Should’ve Been You, Hasselcrack, Should’ve Been You

March 7, 2013 / Posted by:

Joy Behar, quit The View today after being on it since episode one, because she says she wants to focus on her stand-up career or whatever. Hmmm, I’m trying to figure out which is the better option:

1. Make a mountain of money to talk shit while sitting in a comfortable chair a few hours a day, four days a week.

or

2. Get out of bed in the morning knowing that you don’t have to look at Elisabeth Hasselcrack’s annoying face in person that day.

Joy went with option #2 and told Deadline that for almost 17 years she’s been one of the hens loudly pecking at the other hens and she’s done with it.

“You reach a point when you say to yourself, ‘Do I want to keep doing this?’ There are other things on my plate I want to do — I’ve been writing a play, I’ve been neglecting my standup.

I have a lot of friends [at The View], and I will miss everyone I’ve worked with because we have a family there. It is a smart talk show because somebody of [Barbara’s] stature is leading the conversation; Barbara was one of the main reasons I took that job.”

Joy’s HLN show was dropped into the shit can and her show on Current TV will end once the network gets taken over by Al Jazeera. Joy, who will stay with The View until the summer, is talking to CNN about possibly doing a show there.

Joy’s replacement probably won’t be announced for a while, but Brooke Shields and Alexandra Wentworth are supposedly talking to the producers of The View about taking that second chair. Brooke Shields and Alexandra Wentworth? Nope. They might as well replace Joy with an over-boiled piece of cauliflower if they’re thinking of replacing her with Brooke Sheilds and Alexandra Wentworth. Here’s my top 5 choices for Joy’s replacement:

1. Tan Mom
2. Rosie O’Donnell (but only if The View agrees to not let her bear handlers try to tame her when she jumps on Elisabeth)
3. Tard the Grumpy Cat
4. A shark who only eats blondes
5. Jon Hamm’s Hammaconda

or The View can just pretend that Joy Behar never left and put Fred Armisen as Joy in the second chair every day.

We’ll never know the difference.

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