So What The Hell Happened To Kristen Stewart?
Kristen Stewart hobbled into the Oscars on crutches last night and when she presented with Daniel Radcliffe, she limped and twitched like a strung out pimp suffering from severe diarrhea. KStew looked like her publicist peeled her off the bathroom floor, quickly sprayed her down with a hose, threw clothes on her body and pushed her out the door (basically, she looked like a hungover me trying to keep down the barfs while buying a breakfast burrito at Jack In The Box on a Saturday morning).
KStew looked like a visual dry heave, she acted like the Oscars were the last place she wanted to be and I think she left loogie pieces on the mic when she hacked and grunted into it. So some hos were wondering what in alley cat hell happened to her? Did Liberty Ross Nancy Kerrigan her in the knee? Is she trying really hard to get a role on The Walking Dead? Well, UsWeekly has the answer.
A source says that right before she presented, KStew ran into Anne Hathaway backstage and they had a moment that went like this:
Anne - Oh no!
KStew - I know, I'm an idiot. But congratulations!
Anne - Please tell me you're going on stage with those crutches.
KStew - Nope. I'm gonna hobble.
Anne - Well, break a leg. Oops!
KStew - I just hope the wound doesn't open up right now.
End scene.
The source added that KStew told Anne that she cut her foot open when she accidentally stepped on glass.
I guess KStew learned the hard way that you should always put on a pair of sturdy house shoes before you walk around the crack house, because you never know when some rude and uncouth crackhead is going to leave their broken pipe on the floor. Some crackheads are such slobs. This is a lesson we must all learn.
And I also threw in some pictures of Liberty Ross' nipples at last night's Vanity Fair party, because why not.
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The Oscars were awesome this year! Although I enjoyed the post-Oscars more thanks to the sequel of Movie:The movie by Jimmy Kimmel it's great to see al the actors joke around after being so formal and serious at the Oscars. If you haven't already seen it, check it out! http://bit.ly/MovieTheMovie2
it is probs just me but KStew sounds like a total lesbo with a softball injury there.
More like KStew was taught a lesson by the Hollywood satanists at one of their BDSM orgies so she's a little sore the next day. Ba-dum-dum!
liberty looks like a drug bikie gang members bitch.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 02/26/2013 - 1:09am.
lol ummmm cetaphil is only used in extreme emergencies to mimic cum stains.
so dont be using it, unless its an emergency.
Loopy, you dirty birdy. ...um... You gave me the idea to dress up as a giant zit zombie! Come too close and squirt all over! Now who's the perv? *covers ears and eyes at the implication of...* PERV! lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Mon, 02/25/2013 - 11:14pm.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 02/25/2013 - 10:52pm.
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And that fence humping they did too. WFH was that were they doing? You should have been in charge. Cetaphil, that's brilliant. Imma remember that for the next Halloween party! lmfao
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just what are you going as for next halloween party that you need cetaphil to mimic fake cum stains? monica lewinsky? tom cruise? lindsay lohan? john travolta?
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 02/25/2013 - 10:52pm.
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And that fence humping they did too. WFH was that were they doing? You should have been in charge. Cetaphil, that's brilliant. Imma remember that for the next Halloween party! lmfao
At least it wasn't KStew and RPatz. That would have been as bad a Dakota Fanning doing that "perfume in the crotch" ad she did.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Mon, 02/25/2013 - 10:45pm.
that was the worst scandal ever, they should have hired me to make it look authentic.
i would have arranged for "accidentally" photos of kstew hands after she gave that guy a happy ending.
but shsss...its not really, its just cetaphil.
but at least its believable!
legend of the guardians was more believable than Kstew's sex scandal.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 02/25/2013 - 10:28pm.
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"fake boyfriend cedric diggory" hahahaha love it!
All off them can go suck on each others' taint, as MK would say. LMAO. Yes, that "SCANDAL" was a complete disaster!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Mon, 02/25/2013 - 10:24pm.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 02/25/2013 - 10:09pm.
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Yeah, KStew needs a firecracker up the butt to lighten up and smile a little.
And how do you know that was FAKE, Loops? lolol (M&M's and Skittles? Ruined! Ok, thanks, bye.)
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cuz she wasn't making a "O" face, she was staring blank. i know bitch has a blank stare permanently but if a guy is lickety spitty slappy flick tick flicking down there, she should be making an "O" face.
thats why it was all staged and fake. so she can break up with her fake boyfriend cedric diggory.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 02/25/2013 - 10:09pm.
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Yeah, KStew needs a firecracker up the butt to lighten up and smile a little.
And how do you know that was FAKE, Loops? lolol (M&M's and Skittles? Ruined! Ok, thanks, bye.)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I liked the dress but I'd have done the bottom differently, especially from the back.
And she kinda looks the same as always. Very pretty but itchy as hell! lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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despite all the glam products, expensive shit, army of makeup artists, designer clothes, jewelry and all that... she still looks like a raggedy ass ho who got fake cunnilingus from a guy, who was really eating M&Ms and skittles down there.
I think that overall, KStew is awkward and messy. Girl's got problems, that's for sure. But her face and body are so pretty.
When will this tweaker finally go away? She can't act, so stop giving her roles!
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"We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"
Submitted by dirtstarr on Mon, 02/25/2013 - 8:21pm.
Was watching with my sisiter-in-law last night. Her brother and his girlfriend are heavily into heroin and before that Oxycontin and she said this is no doubt the look of a junkie high on downers, just saying.
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That's what I thought, too. The dark circles and sallow complexion.
LOLOLOL!
Oh Joan Rivers got you beat MK. (With age comes experience)
She says KStew cut her foot on a ceiling fan.
Perfect poster child for "this is your brain on drugs."
