Open Post: Hosted By A Stunningly Exquisite Gypsy Wedding Dress

March 6, 2013 / Posted by:

There’s a bunch of saved episodes of TLC’s Gypsy Sisters in my Tivo and I have yet to watch one, but I’m going to chain myself to the TV and watch them all in a row. I could learn a thing or fifty from these graceful flowers on how to carry yourself with grace and poise, and how to always buy the finest clothes that a shoebox full of unmarked bills can buy.

In case you missed Sunday’s episode, here’s 23-year-old knocked up gypsy bride Mellie Stanley trying on a dress that is so delicately luxurious that if Snooki ever births out a guidetteling, her daughter will wear a copy of this dress to her first communion. Mellie looks like one of Teresa Giudice’s shower puffs. A vision!

If you’re getting married soon and want to be the true definition of understated elegance, make sure your dress is covered in leopard print, hot pink ruffles and tacky ass crystals. Make sure you look like a crash site where a bus carrying child beauty queens smashed into a semi carrying fine goods from Z Gallerie.

These gypsy brides just keep outdoing each other and I can’t wait until one of them shows up to her wedding wearing nothing but a bedazzled pussy patch and two tiny veils over her nips.

via Daily Mail

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