Hot Slut Of The Day!

Valentina, the Brazilian made Real Doll goddess who is making the forever alones of the world empty out their piggy banks for the chance to spend one night with her fully functional rubber vagine.

Dutch site Nieuwsblad.be says that Brazilian sex toy maker Sexonico is promoting the world’s first ever international convention of Real Dolls (aka The Gathering of the Basement Sons) by auctioning off a romantic and luxurious night in Sao Paulo with what they say is the most sophisticated Real Doll ever made. Valentina is more natural than Nicki Minaj, has more charisma than all of the Kartrashians combined and I’m sure she can sex a trick better than Parasite Hilton can (but that’s not saying much since even a stuffed sloth can sex a trick better than Wonky). Lana Del Rey’s pussy may taste like Pepsi-Cola, but Valentina’s tastes like Silica Gel Packets and a rubber oven mitt.

Sexonico says that Valentina’s manufactured skin feels exactly like human skin and when you dip her in a warm tub, her rubber body gets to the same temperature as a real human’s body. The winner of the auction will be flown to Sao Paulo, set up in a luxury hotel and will get to share a romantic dinner and bubble bath with Valentina before “taking her virginity.” The winner will get to say that he was the first man to ever be with Valentina and the action figures he keeps on a shelf over his twin bed in the basement will be so impressed.

Right now, the highest bid is at 100,000 reals (around $50,000 USD).

Who cares if $50,000 will buy you a night with the Lohan lady of your choice. The shame you’ll feel after realizing that you spent $50,000 to talk to and jizz inside a rubber doll is priceless.