As Miley Cyrus ran around with her hitchin’ ring not on her finger, January Jones landed at LAX from Paris and kept her mouth shut (“Oh now that home wrecking hussy whore keeps her slut mouth shut.” – Miley Cyrus) about whether or not she screwed Liam Hemsworth the night before the Oscars. Then TMZ’s camera dude got bold and said to January, “People think you’re a homewrecker, January. I’m just saying!” Since a true homewrecker never loses her cool and will later get revenge by fucking that camera dude’s husband or wife, the ice queen didn’t lose her cool and didn’t say anything.
But CDAN is saying that January has the sads about all of this, because she had no idea that Liam Hemsworth was engaged to Miley Cyrus. Someone told CDAN that January doesn’t really keep up with what’s going in Hollywood so she didn’t know Liam and Miley were (or are) together. When January asked him if he was dating anyone, he shook his head no and so they went at it. January’s all upset, because she feels like the homewrecker label on her forehead was starting to fade and now she’s getting blamed for wrecking Miley’s home.
Oh, please. Anybody who sucks on Liam’s tongue knows that he’s dating Miley Cyrus, because the inside of his mouth probably tastes like moonshine, pot brownies and chipmunk pellets. Besides, Sienna Miller and I refuse to believe that January would lick the face of a man she thought was single. The #1 rule of home wrecking is: don’t fuck single men! January Jones is the current reigning home wrecking queen of Hollywood and nobody can tell me otherwise. Truthfully, Liam Hemsworth should be getting all of the shit. January’s coochie is free to do whatever it wants. And yes, Chris Brown just fainted at the thought of an emancipated pussy.