Miley Cyrus And Liam Hemsworth Broke Up
On the back of his tire-less El Camino that's been parked on the front lawn of the Cyrus house for years, Billy Ray Cyrus is using wrappers from his Taco Party Pack to dry the chipmunk tears off of Miley Cyrus' face as she bawls into his moobs. Noah Cyrus has stopped working on the flower girl pole dance she planned to do on the altar and the Piggly Wiggly catering department has stopped catching possums for the reception buffet, because Miley's wedding to Liam Hemsworth is off!
A source tells Page Six that even though Miley screamed on Twitter about how her wedding is still happening, it isn't. The hillbilly wedding of the year isn't off because Liam allegedly got frostbite on his dick from fucking January Jones. The wedding is off, because Miley, a 20-year-old, is partying too hard and Liam doesn't like it. Page Six's sores (Freudian typo and it stays) put it like this:
“Miley and Liam are done; it’s over. She likes to party really hard and can be pretty wild. It became a problem for him. They have broken up before, and are broken up again now. There was drama because she suspected he had a wandering eye. And she recently tweeted a denial that he cheated. While Miley has insisted they are still together, right now they are very, very much apart."
Liam went off to Australia to be with his family and Miley's been running around L.A. without her hitchin' ring on her finger.
Liam just couldn't take Miley's partying ways? Liam's publicist is funny. The chipmunk Draco Malfoy is 20. That's what you do when you're 20. You get a fake ID (or if you're Miley, you just say "I'm Miley, let me in"), you party and you get as many Capital One credit cards as you can and you max them all out at the bar (or if you're Miley, you just use cash). Besides, I too would be deep throating a bong and cleansing my insides with moonshine if my dude was out sticking his tongue in every trick but me.
And if you're in Southern California, you better grab your Snuggie, because the temperatures are going to drop when the home wrecking icicle in a wig that is January Jones cackles into the air after hearing this news.
• 
Ouch, I actually feel bad for this girl. I don't think she is fully aware of her washed up status yet. Her fans have grown up and forgotten her. Her childhood cuteness transformed into quite the average looks. And now the gold-digging boyfriend quits the sinking ship after she pulled him out of obscurity.
Tigerlilly, that's a lot of whorin' dedication. I salute you, my sista. *throws flower petals about the room... and some condoms*
HAHA on the house-playing Chipmunk. Go forth and have fun Liam, you too Chippie.
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Dlisted is a finalist! http://2013.bloggi.es/ Voting closes March 17.
Liam looks like he's slow and derpy. He seems like a gold digger. First Miley, then JJ. Who knew who he was before he became engaged to Miley?
Nice try at trying to excuse the slutting around with JJ.
Miley can do so much better. She needs to find a good-looking guy who is a steady working actor, not an extra in a movie.
Submitted by yucko on Wed, 03/13/2013 - 10:48am.
Agh, loopy. I started reading those lyrics and I thought, "What is this, a Miley song?" Now I'm probably going to have that stuck in my head, too.
-------------
oooppppssss :P
Submitted by jelliebean on Wed, 03/13/2013 - 10:58am.
hahahaha loopy! LMAO *puts on red cowgirl boots and dances*
and at M.K. "the Piggly Wiggly catering department has stopped catching possums for the reception buffet"
-----------
lol and ill totally dance like one of those moms in the video clip with my 16 year old daughters top, no bra, high waisted jeans, and dance like im horny and having hot flushes and my tits are sweaty and im on a prowl.
But they were both so deep and had so much to talk about!
Too bad for Miley. She lost the hottest piece she is likely to get. Unless she goes full J-Lo and adopts a piece.
No surprise. He never really looked like he actually *into* her and she acted like she was clinging onto him for dear life. I think this may help both of them careerwise too. He has a lot of upcoming projects and she's recording an "urban" album. The less we see of them on gossip blogs and th emore we see of them in cinemas and/or the charts the better.
There's nothing genuine about Miley Cyrus. Her parents raised her to be famous, it's all she knows. Everything is done for publicity so I can't bring myself to feel anything compassionate about her since I doubt she's ever done anything sincerely. I highly doubt she knows what emotion is unless her father tells her.
Maybe it's just me but I'm pretty sure no one should get married @ 20.
I mean, in my teens and early 20's I was doing lots of drugs and drinking.
I added whoring around in my early twenties.
In my mid twenties I narrowed the scope of the drugs and increased the whoring around.
In my 30's I cut out the drugs, (but not the booze) and the frequency of whoring around but still had that whore demon DEEP within my soul...DEEP, so I still whored.
