You haven’t lived until you’ve pulled a bright ginger pube out of your mouth and I guess Taylor Swift knows this, because the elven tramp of The Shire is once again spending time with the bushel of Hobbit pubes known as Ed Sheeran. When Taylor broke up with that Kennedy dude and the family let her know that she needs to be gone or they will take her for a nice night time drive off a bridge, she supposedly rebounded with Ed Sheeran. Taylor is apparently back with the real-life Chuckie Finster after his friend Harry Styles dumped her ass.
A source tells The Sun that when Taylor was in London for the Brit Awards, Ed Sheeran spent some time with her in her hotel room and was there until 4 in the morning. Now the guests next to Taylor’s hotel room know what all that giggling and moaning was about. It wasn’t sex noises, it was just Taylor whining and crying after Ed beat her in a game of Mall Madness. The source said that Taylor really feels like Ed could be the one (aka she can get at least 2 albums worth of songs out of him) and she wants to be boyfriend and girlfriend with him after her tour ends.
“Taylor has always loved Ed to bits. He’s just an adorably sweet guy who makes her laugh and feel really confident. Harry had that irresistible bad boy thing but Taylor has realised she would rather give it a go with a guy who can make her happy on a different level.
Taylor made it clear when they go off on tour she wants Ed to be her boyfriend. He’s thrilled as he has always thought she’s amazing. When they split last year he always hoped they would get back together. They’ve both vowed not to have a nasty break-up no matter what happens.”
I’m torn (insert your butt plug jokes here), because on one hand, Ed Sheeran gives off subtle shades of Rojo Caliente and that means he’s way too good for Taylor’s ass. On the other hand, this is meant to be, because Taylor look like an elf maiden and he looks like the black sheep of the Hobbits. It’s like some kinky Lord of the Rings fanfic come to life.