The World Is Getting Another Duggar

March 11, 2013 / Posted by:

The Duggars are getting one baby closer to outnumbering us non-Duggars and it’s only a matter of time before they take over the world, enslave us all and force us to make their laundry soap and tend to the fall of curly fry curls on Michelle Duggar’s head. Michelle Duggar’s 24-year-old daughter-in-law and baby-making successor, Anna Duggar, tells People that she’s got a womb full of Duggar again. That eery tension you feel in the air is from Anna’s uterus shaking in fear at the thought of its future.

The oldest Duggar kid, Josh, married Anna in 2008 and she popped out their first kid, a daughter named Mackynzie, three years ago. Then 21 months ago, Anna birthed out their second kid, a son they named Michael. And in about three months, Anna and Josh’s third kid will land on this planet. Anna and Josh say that they’ve narrowed their baby name choices down to two and they wouldn’t say if they’re sticking with the letter M theme.

With two names starting with M in their family, will Josh and Anna continue the naming tradition?

“We’ve been throwing around name ideas and we are pretty certain we have it down to two,” Josh says. “We will have to see.”

As for the gender of the baby, the couple knows but is not sharing – for now. Until then, the whole Duggar clan is getting involved. Josh’s sister, Jill, 21, is a student midwife and has been assisting the couple and will be on-hand for their birth at an area birthing center.

Meanwhile, Jim Bob and Michelle, 46, are preparing to be grandparents again. “Being a grandpa is really special because Josh and Anna live only eight miles away and our kids and their kids almost consider themselves brothers and sisters,” he says. “They love playing together.”

Of course, they’re going to stick with the letter M. They’re Duggars. They’re jobs are to turn their vaginas into popcorn popper pussies and to completely hijack a letter from the alphabet. That’s the letter M’s cue to file for emancipation from the alphabet before it’s too late. And while the letter M does that, I should also distance myself from the letter M by legally changing my name to Dichael. I mean, it was pretty much my legal name in junior high school since that’s what all those assholes called me.

And every time the words “Duggar” and “pregnant” pop up on my RSS feed, I think it’s about Michelle Duggar and I shake my head while pouring one out for the hardest working organ in the baby making game: her war torn uterus. Hopefully, Michelle Duggar’s sweat shop worker uterus is retired and sipping a daiquiri on a beach somewhere.

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