Tuesday, March 12th 2013
The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For March 11th!
Confirmation of DNA results disproved the hospital staff's theory that they were being Punk'd by Kristin... Dax Shepherd is, indeed, NOT the father. - jack-n-the-hat
Runners-up:
The new co host for The View was introduced and Sherri Shepherd was relieved that she would no longer be referred to as the slow one. - daisy100
It was only a matter of time before one of Simon Cowell's succulent fur titties broke free to host its own show. - Spkheller
We're gonna have to shave your face Miss Kardashian before we do your vampire facelift you hairy bitch. - El Bastardo
via Buzzfeed
• 
I just saw this... Thank you, Michael!
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"I ain't a killer but don't push me, Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to gettin pussy" ~ Tupac Amaru Shakur
Jack and ElBathtardo! *high-fives with 11-Wide* Awesomeness, everyhooker!
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Congrats, jack-in-the-hat for the win! WTG, runners-up daisy100, Spkheller, and ElB! All funny as hell!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Jack & Daisy ♥
Congrats everyone!
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
I totally made the Kristen Bell/Maury joke first buuuuuutttttt whatever. that butt for brains ho Michael K can't be on point every single time. Congrats, bitches!
Jesus is a biscuit, let him sop you up!
D'aww, look at his widdle hand gripping the side of the chair. Too cute.
*smothers Jack with kisses*
daisy, I told ya that would win.
congrats ElB, ya stinky limey
Spkheller LOL
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
Can I please have Tom Hardy and the pit bull puppy as my prize?
All of these winners are great! Nice job winners!
YAY Sloors!!!!!!! These were all superb!!!!!!
I want to be the baloney in a One-eyed and El Bits sammich!!!!!!!!
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
congrats to my FAV SUSHI SLAMMERS Jack & El B. To all the stinkfish: P U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Congrats to a stellar line up of horz!
"...sometimes sucking on the same dick gets real boring." - MK's eloquent cousin
Brittany's staff worked overtime prepping her bikini line for her next limousine exit
hahahahaha. They were all funny! Jack <3
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
Good ones guys!!! Congrats!
LOL you guys!!!!
special blowjob for our Jack!!! xoxoxoxo
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"Tell them how you killed our baby, Amanda"
Adrienne Maloof back to work after the break-up.
While preparing for his comeback video, Zooboomafoo had a few demands: "Dump those two aging homos and and get me some fresh meat for Chrissakes! I think Zac Efron is available. And maybe that Franco guy. That's a spicy sandwich."
Precious little citizen!
"Mr. Brando, we're ready for your close-up."
Honey BooBoo's Spirit Animal
Kim-Jong Un needs a serious reality check.
This sure beats the fuck outta the jungle living & all for only a couple of BJs & a hand job to the right people in this town. I feel just like a Kardashian!!
Clinique's latest "free gift with purchase" includes Repairwear foundation in Buff, Soft Shine lipstick in Dusty Mauve, contained in a handy Baby Sloth make-up tote.
and we are introduced to the newest member of The View
Can you imagine how ugly she would be without make-up????
You can put make up on it but, it's still looks like lala Anthony.
In an effort to reduce costs, no human actors will appear in the new Star Wars movie.
At last! Rosie O' Donnell adopts a child that looks just like her.
I liked her better as Hannah Montana.
Lala Anthony really enjoys being pampered
Predictably, Gizmo of the Gremlins franchise has aged much better than the gremlins themselves.
Jebus Duggar, the 20th Duggar child needed a little makeup after falling out of Michelle's va-jay jay and hitting the floor face first.
Matt Lauer preparing for Today.
Rossini
In a desperate attempt to upstage Kim, Khloe goes au naturale for her latest photo shoot.
Ms. Mynaj, 3 hours until showtime
Turns out Chewbacca was a pageant Wookiee in his younger years. And some serious competition for Honey Boo Boo child.
Liam Hemsworth getting ready to shoot the Hunger Games.
A paternity test is being carried out on Kristen Bell's new born baby.
Imma fuck a bitch up if u mistake me for a kardashian one more time...........
RHOA Kim Zolciyack debuted her new wig line.
"The Enquirer" has won the bidding war rights to the first sonogram pics of WardDestAnyeKa$Hian fetus! On newsstands next month!
Confirmed: Jeremy Renner's makeup habit.
His Internet notoriety secure, Marten the Swiss Super League soccer star settles in for his 15 minutes of fame.
THE VAMPIRE FACELIFT WAS A SUCCESS!!!!!
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luscious_t requests asylum from Hollywood star whackers
Jennifer rushes to get her makeup done for her and Justin's wedding. She's determined to get married now that she knows that Brangelina filed for their marriage license.
"I'm worried that every time I hurt your feelings that you're gonna start drinking again." Peggy Olson, Mad Men
NAC:
I was driving home tonight and that McDonald's commercial came over the air. You know the one..."Fishay Fishay." After seeing this photo, I now have "Slothay Slothay" replaying in my brain. o_O
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The newest cast member of "The Real Housewives of the Rain Forest" prepares to out-act the Housewives of Beverly Hills, New York City, and Atlanta by taking a nap.
Olivia Wilde's happy beaver is ready for her Marie Claire interview too.
"I'm worried that every time I hurt your feelings that you're gonna start drinking again." Peggy Olson, Mad Men