Hot Slut Of The Day!

A marauding pine marten who terrorized and ruled the field at a football match between FC Zurich and FC Thun last weekend!

I've never heard of the marauding pine marten before, but "marauding pine marten" must be a fancy way of saying "evil ass bitch." And that's why I love it. This devil weasel from the depths of hell rose up from the ninth circle and crashed a football game last weekend. It ran all around like it was on angel dust and it was chasing its hallucinations. One brave soul, Loris Bentio of FC Zurich, caught the marten, but he didn't know who he was dealing with, because that long furry tube of bitchiness bit his trick ass hand. Eventually, some dude wearing gloves caught it and the game went on.

I'd like to think that they put the marten in the back of a truck and drove it to animal control, but when they got there, they opened up the back of the truck and the marten was gone. Later that night, Loris slid into bed and he put his arms around what he thought was his wife (his wife is really short, skinny and furry), but it turned out to be the marten and it bit at his face.

I love this bitchy marten so much. It crashes the party and when one of the hosts tries to kick it out, it bites at that ho. It's like the Lindsay Lohan of weasels. Honey Badger, meet your match.

Posted by: Michael K

•

Hot Slut of the Day

Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 3:22pm.

Never heard of a "marten" but #3 and #1 are total hot sluts in my ho book. Love me some hot soccer playahs ALWAYS. Those boys be fit, YUM.

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Dlisted is a finalist! http://2013.bloggi.es/ Voting closes March 17.

Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 12:32pm.

LET ME GO YA SON'S A BITCHES! LET ME BE GREAT!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"you chickens need to go back to the coup, you need to lay some fucking eggs and do your fucking job, you scrambled ass bitch!"-Shane Dawson

Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 11:39am.

BWAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! YO FINGA, I BITE IT!

Submitted by BaconSlut on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 11:00am.

In less then two minutes, that adorable little fucker expended more energy than Hot Lips has in ten years! LMFAO at the Benny Hill music!

***********************************************

Submitted by MoRgaNNo on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:58am.

Goddamn don't u hate it when u wake up in the morning and u have all the tale-tell signs of gettin fucked last night, u know pants halfway off, liquor bottle on the floor next to the cum rag/towel, and that funny "recently inhabited" feeling in your vagina....but u CAN'T REMEMBER IT?

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:00am.

"Sir, can I pet your pine marten?"

Submitted by guest on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 9:58am.

It does look like a ferret!

******************

"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."

Submitted by guest on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 9:56am.

bahahahahaha!

******************

"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 9:56am.

Loris: all balls, no brains.

Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 9:28am.

Before the music started, I thought "this needs some Yakety Sax". Then I laughed my ASS off.

Then I got steamy from noticing how hot that football dude was. They could play that music while I chase HIM around a field!

Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 9:17am.

that was HOT!

**************************
"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA

Sucky 12/19

Submitted by Honeybadger on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 8:57am.

The Benny Hill music is the real Hot Slut here.

Educate yourself on the badass, not-fuck-giving honeybadger, Olivia! ~MK

Submitted by Doll-Parts on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 8:57am.

Cute! The music made me lol, which doesn't usually happen before my first cup of tea. Makes me miss my ferrets - little snakey-rat thieves.....

*"I got 99 problems, being a bitch ain't one!"*
-Courtney Love @ Sundance 2013

Submitted by yucko on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 8:56am.

That's awesome. Despite the fact that it was probably terrified, I got a kick out of it. Agreed that the Benny Hill music helps.

My dog goes crazy like that in short bursts when she gets really worked up.

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 8:56am.

Furry tube of bitchiness can also be used to describe Kim Kraptashian.

Submitted by chaka1 on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 8:52am.

I love him...

Submitted by boredashell on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 8:50am.

The comments for this on Yahoo were great. "Nice marmot" and "That's the most exciting thing I've seen at a soccer match!"

Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 8:47am.

Martens are cute but they also have very sharp teeth!

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 8:31am.

Poor baby must have been terrified; I hope his hand wasn't hurt too much...

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 8:28am.

That was funny when the Benny Hill music stopped then kicked back in again

Submitted by TexnDoc on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 8:27am.

Loving the Blohan comparison. I bet that bitch CAN move like that when they're trying to toss her out.

Submitted by Anima on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 8:26am.

That Benito guy is über hot, and the marten is lovely in the 2nd pic.

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 8:20am.

"Lemme play, guys, huh? Huh?? I can run like this, and zag like that! Come on, huh! Huh, guys? Pleez?"

Everything is funnier when set to the Benny Hill music.

Not_That_Steph_The_Other_Steph's picture

Submitted by Not_That_Steph_... on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 8:19am.

The Benny Hill music made it that much better.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
What separates us from animals is that we don't use our tongues to clean our own genitals.