Hot Slut Of The Day!
Valentina, the Brazilian made Real Doll goddess who is making the forever alones of the world empty out their piggy banks for the chance to spend one night with her fully functional rubber vagine.
Dutch site Nieuwsblad.be says that Brazilian sex toy maker Sexonico is promoting the world's first ever international convention of Real Dolls (aka The Gathering of the Basement Sons) by auctioning off a romantic and luxurious night in Sao Paulo with what they say is the most sophisticated Real Doll ever made. Valentina is more natural than Nicki Minaj, has more charisma than all of the Kartrashians combined and I'm sure she can sex a trick better than Parasite Hilton can (but that's not saying much since even a stuffed sloth can sex a trick better than Wonky). Lana Del Rey's pussy may taste like Pepsi-Cola, but Valentina's tastes like Silica Gel Packets and a rubber oven mitt.
Sexonico says that Valentina's manufactured skin feels exactly like human skin and when you dip her in a warm tub, her rubber body gets to the same temperature as a real human's body. The winner of the auction will be flown to Sao Paulo, set up in a luxury hotel and will get to share a romantic dinner and bubble bath with Valentina before "taking her virginity." The winner will get to say that he was the first man to ever be with Valentina and the action figures he keeps on a shelf over his twin bed in the basement will be so impressed.
Right now, the highest bid is at 100,000 reals (around $50,000 USD).
Who cares if $50,000 will buy you a night with the Lohan lady of your choice. The shame you'll feel after realizing that you spent $50,000 to talk to and jizz inside a rubber doll is priceless.
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Gee-ross!!!
Um, couldn't you get a few real women for that price?
Submitted by helenevienna on Sun, 03/03/2013 - 12:17pm.
Excuse me, nieuwsblad.be is Belgian, that's why it's .be
If you call something Dutch you refer to the Netherlands although the Belgians of the North speak the Dutch language.
You're right, of course. But the site is partly in Dutch and partly in fractured, translated English.
Excuse me, nieuwsblad.be is Belgian, that's why it's .be
If you call something Dutch you refer to the Netherlands although the Belgians of the North speak the Dutch language.
So you should have written "the website in Dutch..."
Does it cook and clean? Bubbles can't be cluttering.
She looks more real than half of Tinseltown.
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Heaux Confessionals:
Welcome to 'pulp friction'...
http://www.amazon.com/Heaux-Confessionals-The-Sintroduction-ebook/dp/B00...
It looks like a tranny.
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
Maybe they just want someone who can sit there and look pretty during dinner without the need for dull conversation, and who won't start talking after the jizzing has been done?
Looks like Dr. Phil's wife. Fitting.
I would love to know how Valentina's make-up stays so perfect after a night of passion. She really should consider doing a make-up tutorial on you tube.
Her smokey eyes and nighttime lips are fantastic.
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Britney looks so much better with brown hair
All that effort and they couldn't craft a better face than *that*? Shennanigans.
Damn the world is so weird. If I were an awkward man with women problems or abandonment issues I'd just get myself a mail order bride. A bride from a real hell hole country who will be grateful as hell to cook and clean my house. I wouldn't settle for some doll.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
Even Nana Lohan?
I hope Lars is the winner. I'm sure Ryan Gosling is dying to make "Lars and the Real Girl 2".
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
gathering of the basement sons.........LMAO
Submitted by babybunny on Sat, 03/02/2013 - 6:40pm.
So men are willing to sacrifice. Lots of time and money to have sex with a plastic vagina and how the fuck can ou have dinner with a doll????
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DUH, do you not remember the "Baby Alive" Dolls? He feeds her jello (or peanut butter) for dinner and then has a romantic bubble bath with her and hits it...What's not to love? This doesn't warm your heart?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
The photos of her biting the pillow while apparently taking it from behind are weird...but weirder still that she looks like a transvestite. I would have said I can't believe that many men are that lonely they've got to get a doll to imitate a woman. Now realize women aren't the problem... closeted men afraid to admit they are into transvestites are.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sat, 03/02/2013 - 4:48pm.
It'll have that same intense, petrifying demon stare when it comes to life at night and tears your dick off.
ha ha ha ha
So men are willing to sacrifice. Lots of time and money to have sex with a plastic vagina and how the fuck can ou have dinner with a doll???? Too many questions but really wtf is the matter with men of the world, that they won't even look or talk to so many real human women but would spend that amount of scratch on a doll, if it sex go get a local hooker again Imsay wtf is the matter with men'????
Submitted by LeMonjello on Sat, 03/02/2013 - 5:15pm.
How do they prove it's a virgin?
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Word up. This bitch has been passed around more than a Lohan facing foreclosure/eviction. Just look at how she dresses! That's no virgin. No siree, Bobcat...Bitch has had that plastic puddy TO' UP and she liked it. You can tell by the look on her face...
And sorry if this has already been addressed but can you get some back door action with Valentina? And if so, do you shove some peanut butter up her asshole after her 15 minute warm up bath or what? Enquiring Minds Wanna Know...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Valentina? try Angelina.
Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppyyyyyyy!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
"The Gathering of the Basement Sons" made me laugh & laugh!!!
Can you imagine meeting a guy, going out a few times,he seems ideal and deciding "tonight is the night". Only to go to his place and meeting his real doll?
That's when you back.away.slowly.
Hahahaha @Luci. That's great!
How do they prove it's a virgin?
It'll have that same intense, petrifying demon stare when it comes to life at night and tears your dick off.
Submitted by Mel-Tang on Sat, 03/02/2013 - 4:18pm.
This is amazingly sad, funny, creepy, confusing, and interesting all at the same time. I've never experienced such a wide range of emotions in one shot. I guess my meds aren't working? :O
I cant wait to see the winner.
I'm betting it will be a successful ITer
Hey hey now. Men aren't birthed and raised by other men. I always say if women want good men they need to learn how to teach them to relate to women.
Plus teach other women who don't have a clue and/or their little boys. I don't think it's too farfetched to conclude some boys can grow up with the impression that all girls are like their
mothers (the bad ones.)
As far as this business right here goes, it's a waste of money if the doll can't make a good sammich. >:-P
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youdownwitopp?(yeahuknowme)youdownwitopp?(yeahuknowme)youdownwitopp?(yeahuknowme)who'sdownwitopp(allthehomies!)
Submitted by FluffKitteh on Sat, 03/02/2013 - 3:58pm.
What the hell is wrong with men? How hard is it to ask a human woman out on a date? Jesus.
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Let's not open that can of worms, shall we? For many years now, I've been strongly convinced that men are a different species than we are.
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Steven Tyler does White Oprah drag better than White Oprah does White Oprah drag. - MK
If I had that kind of money you bet your ass I would bid on it and give it to some poor sap for shits and giggles. Please tell me this is what's happening, people with too much money and time outbidding to make a joke
Obviously that website is in Belgium, not Netherlands. Americans seem to have a problem with that...
This is really something that's going to happen??
Oh dear.
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Steven Tyler does White Oprah drag better than White Oprah does White Oprah drag. - MK
Best sex doll ever was Bud Bundy and "Isis". That gag always made me LOL.
This is amazingly sad, funny, creepy, confusing, and interesting all at the same time. I've never experienced such a wide range of emotions in one shot. I guess my meds aren't working? :O
I cant wait to see the winner.
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Those things give me the creeps. It looks real, it feels real, but it doesn't have a pulse and you're taking it's virginity. Does that make it necrophilia and is she considered a minor? So many questions. So many wrong wtf's to think about.
What the hell is wrong with men? How hard is it to ask a human woman out on a date? Jesus.
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"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK
The Real Housewives of Somewhere don't look so natural.
I thought I was looking at one of those super photoshopped "Real Life Barbie Doll" girls from tumblr.
That doll is ugly, the japanese ones are way more realistic.
I guess its better than getting std's? I guess as long as they get rid of it when they get real puss.. I dunno.. The whole thing is weird.
Submitted by Mani6 on Sat, 03/02/2013 - 1:25pm.
Yes...the rubber oven mitt...don't knock it if you haven't tried it. *runs away*
Submitted by BearAspirin on Sat, 03/02/2013 - 1:16pm.
Does one wear a rubber to fuck it?
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OLOLOLOLOL, thank you!
There are some very disturbing underlying issues with this shit...
Submitted by saltydog on Sat, 03/02/2013 - 2:51pm.
wait that video just said "there are now three thousand real dolls across the world"
that is such a tiny, tiny amount these people are freaks and should be judged and shunned.
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BUT THERE ARE ONLY HALF AS MANY PANDAS IN EXISTENCE!
PLEASE... LET'S NOT JUDGE OR SHUN THE PANDAS BECAUSE OF THEIR NUMBERS.
THEY DON'T KNOW IF THEY ARE RACCOONS OR BEARS.
http://omgcutethings.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/omg-cute-things-1116...
wait that video just said "there are now three thousand real dolls across the world"
that is such a tiny, tiny amount these people are freaks and should be shunned.
Submitted by rosehips69 on Sat, 03/02/2013 - 1:07pm.
If you want to see a super-creepy and sad documentary about the dudes who buy these dolls, watch this:
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*squints* you had me at super-creepy, you had me at super-creepy
anyone else think she looks like a hooker Jennifer Garner?
@ MJT -- bambam and whamo are traveling by sea. they plan to buy in bulk, lmao
@ Bacon -- true dat, true dat ;-)
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
@Foxxy
LMAO!!! But just on his way to the airport? I would have placed him at mid-flight! ;)
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Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sat, 03/02/2013 - 2:24pm.
Naaaaah, Jack likes em blonde ;) Haven't seen BamBam around this morning!
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
Submitted by agirl on Sat, 03/02/2013 - 2:22pm.
I wonder which Dlisters are right now tryna figure out how they can come up with $50,000 plus and get their asses to Brazil.
jack's already at the airport...
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12