Nowadays, after a prolonged absence of whorin' and only vino as my sweet, sweet nectar...with the OCCASIONAL hit of the good shit, I NEED to whore again....BAD. I mean, like QTip bad...I guess I ain't the marrying kind....I'm too much of a dedicated whore.
but back to my original thought. At 20, you sposeta still whore cuz you gotta figure out if you gonna be in the whorin' game for the long haul or if you gonna hang it up and quit bein' a nasty assed skank. That's what your teens and early 20's is for...and maybe your late 20's too...and maybe your early 30's...and mid 30's...and late 30's...and possibly your early to mid 40's...
By the time you old enough to collect social security, you need to decide if you in the whore game for the long haul, no if ands or buts about it...
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
All famous men cheat. Except Al Roker. He's good people.
_____________________
"Oh you little bitch troll from hell!" -- Patsy Stone
He probably is a little slow, but he has an Aussie accent. There's a lot some of us are willing to put up with to hear that on a daily basis. The novelty must have worn off.
So, he can *allegedly* cheat on her, but she can't party like a 20 year old?
Nice, Liam. Nice.
***********************************
Every saint has a past and
Every sinner has a future
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 03/13/2013 - 1:26pm.
Haha yeah, she's a "fuck don't marry" type.
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 03/13/2013 - 12:42pm.
You are probably right but hell she is worth like $120M she could just live her life out being rich! I would - screw being famous!
**************************************************************
Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
Liam's mamma reminded him, "its ok to date a skank, just dont bring one home".
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Liam is a gorgeous looking homosexual!
(Are there nude photos of Liam presenting bung-hole?)
He can do better than Miley. Her star has fallen, I highly doubt she will ever have the fame she had as a child again.
***********************************************
It's Amazing, with the blink of an eye you finally see the light
It's Amazing, when the moment arrives that you know you'll be alright
I think he finally realized he's a hot piece.
"Liam just couldn't take Miley's partying ways? Liam's publicist is funny. The chipmunk Draco Malfoy is 20. That's what you do when you're 20." <----this.
Part of me feels bad for her because I understand the excitement of getting married for the first time, to someone you've been with for quite a while, and the flutters and joys of being a bride. But I also have a hard time feeling sorry for her since Liam cheated on his Australian girlfriend with her. I don't blame her for the cheating, but I do blame her for being enough of a bonehead to try to have a committed relationship with him, knowing he has a wandering peen.
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Wed, 03/13/2013 - 11:24am.
I wanted to write a derrogatary comment, but I'm scared of Jada Pinkett Smith.
BWHAHA!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Douchechill!
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Wed, 03/13/2013 - 11:56am.
LOL. I guess it is. ;)
**************************************************************
Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
Well he was with Emma Watson not January Jones. OMG now the public is gonna have to endure a whole new round of media PR telling us how Miley is doing after this breakup. She will overcome! She is woman ! She is trong! She and her friends go out in defiance! She gets a new revenge body! PLEASE NO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I like Miley. She does her own thing and proudly rocks an extremely fug haircut, even though the rest of the world thinks she looks like shit. I knew her engagement wouldn't last...they're WAY too young. She'll be fine. I wouldn't be surprised if she had a new boyfriend in a couple months.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Douchechill!
rend your hearts and not your garments, everyone!
*gathers ashes from fireplace for forehead spreading*
p.s. eat something, MJT. your diet is affecting your snark gland... ;-)
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
No way I should have/wanted to have married in my 20s! And I'm a boring lawyer, not a rich celeb. I really have no knowledge of these two beyond DListed, but, both of you, go have fun!
Dennis the Menace
I wanted to write a derrogatary comment, but I'm scared of Jada Pinkett Smith.
.........................................................
Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by jelliebean on Wed, 03/13/2013 - 11:02am.
That chocolate dick cake spelled doom.
LOL. I remember that thing. It was the first time I recall going, "What is happening to little Miley?"
Gee. Whoever could have predicted this shocking turn of events.
______________________________________________
You gotta be fresh!
Oh, which lie to believe today?
Awww I kinda feel bad for her.
**************************************************************
Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
That chocolate dick cake spellled doom.
hahahaha loopy! LMAO *puts on red cowgirl boots and dances*
and at M.K. "the Piggly Wiggly catering department has stopped catching possums for the reception buffet"
Agh, loopy. I started reading those lyrics and I thought, "What is this, a Miley song?" Now I'm probably going to have that stuck in my head, too.
Submitted by RichBitch on Wed, 03/13/2013 - 9:35am.
@parkerj
Um, hate to break to ya but NO-ONE is on the backwoods rodent's side honey.
