had 1/10th of this bitches money tho
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Don't start none and the'll be none.
Are they trying to morph her into Camron Diaz or that gnome Tracy Anderson?
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by angry_secretary on Sat, 03/16/2013 - 11:13pm.
Hot, voluptuous groupies who let him lick ranch dressing off their naked bodies.
Submitted by kate773 on Sat, 03/16/2013 - 9:38pm.
Yeah, she's actually kind of sad. And I think eventually she's going to have a complete nervous breakdown, because she seems to be plating over everything with her pretentious crap.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sat, 03/16/2013 - 7:41pm.
Submitted by chinchilla on Sat, 03/16/2013 - 5:33pm.
MTE. There was a Blind years ago that I never forgot: thinly veiled, suggesting he sneaks off regularly to get himself fast food, and can't wait to go on tour so that he can pig out on whatever he wants.
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what Chris is most looking forward to eating out on tour is hot, voluptuous groupies
FUcking hell...this fucking...I cant with her. Just. Cant. She was tolerable in Running with Scissors, thats it. The mag pic does not look like her book cover. I dont even know how the fuck Im typing all this anyway because both of my eyes rolled fast and hard directly the fuck out of my head.
I hear you, kate773, especially "people have (miscarriages) all the time, doesn't make it any less awful". I can empathize with you and your pity rather than hatred is commendable. My problem is that the Goop is just like a sister-in-law of mine. I actually find the woman offensive! It's my own issues, plus that her father adored her to an unhealthy extent. Whereas many people assume a braggart or a bully must have low self-esteem themselves, some people actually DO think they're all that. To me, Goop and my SIL are two of those people. MHO is that Bruce Paltrow blew up Goopy's head something fierce and ever since his death, she's had to overcompensate for losing her #1 cheerleader and fan.
Less women are threatened by her because she is irrelevant.
How do you take seriously the self praise of a grown-ass woman because she can roast a chicken and raise two kids with an army of help?
Ho boy, I hope she has the brains to regret this quote.
She is beyond a joke!
Submitted by MinxInSpace on Sat, 03/16/2013 - 9:33pm.
And seriously, the people acting like her dad dying of cancer justifies this kind of comment or her attitude need a reality check. Who the hell hasn't gone through something terrible? If you're a better person for it, you just ARE. You don't go around bragging about how it brings you more friends or some equally superficial crap. She's an elitist cunt.
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Whoa, I'm not saying it justifies anything. It just seems like there are some who scoff at the "I've had bad things happen to me" comment because they don't think anything bad has happened to her, or they don't think it's bad ENOUGH. I'm not saying that that's your point, it's just a feeling I've gotten reading some of these comments.
FTR - I don't find her half as phony as Hathaway. I can see the wheels in AH's head spinning when she talks, just trying to think of something cerebral to say. G at least is honest in her pretension.
Submitted by Dog on Sat, 03/16/2013 - 4:28pm.
Dog, why do you change of avatar EVERY FUCKING DAY! It's SO annoying, well YOU'RE annoying so that doesn't surprise me, but that IS annoying...
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"If I can't be my own, i'd feel better dead"- Nutshell
Beyonce is not truly her friend. She knows where those fishsticks lips have been - and it ain't pretty.
There is a whole lotta photoshop up in that Self cover and she still looks male.
As a 40 year old struggling with self-esteem issues, I'm not going to lie. I wouldn't mind looking like her. I just couldn't live with so many restrictions. In her defense, her father died while on vacation with her in Italy, she was all by herself and had to deal with everything until her mother arrived. That must have been horrible. And to have a miscarriage is pretty tough too. Yes, people have them all the time, doesn't make it any less awful. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
In a weird way I feel bad for her. I don't feel hatred, just pity that she really has no clue about how 99% of the world lives. Her perspective is so fucked up. But anyone born into what she was born into would be that way. I don't know. I just can't muster the anger. Meh.
Ugh..this bitch again. She needs to get a better publicist or something because she is her own worst enemy when it comes to PR.
And seriously, the people acting like her dad dying of cancer justifies this kind of comment or her attitude need a reality check. Who the hell hasn't gone through something terrible? If you're a better person for it, you just ARE. You don't go around bragging about how it brings you more friends or some equally superficial crap. She's an elitist cunt.
I can't bear to see her while i'm drunk, it's just too much! I have to go find another bottle of wine, i don't care how much calories it is in it, it makes me happyyyy.
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"If I can't be my own, i'd feel better dead"- Nutshell
I used to like Goopy (please don't judge). I don't know why- she kind of seemed ok, and at the very (very) least, not an airhead bimbo.
Lately, all she DOES is give interviews about her life, how great she is and is doing, and she comes across as very pretentious and self-righteous.
I know I'm late to the game, but I can't stand her now...
If I were Beyonce or Cameron and I read this quote, I would be pissed. It seems to imply that they would have been too intimidated by Gwyneth's "stunning beauty" and Oscar win to have been her friend before. Now that the public has gotten to know " the real her" and how "down to earth she is," celebrities are no longer intimidated, and they can all be friends.
Ok. You tried it Gwenyth. Oh, and generally when people have to TELL you how modest and humble they are, they are pretentious, snobby, nauseating tricks. I proudly present Exhibit A.
Submitted by chinchilla on Sat, 03/16/2013 - 5:33pm.
Chris Martin probly has a hot BBW on the side after laying w/this frigid stick, all angles and bones like Calpurnia. yup, a cushiony goddess who doesn't leave him with bruised hipbones.
This 1000%. I also think the same thing about David Beckham and Brad Pitt.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
This x100
You just know they have women on the side with big old dd's (real of course), huge asses and fleshy thighs. They eat ice cream out of the carton together and don't leave the bed for DAYS!!!! Guuuuurrrrlllll!
It's been rumored for years that Fishy & CM's marriage is over in all but name only. He is said to have been involved with a female sound engineer and that the real reason they bought the London house next door is because he lives there. Could very well all be true.
FWIW I hope it is if only because it will be hilarious when her perfect facade comes crashing down.
This narcissistic twat really works my nerves. I want to punch her right in her smug face. Of course then I realize I've never met a narcissist who was even marginally happy and will settle for just pinching her. I also firmly believe she has disordered eating and forces her odd food beliefs on her children which takes me back to wanting to punch her in the face. It's a vicious cycle.
Her dad did died of cancer when she was really young, didnt get to meet her kids of see her marry...
Born on third base and swears to gluten free God she hit a triple...