Brangelina's Pink Holy Water Sells Out
It took all the members of Brangie child army nearly 5 months to harvest enough virgin blood and collect enough of Jennifer Aniston's tears to make 6,000 bottles of the Brangelina pank wine and it took only 5 hours for that crap to sell out.
Brad Pitt and Angie Jolie's Miraval Rose, made from grapes from the vineyard on their estate in France, went on sale online yesterday morning and by the afternoon, it was all gone. A rep for the Perrin family, the winemakers who actually made the wine, told People that all six-bottle cases (which went for $139 a case) are gone. But if you didn't get to buy a case, don't worry, you'll still get a chance to taste Brangelina's pank wine (which probably tastes like James Haven's saliva and goat sweat), because it goes on sale to restaurants and wholesalers later this month.
You're probably assuming that the Brangeloonies bought up every last case, because they figured that Brad Pitt made a regular habit out of stumbling into the vineyard to take a piss on the grapes after getting really, really stoned. (Side note: the label on the Brangelina wine should also read, "infused with Pitt piss.") But I don't think the Brangeloonies bought up all the bottles. I mean, the wine went on sale online at 9am and was sold out by 2pm. The computer lab in every Brangelooney ward at every mental hospital doesn't open until 3pm, so it couldn't have been them. It was obviously Jennifer Aniston. She's going to use the Brangelina wine to fill the Porta Potties at her wedding.
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That bottle looks BUDGET!
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 12:35pm.
I know it's an unpopular opinion but I liked Sonoma better than Napa. Possibly we just picked better wineries in Sonoma but I also had a better time there.
Sonoma's the bomb! No reason to go to crowded, spendy Napa. And Sonoma gets better the more you drive north. Check out Le Vin organic winery in Cloverdale. (Link: http://www.levinvineyards.com/)
My fave ever, anywhere, is still Preston in Dry Creek. (Link: https://www.prestonvineyards.com/)
Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 4:02pm.
The Brangeloonies are probably douching with it.
if they can break through the dust, cobwebs and dried Twilight cum
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
The Brangeloonies are probably douching with it.
That said, I'd drink that shit up if someone gave it to me for free. I love sweet, pink wine. Call me klassy. The Brange is smart for picking something that's hard to get wrong.
$136 for a six bottle case is fairly cheap, it would have been a smart move to buy some and then resell the bottles at a markup.
I am sure it tastes great, I love rose.
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Don't start none and the'll be none.
I have this theory that people are religious for the same reason they engage in celebrity worship: we just enjoy hero worship. Not that celebs are heroes but it seems like humans cannot just live and exist and get by without honoring, revering, admiring, worshipping, placing on a pedestal, bowing down before and imitating someone - Jesus or Brangelina. Dalai Lama, Pope, the Judge, Mr. President, Steven Spielberg, Justin Bieber, Muhammed - you name it. We always have to look up to someone - even if they are not deserving of it and even if those requirements to look up to them are arbitrary (i.e. there is no reason to worship a celebrity. They are just making movies, they arent curing cancer).
When I see people being called "extraoerdinary hisotic figuers" - one example that comes to mind is Neil Armstrong, I wonder why. I mean ok, Armstrong, as part of his job, got into a rocket and was shot to the moon. But he isnt the one making the rocket, he didnt to the leg work to make the launch happen and that he was picked was more a function of rank - that he had to earn like anyone else - and standing not because he in any way contributed intellectually to space exploration. similarly,when they landed it waspure chance that he got to first walk on the moon. I mean they had to walk on it anyway as part of their job. It was not like he did something that no one else could have done which allowed to walk on the moon.
So when i see people call him great, amazing and important person I really question how much of that was Armstrong just doing something extraordinary based on his own decisions and now much of it was just shit he had to do as part of the job; a routine that was different and which landed him the reputation. If they had picked Jim Jones in his place, we would now all worship Jim Jones. Point being: it is arbitrary and when people are worshiped it is rarely because there is something intrinsically extraordinary about them. A lot of it is just luck and circumstance.
Im ranting but yeah the point is that people "admire" Brangelina and wanna imitate them for the same reason we make jesus our messiah and create a god and call Armstrong an extraordinary human being for doing things that were essentially assigned to him and which he was ordered to do.
