Nothing make you forget the week of woe you’ve had like getting a new look, so Justin Bieber sprinkled a few Chia pet seeds above his lip and is trying grow a stache. Instead of laughing we should all be impressed that a fetus can actually grow a thin layer of peach fuzz above his lip. Yes, he looks like a 14-year-old girl after getting her stache bleached and I’ve seen more hair on an actual peach, but the toddler Vanilla Ice has still achieved the impossible. So butch, so manly.
And I should be proud of myself for achieving the impossible: I made it through that post without making one Dirty Sanchez joke.