Behold, The “Iconic” Porn Iguana

March 5, 2013 / Posted by:

When you look at Courtney Stodden, don’t you think to yourself that she is exactly what Jayne Mansfield would look and act like if Jayne suffered from that Benjamin Button’s disorder and her body was taken over by the spirit of the lizard men? Courtney Stodden does too! Courtney tells Rumor Fix that she thinks she’s a twinkling star in the universe of icons along with the likes of Jayne Mansfield, Marilyn Monroe and Brigitte Bardot. Methinks Courtney is just saying this shit, because she really wants Mariska Hargitay to call her mommy. This is the stream of hilariousness that came out of Courtney’s mouth:

“I look back to the pin-up days — Jayne Mansfield, Brigitte Bardot, Marilyn Monroe, and those beautiful iconic women. I want to be an icon and feel like I am. I feel like I’m different, I married young. Those women were old souls, and I feel like I can connect with them. We are both old souls and we’re having fun, and being glamorous and flirty.”

Courtney looks slightly older than current day Brigitte Bardot and both Jayne and Marilyn got married before their 18th birthdays, so she might be on to something. If Jayne’s first husband also looks like a bald Rosie O’Donnell as played by Matt Lucas, then Courtney totally is our generation’s Jayne Mansfield.

Here’s the iconic Courtney Stodden and her creep-faced husband Doug Hutchison walking around West Hollywood yesterday afternoon. I know being an icon is a full-time job, but Courtney being an icon isn’t her true calling. Bitch should be a professional smugger. I mean, if you pulled her bra off, out would fall 4 other padded bras, a pair of Phoebe Price’s old chicken cutlets, 10 pairs of shoulder pads, Doug’s sense of decency, her dignity, her original birth certificate, her mother’s Mom of the Year Award and an extra pair of exquisite lucite heels. Everything is stuffed in there. So Courtney can smuggle anything into the country for us like drugs, non FDA-approved diet pills, Cuban cigars, Absinthe and even some of my family members. Anything we want! Where do I place my order?

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >