La Toya Trades In Her Detective Monocle For A Pimp Cane

March 4, 2013 / Posted by:

Since Detective La Toya has officially gotten to the BOTTOM OF EVERYTHING and single-handedly put Michael Jackson’s shady ass doctor in prison (Side note: I shouldn’t say single-handedly, because I’m pretty sure the Watson to her Sherlock, Bubbles, helped out by polishing her monocle at least once), her crime-solving days are over and now she can focus on a new career: pimping out MJ’s kids for a quick check.

Page Six says that La Toya must’ve inherited Joe Jackson’s talent at pimping (minus that whole “beating with a switch” thing), because she’s managing the “careers” of Michael Jackson’s kids and is getting them gigs. Auntie Toy Toy started a managing company called Jai-Tail Enterprises and right now the Jackson kids are her only clients. In just a few weeks, Auntie Toy Toy got 16-year-old Prince Michael a correspondent job on Entertainment Tonight and a guest starring role on the now-canceled 90210. Only the best and A-listiest gigs for Prince Michael! 15-year-old Paris Jackson recently booked a role in a movie, which starts filming in London later this year.

But all of those gigs are small time compared to the $10 million reality show deal that La Toya is working on right now. A source says that La Toya is out there selling a reality show starring the Jackson kids and Katherine Jackson. OWN is interested in the show and if La Toya closes the deal, she’ll get 15% commission of that $10 million. The source says that the Jackson kids trust Auntie Toy Toy, because while their other aunts and uncles were kidnapping their memaw, she took them into the corner and whispered into their ears, “Stick with me kids and I’ll make you STAHS!

“She pounced while everyone else was making a lot of useless noise. It was her smoke screen, and she got it done. She told them how she knew [Michael] better than anybody else, and she knew he’d want them to follow their dreams; and because they were his children, they could be media and entertainment moguls. She had a blueprint. She sold it, and they bought it.

Prince wasn’t exactly eager to do ET, but could you tell? When the money is on the line, Toya is going to cash in. I wouldn’t bet against her.”

You can say that Michael Jackson is probably moonwalking in his grave over the thought of his kids tap dancing for a check under the spotlight, but I doubt he is (he totally is). Michael Jackson trusts Auntie Toy Toy and knows that if anybody can whore his kids out with class, it’s her. Toy Toy is obviously proving MJ right by turning Prince Michael into a glorified Billy Bush and getting him a role on the #1,687 show in the country 90210.

And Auntie Toy Toy’s job as the Jackson kid’s manager isn’t complete until she gets Blanket Jackson a job as the new face of Salon Selectives. I mean, with a luxurious mane like that.

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