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
I think the bottle is very well designed, looks all expensive and shit. I don't think I would want to buy their wine though, otherwise I have no problem with celeb products (my favourite perfume is that blue bottle (Midnight something?) by Britney......).
I don't know much about wine at ALL. My favourite wine is a red wine from Chile called La Casita though :). It's 7 euros for a bottle but it's DELISH!
Couldn't pay me to drink this wine. I despise this couple immensely and will never support what they do.
MK you know you were the first on on line to buy this. It looks soo good. When I see rose wine I anticipate spring/summer nights....
Jolie Pitt are aiming at giving the Coppolas a run for their money in the vineyard biz.
There's a cake recipe on the interwebbys that includes Strawberry Hill. And it's not half bad!
Blah to this garbage, the only wine I'd try by a celebrity was the wine MJK from Tool/A Perfect Circle/Puscifer has his name on and that Crystal Skull Vodka by Dan Aykroyd.
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"you chickens need to go back to the coup, you need to lay some fucking eggs and do your fucking job, you scrambled ass bitch!"-Shane Dawson
the other day I was walking my pup in the woods and I saw this bottle half buried in leaves. It looked familiar and when I kicked it I saw it was MAD DOG 20/20! ha ha People are still drinking that~ in the woods, Good Times!
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 12:43pm.
@chinchilla -- kindly do not bring up that swill Boone's in the same thread in which whamo and i are discussing the bouquet and finish of the much more established and superior varieties of Mad Dog and Thunderbird. tyvm.
/shakes head at chinchilla's faux paux
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Franzia is the classiest of the bunch. Reminiscent of drunken frat parties and vomiting on the couch.
ah, memories....
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A Lannister always pays his debts.
I ate at one of Sammy Hagar's restaurants in Vegas and it was yummy, he seems like he is passionate and knowledgeable about his tequila brand. I love love love Newman's chocolate peanut butter cups. I ate them every day when I was pregnant. Stuffed them into my mouth ravenously like an addict. Weird, now I just look at them and laugh, can't eat them anymore.
Money grubbing attention whores.
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 12:13pm.
I still think THUNDERBIRD is the best wine out there, with the slogan "come alive for a dollar five" you KNOW you're getting a wine.
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HAHA, Whamo! I always knew "What's the word? Thunderbird! What's the price? Fifty twice! (or What's the fee? A dollar three!).
Perrin makes ok table wine.
Roses have improved a lot since the old days of Lancer's and Mateus.
Southern France and northern Spain have very good rose, made mostly from Grenache grapes. They are m ore complex and have higher alcohol content than white zinfandels.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
@Foxxy
lmao, sawwy!
@chinchilla -- kindly do not bring up that swill Boone's in the same thread in which whamo and i are discussing the bouquet and finish of the much more established and superior varieties of Mad Dog and Thunderbird. tyvm.
/shakes head at chinchilla's faux paux
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
TASTING NOTES
Lovely pale pink, clear color. The nose is intense, with delicate raspberry and red fruits-of-the-forest flavors. Shows finesse and complexity on a long, refreshing finish.
sounds like glorified Boone's
@ Whamo -- "head Elf of Santa's Lego division"
/wipes tears from eyes ahahahahahahahahahahaa omfg
ya know, i could not form words that "adiquitely" described that ensemble she's wearing. you nailed it. ;-P
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 12:16pm.
@Whamo -- Mad Dog rules, Thunderbird drools!!
*gets brown paper bag and heads behind dumpster in alley for drank-off vs whamo*
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grab brown bag, parks shopping cart, craps pants....OK NOW I'm ready, start drinkin
I would rather collect and ingest my own urine.
Posers.
Reasonably priced. Not bad.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 12:25pm.
I know it's an unpopular opinion but I liked Sonoma better than Napa. Possibly we just picked better wineries in Sonoma but I also had a better time there.
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 11:45am.
Paul Newman products are the best. Where I am they are typically cheaper than the generic grocery store brand and they are so much better, I hope they never go away.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 12:18pm.
Bieber meltdown -- inquiring minds had to know, Ophelia's on the j-o-b again!
http://www.gossipcop.com/justin-bieber-paparazzi-fight-video-london-phot...
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LOL I love that screen grab. It's hard to be tough when you look like the head Elf of Santa's Lego division
@Rande -- did not know about MacMurray. i think i've read that Fess Parker's vineyard's wines are well regarded. and Sam Neill in Australia...
