Kim Kartrashian made a “dying trout gasping for water” face while faking an orgasm in her sex tape with Ray J and it made her a STAR!, so she’s trying to stretch her relevancy by making the same face on the cover of a French magazine. L’Officiel Hommes got Kim and Kanye Kardashian to rub their naked bodies together for a cover that will make many people say to themselves, “Well, I guess this is going to be one of those non-stop barfing days.”
You’d think that Kim would be a master at making manufactured sex faces since she got famous for getting on Ray J’s boomerang dick in front of a camera, but she isn’t. The hell is that face she’s making on that cover? She looks like she’s trying to sneeze. The sneeze is right there, but she can’t push it out, so she’s closing her eyes and focusing. Achoo, bitch, achoo! It also looks like Kim choked on a churro and Kanye is trying to give her the Heimlich Maneuver, but he’s not really sure how to do it. What I’m saying is that this looks like anything but sex.
Besides, Kanye and Kim don’t fuck. I refuse to believe that. Kanye’s idea of a good time is dressing Kim up in messed up fashions and taking Polaroids of her so that he can jack off to those Polaroids in the corner while praising himself as a true style genius.
And add this cover to the long list of things that confirm that any bit of sanity Kanye had left in his being is gone. Kanye threw hate at Jay-Z, busted into a screeching hissy fit in London and now this mess? Kanye was also insane, but pour a little Kartrashian on his last bit of sanity and BOOM!