And now it’s time for everyone’s favorite topic: PLACENTA EATING! This is the perfect story for me to type about in between taking bites of the cold, medium rare steak leftover from last night’s dinner.
Hugh Hefner’s former number one ho, Holly Madison, is birthing out a baby daughter any day now and she writes on her blog (via UsWeekly) that she plans to swallow down her womb meat after giving birth. No, Holly isn’t having her placenta turned into jerky and she’s not planning to use it to make a uterus daiquiri (ingredients: placenta, ice, rum and hummingbird juice). Holly says that she’s going to have her placenta turned into pills. Personally, this isn’t gross to me at all considering that Holly has swallowed things that were a billion times more disgusting while munching on Hef’s butt. Holly wrote this:
This might sound gross, but I’m totally planning on having my placenta turned into pills I can take after giving birth. I heard it helps women recover faster and I want to recover as quickly as I can!
Have any other moms out there done this?
Holly must’ve been talking to January Jones, because my new favorite home wrecking legend tells Glamour UK (via DM) that although she regrets telling everybody about eating her own uterus carne, she thinks that every pregnant chick should do it.
“I should never have told anyone about that. But it’s not gross or witchcrafty. Nor am I putting it in a shake or eating it raw. It’s a very civilised thing that can help women with depression or fatigue. I was never depressed or sad or down after the baby was born, so I’d highly suggest it to any pregnant woman.”
So if you had the post-baby sads in a bad way after giving birth, it’s because you didn’t swallow down a box full of Placentaburger Helper. January also went on to say that if taking placenta pills doesn’t help with your depression, just follow your baby daddy’s wife to the grocery store, find her in the produce section, go up to her and while you’re stroking your bald baby’s head, say to her, “Isn’t he beautiful. He has your husband’s eyes, bitch.” It’ll take you higher every single time.
Here’s Holly at some event in Las Vegas the other day and January in Glamour UK.