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Not a fan of rose in general. I bet that stuff tastes like Arbor Mist.
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A Lannister always pays his debts.
Not a fan of rose in general. I bet that stuff tastes like Arbor Mist.
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A Lannister always pays his debts.
"She's going to use the Brangelina wine to fill the Porta Potties at her wedding."
LOL!
Can't drink Rose. Right up there with Niquil for me. yuk
and even if I did like it, would not give these two AH's a dime of my money--even for a pretty bottle.
will I poop pink?
Coma Caca!
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will I poop pink?
Coma Caca!
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Submitted by ewe on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 12:19pm.
It also makes it easier to pour with one hand all fancy-like.
That's very fancy... With a serviette over your left forearm?
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M83, Reunion
You know what's a superb "celebrity" wine? Fred MacMurray (the wise, bemused dad on "My Three Sons"), from Dry Creek, Sonoma. He took his Double Indemnity and TV money and started a really good cattle ranch and vineyard, sometime in the 1940s. (Gallo took over at some point--they always do--but kept up the quality.)
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M83, Reunion
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 11:42am.
Submitted by Not_That_Steph_... on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 11:34am.
Why do wine bottles have that pushed up bottom like that? Is there a special reason or is it so you get less wine than you actually paid for?
It's sold by volume, but the indent does make the bottle look bigger and rounder. I think it started with aged reds, so the sediment collects on the bottom. These rosés will be swilled young, so not sure why the bottles need the indent, other than appearance and ease of handling.
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It also makes it easier to pour with one hand all fancy-like.
Bieber meltdown -- inquiring minds had to know, Ophelia's on the j-o-b again!
http://www.gossipcop.com/justin-bieber-paparazzi-fight-video-london-phot...
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
What Dementa said... Don't talk about the process and hard work!!
Foxxy, I haven't seen them at the stores but I know about them from a trip to Tequila Mex.
@Whamo -- Mad Dog rules, Thunderbird drools!!
*gets brown paper bag and heads behind dumpster in alley for drank-off vs whamo*
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
I still think THUNDERBIRD is the best wine out there, with the slogan "come alive for a dollar five" you KNOW you're getting a wine.
Submitted by dementa on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 12:07pm.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 11:45am.
as MJT said, hope you get to visit his vineyard or order direct! i've only had grocery store Coppola -- i like the Rosso, it's a good basic, non-fancee' red for purposes like swilling while talking shit on dlisted
on the wine note, BevMo is currently having one of its 5 cent sales...
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
$139 for six bottles? That's some fine wine all right
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Aren't there 12 bottles in a case? I heard the cost was $12/bottle and that price included shipping.
I don't drink alcohol but I think that bottle is pretty so I would buy one and put it on a shelf and look at it.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 11:45am.
It sounds like Coppola is serious, so I'd totally try it.
I dunno if I'd reject it BECAUSE it had a celebrity, if it was a quality product. But I hate when celebrities come out with fashion lines/food/wine/novels etc, never actually being involved or having any passion except for the money it brings them. That fucking burns.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by Happy Hour on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 12:03pm.
i cannot say that i have ever seen any of those brands -- have to pay attention next time i'm in store
and how the hell did Chris Brown and Xzibit get put together for ANYTHING?! must have the same representation or management...
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 12:01pm.
Didn't mean to be one of THOSE posters. LOL. Just pointing out that one they misused the word case! I still think they could have sold out for more! My friend works in the wine biz I'm gonna have to ask her if she has heard anything about it's quality.
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 11:30am.
LOL Mike...she may return!
Be careful. I've heard she can be a c-word.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 11:59am.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 11:53am.
gives me a peaceful, floating vibe. kind of like the outer space version of your previous avi... ;-P nice!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Related topic. Do you really see Clooney (casamigos) Justin T (901 tequila) or Chris Brown and Xzibit ( tequila Bonita) ruining their manicures for the passion of tequila making? Yeah
"Ang and Brad won't be using their stardust to shift the bottles, the only mention of the pair is on the back of the label which says, "Bottled by Jolie-Pitt and Perrin."
Are you fucking kidding me?
http://www.entertainmentwise.com/news/107469/Brad-Pitt-And-Angelina-Joli...