Brandi Glanville was seven layers of tanked on Watch What Happens Live last night and when she’s drunk, the foolery just flows out of her mouth. Andy Cohen asked Brandi if her arch rival LeAnn Rimes read her book and she wouldn’t say anything bad about the Falkor of Texas. Brandi shoved talk of LeAnn Rimes to the side and went after Chelsea Handler instead. Chelsea was on WWHL last week and during the after-show she talked shit about all of the Housewives. Brandi had a message for her Chelsea:
“Like Chelsea Handler was here. She sucked on your show. She was horrible. She wasn’t funny, it was completely awkward. I saw the after-show where she was putting down the Housewives. Chelsea, suck it. We know each other… We have the same gaygent and I made out with her lesbian and her assistant and her brother, so she hates me.”
Her lesbian? Does that mean Chelsea owns a lesbian? But whatever, who hasn’t Brandi made out with? I’m sure 90% of the tongues in the L.A. area have had Brandi Glanville DNA on them at one point or another. Shit, 90% of everything in the L.A. area has been touched by Brandi Glanville DNA at one point or another. If light poles could talk, I’m sure one would tell me that Brandi is all tongue when she makes out. And it makes sense that Brandi hates Chelsea and vice versa. They’re both proud drunks, they’re both proud sluts and they’re both proud wearers of thirsty weaves. They both probably think that the other one is swallowing up the entire world’s supply of vodka, peen and yellow weaves.