Taylor Swift is sliding her beard services business card under Ryan Seacrest’s front door and Tommy Girl is scheduling an “audition” with Julianne Hough right now, because Ryan and Julianne are done after dating for over 2 years. People says that Ryan never had time for Julianne because he’s the hardest working gnome on the stroll…and because she got sick of him calling her Derek whenever they bumped butts. This is actually pretty shocking, because you’d think that a relationship between a Mormon and a gay frog would last forever!
Some other source tells UsWeekly that since Ryan has 400 jobs, he’s constantly working and never had time for Julianne. So Julianne packed up her strap-ons and got out of there, because even a leased beard needs to be groomed and fluffed every now and again. That source said this:
“Dude works all the time,” a pal tells Us Weekly. “He never sleeps.” Although dancer-turned-actress Hough, 24, has an increasingly hectic slate of projects herself, her priorities were a little different. It’s a lifestyle she couldn’t handle anymore. Work always, always came first [for Ryan] She wants a more lowkey life.”
It all makes sense now! TMZ had a story a couple of days about how Julianne Hough went to visit a friend in Hollywood and left her Mercedes in the parking lot. When she went back to her car, the door was open and $100,000 worth of jewelry was missing. Ho left a bunch of jooree that Ryan Seacrest gave her in her car. I knew something in the milk wasn’t clean about that. Just in case Ryan ever asked for those jewels back, she pawned them all off and covered it up by saying she was robbed. Clever beard.
And here’s Ryan and Julianne in St. Barts last year during happier and carefree times when they weren’t even thinking about contract renegotiations.