Shia LaBeouf Got Shia LaBuff: Would You Hit It?

March 14, 2013 / Posted by:

On the right is middle weight boxing champion Peter Quillin and on the left is light weight douche champion Shia LaBeouf. Peter and Shia are currently working out in the same gym together and Peter Instagrammed (via Towleroad) this picture after somebody in the room shouted, “Chiefs gone wild! Show me your tits!

For a while now, Shia has been looking like a generic version of Edward Norton in American History X and now he really looks like a generic version of Edward Norton in American History X. I never know if I’m into it or not. I mean, there is something about a millionaire asshole who does himself up like a fresh-out-of-prison blue collar worker even though he doesn’t know how to operate a manual lawn mower and probably has a $3,000 espresso machine in his modern Italian kitchen. I bet that when Shia gets out of his marble steam shower, he sprinkles organically grown fleas on his beard and sprays himself down with lab-made homeless man sweat to really authenticate his whole hipster hobo look.

And I’d suck off a metal trash can if it had a peen, so yeah, I’d hit it like Shia hitting a wall during play rehearsal.

Here’s some pics of Shia and his piece Mia Goth looking fresh, clean and happy in NYC the other day. Shia looks like a low-level member of the Russian mafia who kidnapped the underage daughter of a loading dock supervisor, because her father refuses to approve a crate full of drugs coming in from overseas. (Yes, I’m one of the only hos watching Red Widow.) So far the low-level Russian mafia member has been treating her nice, but judging by the pained looks on her face, he hasn’t let her take a dump since 6 rest stops ago and he keeps giving her coffee!

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