__________________
I'm no Miley Cyrus fan to be sure, but I can't help but feel for a girl when a guy is publicly cheating.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Wed, 03/13/2013 - 10:30am
you fucking did NOT just do that.... *listens to screaming babies to get song out of head*
----------------------------------------------
"I ain't a killer but don't push me, Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to gettin pussy" ~ Tupac Amaru Shakur
*gets cowboy boots out puts both hands on waist, put fingers through denim jean belt loops*
*dance*
You can tell the world you never was my girl
You can burn my clothes when I'm gone
Or you can tell your friends just what a fool I've been
And laugh and joke about me on the phone
You can tell my arms to go back to the farm
You can tell my feet to hit the floor
Or you can tell my lips to tell my fingertips
They won't be reaching out for you no more
But don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
I just don't think he'd understand
And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
He might blow up and kill this man
Ooo
Who didn't see this shit coming. She's 20, isn't pregnant, and doesn't currently live in the Appalachia. Besides these two broke up and got back together before so whatever.
-----------------------
"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 03/13/2013 - 10:20am.
(don't judge me, loopy, I have a daughter - which is why I know more than I should about this trickmunk)
------------
lol nobody judges here
Submitted by yucko on Wed, 03/13/2013 - 10:18am.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Wed, 03/13/2013 - 9:53am.
-----
Your narrative is probably not that far off the mark. Although, Liam is better looking than a lot of Hollywood dudes so maybe that helps. But I think he actually looks better in pictures, I saw the "Hunger Games" movie and in it his lips look HUGE and chapped.
-----------------------
yep thick lips and chapped. you know what that means.
*makes hands into fist, brings fist to mouth, pushes tongue against cheek*
Submitted by loopygorilla on Wed, 03/13/2013 - 10:10am.
I would say throw out the "7 things" song but I fear she may not know what you're talking about... (don't judge me, loopy, I have a daughter - which is why I know more than I should about this trickmunk)
----------------------------------------------
"I ain't a killer but don't push me, Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to gettin pussy" ~ Tupac Amaru Shakur
Shoc-King!
Submitted by loopygorilla on Wed, 03/13/2013 - 9:53am.
-----
Your narrative is probably not that far off the mark. Although, Liam is better looking than a lot of Hollywood dudes so maybe that helps. But I think he actually looks better in pictures, I saw the "Hunger Games" movie and in it his lips look HUGE and chapped.
Submitted by Anita Bidet on Wed, 03/13/2013 - 10:09am.
Hilarious that some people actually feel sorry for her. They need to read this
http://womansday.ninemsn.com/celebrity/celebrityheadlines/998675/miley-c...
-----------------------
poor Laura, looks like liam was just using her for her vajean and shopping money.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 03/13/2013 - 10:08am.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Wed, 03/13/2013 - 10:03am.
or maybe she's just being miley.
-----------------
LOLLLL The Legend of Billie Jean say whaaaaaa?
_________________________________________
olloolllolololol...sweet jeebus you are correctamundo. Billie Jean..lol
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 03/13/2013 - 10:08am.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Wed, 03/13/2013 - 10:03am.
or maybe she's just being miley.
-----------------
LOLLLL The Legend of Billie Jean say whaaaaaa?
--------------
My best friend Lesley said, "Oh she's just being Miley"
The next time we hang out, I will redeem myself My heart it can't rest 'til then Ooh whoa whoa I, I can't wait to see you again!
lol
Hilarious that some people actually feel sorry for her. They need to read this
http://womansday.ninemsn.com/celebrity/celebrityheadlines/998675/miley-c...
Submitted by loopygorilla on Wed, 03/13/2013 - 10:03am.
or maybe she's just being miley.
-----------------
LOLLLL The Legend of Billie Jean say whaaaaaa?
----------------------------------------------
"I ain't a killer but don't push me, Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to gettin pussy" ~ Tupac Amaru Shakur
We have no idea what goes on in their relationship. However, if they're both passionate/dramatic people the chances that they'll get back together, break up, get back together are pretty great at that age. It doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad match, it just means they don't know that fights can end without mini break ups; aka immaturity.
And just because the media says one thing adamantly doesn't mean it's true. Remember the Kate Middleton story where she said, "I'll take this for my d--"? Yeah they kept showing some video where you couldn't hear a thing amongst all the noise but you see her taking a bear. Well after days of that someone who was actually close to the encounter put up a video and Kate never says anything from the alleged quote. She just thanks the person for the bear and someone asks if she's having a daughter and she says no, they don't know the sex yet. So who knows what the JJ/Emma Watson angle really is.
He used her for fame, none of this is surprising, both better off. I almost sort of felt sorry for her until I noticed she's wearing an "anarchy in the uk" t-shirt to show us how edgy she is! Go away poser!