Well, I'll bet the neighbors are just LOVIN' this!--Mama.
Was watching with my sisiter-in-law last night. Her brother and his girlfriend are heavily into heroin and before that Oxycontin and she said this is no doubt the look of a junkie high on downers, just saying.
Submitted by TrashyWilma on Mon, 02/25/2013 - 4:36pm.
That doesn't explain why Ferret-face is there, if bad actresses don't get to go to the Oscars. It's hard to imagine an actress worse than her.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Well she and her movie are Razzie winners:
http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/razzies/24597/the-razzies-2013-full-list...
She should just stop going to these things because obviously she hates it.
I can't wait for her E! Hollywood special "Where are they now?"
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
I see an addict circling the Blohan drain.
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Fair is foul and foul is fair..
Oh sweet jesus I hate that rat-faced bitch with a passion. She has a face made for punching. She is so fucking beyond smug. I wish Liberty would slap her senseless.
She just doesn't look like she belongs at the Oscars. Kind of like Barack Obama at a Mensa meeting.
I wish this twat would take her 35m and disappear. For good. Ungrateful sloth.
The truth is...I jumped her chola-style right before the Oscars. Don't tell anyone, kay?
Submitted by miz cynical on Mon, 02/25/2013 - 2:40pm.
I agree that if she hates the awards this much that she shouldn't have participated. Other actresses from that shit show movie would've been chomping at the bit to take her place. Isn't Ashley Greene in that movie? Isn't she more attractive? They should've let her present. I think that the movie comes out on DVD this week & the studio people probably thought that this would help to promote the movie some more. No.
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Nobody gives a shit about Ashley Greene. She's doomed to make a few Lifetime movies if she's lucky.
Sorry. She's really just a Baaaaaad actress.
Liberty Ross looks like Jar Jar Binks.
stoney baloney
LMAO Hekki I think you just described all the WAGS in Cherry Creek and in the Tech Center neighborhoods. Is there some manual in which they all follow to dress like clones?
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What was Pimp Mama Kris going to say? That Daniel Craig worked to get the career he has while the Kardashians' fame was handed to them on a glove that didn't fit?--MK
Hey hey hey! :-D I live in Englewood a street down from Cherry Hills--I'm a WAG in training!!! :-D
Well, I'll bet the neighbors are just LOVIN' this!--Mama.
now that this cunt's stupid cash cow is done, she'll be disappearing soon enough. She'll be begging for the exposure she sneers at now once no one gives two shits for her.
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What was Pimp Mama Kris going to say? That Daniel Craig worked to get the career he has while the Kardashians' fame was handed to them on a glove that didn't fit?--MK
Submitted by Event Horizon on Mon, 02/25/2013 - 2:10pm.
Off topic but have you guys seen that photo of Brit with brown hair? She looks absolutely gorgeous! On par with her early 00' days but much more mature and age appropriate...
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I just Googled the pic(s) of Britney you guys are talking about, and WOW! She does look gorgeous. That hair color is absolutely beautiful on her, and she just looks present and healthy and so so much better.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 02/25/2013 - 2:07pm.
"I do not see how Dan Rad is seen as a handsome dude, he's what 20 something and he's working on a double chin?"
I'm glad someone else mentioned it, he REALLY does not make an attractive grownup.
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"More cunnilingus has been performed to Baker Street than any other song in history." (some anonymous online mope)
Freak muff-diving accident.
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Walking on a Dream
Don't pay much attention to KS. She got her pussy eaten in a car by a married man, so no,
I am not a fan.
I'm not a fan of this dress either.
Hopefully she pissed off enough of The Powers That BE being completely shitfaced on stage that she they'll ice her out and we won't have to look at her pissing, annoying mug for too much longer.
looks stoned as hell
I would have paid lots and lots of American dollars to the person who would have kicked that crutch out from under her.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 02/25/2013 - 2:10pm.
I'm of two minds about Kristen, because I GET that it's uncomfortable to wear dresses like that, and that crowd IS a bunch of phoneys.
But I feel like as long as you're going to participate and take the money, you play along. And if you're really a REBEL, you do a Whoopi or HBC and wear exactly what you want. Wear a black leather dress and motorcycle boots or Chuck Taylors.
It looks bratty to show up in a beautiful fluffy dress and act like that.
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Yeah, generally I agree with that.
But... that makes me think of Helena Bonham Carter in that Les Miserables musical number last night. I know everyone around here loves HBC, but I just thought it was so fucking stupid that she had to pull off her Victorian street sweeper look when EVERYONE else in that crowd of people looked polished. It's not like it's even an "I just threw this together" look. As if that horrible tumbleweed hair doesn't take a lot of effort.
Yeah, that affected angry skank is old.
...and I'm pretty sure Meryl Streep pulled out a wedgie as she took the stage. *Stood on her dress* my ass!
I agree that if she hates the awards this much that she shouldn't have participated. Other actresses from that shit show movie would've been chomping at the bit to take her place. Isn't Ashley Greene in that movie? Isn't she more attractive? They should've let her present. I think that the movie comes out on DVD this week & the studio people probably thought that this would help to promote the movie some more. No.
What about Squinty? How gonzo-ed was she?! She couldn't even read the winner without Queen Latifah stepping in and saving the day.
Double post. Sorry.
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 02/25/2013 - 2:05pm.
And the Dean and Deluca coffee cups because Starbucks is so yesterday.
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Hah! They aren't that progressive yet here. They'll just run your ass over as they are pulling out of Dunkin Donuts.
It would have been nice if she had combed her hair at some point in the evening.
More importantly, I want some of what Renée Zellweger was on.
It would have been nice if she had combed her hair at some point in the evening.
More importantly, I want some of what Renée Zellweger was on.