Open Oscars Post: Hosted By The Demure Flower That Is Brandi Glanville
I'm hoping you have already put your TV in the bathroom and filled your tub with the sweet nectar of choice, because it's going to be a loooooooong night. Just get into that tub and drink until this mess is over. Deadline says that it could go way over and hit the 4 hour mark. If Anne Hathaway wins (which she will), the show is going to last a few days, because she's never going to leave the stage. They can turn the dogs on drop an anvil on her head, but she's not going anywhere. She's going to tie two 20 ton weights to her ankles and not move. Her speech is going to last longer than the movie she was in.
Anyway, this is your open post for the Oscars and I'm going to dip in every now and again to dribble out my drunken thoughts. I was going to say that we should come up with a drinking game, but we should probably just drink continuously, because that's the only way we'll be able to deal with Anne Hathaway's speech.
And here's my already best dressed of the night Brandi Glanville. Brandi is there as ABC's fashion correspondent, which totally makes sense. Because a demure flower who wears a dress that crushes her plastic vein balls IS a fashion authority.
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Yay!
Wow, did not expect Ang Lee to get this. Huh.
Michael Douglas makes me stabby. You know he's a crazy ass perv.
I had to decompress from this shit with some old school Ben Affleck and Mango:
http://www.metatube.com/en/videos/6623/Ben-Affleck-Mango/
Ah, Hollywood royalty. Jane looks better than K Stew. OK, youngsters, THIS is how you do plastic surgery. Tastefully. Without looking like a halloween plastic horror mask.
MK you are grossing me out. I hate feet!!!!!!!!!
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
Damn, Jane Fonda needs to give Streisand her old work out VHSs.
Oy, they rolled out two cadavers for this one
Submitted by Hekki on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 11:18pm.
I'm gonna take up for idiots drive me loco.
If KStew wants to show up and be a presenter, she should fucking brush her hair and stow the attitude. Or she can politely decline if she thinks it's a bunch of phony bullshit. No one put a gun to her head and forced her to be there.
I disdain organized religion, but when I CHOOSE to enter a house of worship, I don't roll my eyes at the sermon and refuse to bow my head or stand/sit/kneel when everyone else does. It's just respectful and polite.
My two cents on HER.
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I was having a similar thought before I read this. They showed D. Washington sitting there. Dude has to know all the pub has been for DDL this year but still he's there representing, being a "company" man. I don't get these young fuckers, if they don't like the business why the hell stay in it? Biting the fucking hand that feeds them. smdh
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgQ-QrCFMjs
Is Jane Fonda wearing a Raquel Welch Collection wig? If so, it IS it.
Submitted by Hotmami on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 11:22pm.
Did they put Michael Clarke Duncan in the Memoriam portion?
yes
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Werk it Jane!
These thin bitches...*books colonic*
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Traitor! trollolololololol XD
Jaysus Jane Fonda looks fab.
Submitted by Hotmami on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 11:22pm.
Did they put Michael Clarke Duncan in the Memoriam portion?
Yes, they did.
I thought Jane Fonda was dead. I really did.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
MK, no no no, that shit smells bad. Get out of my head, lalalala
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Hotmami on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 11:22pm.
Did they put Michael Clarke Duncan in the Memoriam portion?
Yep.
HotMami, Yes they did.
Submitted by idiots drive me loco on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 11:20pm.
Agreed. Boogie Nights is one of the best screenplays ever written IMO.
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"You wait. They gonna get everybody on twitter, facebook, doing everythin' online and then they gonna pull the PLUG and we all gonna be FUCKED!"
Submitted by moonmaid on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 11:19pm.
I just don't get Quentin Tarentino. He always looks like a mess, his films are ultra violent and he seems whacked out on crack ALL THE TIME!!!
"Are you saying those are bad things?"
fuck off,
Quentin
/if QT had really said that there would have been approximately 5 more n-words and 6 more words but you get the drift
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Cannot stand Seth and his smug face.
Submitted by Hotmami on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 11:22pm.
Yes :(
A lot I feel like. Too much singing not enough awards.
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
WithinReason, the toe jam visuals ALONE.
Jekki - right. Like when Franco acted as though he was above it all for the Oscars a few yrs back. I'm sure some of the lesser start of Twilight would've jumped at the chance to prsent if Kristen declined.
This circle jerk is running long and Seth McF is increasingly annoying.
Saw some pics of QT shirtless on a yacht a while back...CANNOT BE UNSEEN it's all I see when I look at him now *shudders* *cleanses eyes with pics of Charlize*
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Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing. I see him starring at me, I see what he wants be
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>:- (
Mr. Mercury ♥
Quentin Tarantino's best work still was when he was one of the Elvis impersonators Rose Nyland accidentally invited to Sophia's wedding by mistake.
Did they put Michael Clarke Duncan in the Memoriam portion?
How many awards are left? ( not watching)
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Every saint has a past and
Every sinner has a future
QT, is getting all the reporters to take their shoes off right about now, lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Haha, I knew he wasn't done.
Submitted by MeowMeow on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 11:20pm.
I think Seth got bored with this about 1.5 hours ago. It shows.
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He's not the only one. When they are suppose to wrap this shit up?
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"you chickens need to go back to the coup, you need to lay some fucking eggs and do your fucking job, you scrambled ass bitch!"-Shane Dawson
I LOVE the old Oscar winning sound tracks in the background. Gone with the Wind!!!
I love big chins and I wanna do things with qwintin's.
I hate fake tits.
I think Seth got bored with this about 1.5 hours ago. It shows.
Thought I'd love Seth. Hate. Him.
chrischris
This Argo guy looks like the love child of Fraziers brother and Sean Michael Scott.
Peace out? Is somebody going to say "word to your mother"?
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by Michael K on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 11:17pm.
Argo writer dude was doing smack in the bathroom with KStew.
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So even the writers have to do that shit?
Has today's show made anyone else want to hit the gym harder and eat cleaner? So many very thin people...
Submitted by Michael K on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 11:19pm.
LOL! so gross.
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
FML...that no talent hack has yet to have an original idea, and he wins best screenplay??? Paul Thomas Anderson and Wes Anderson are so talented, but never get the love....
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What was Pimp Mama Kris going to say? That Daniel Craig worked to get the career he has while the Kardashians' fame was handed to them on a glove that didn't fit?--MK
Great, Mr. ToeFuck gets to speechify. Kerry Washington's lost too much weight, she's got the big head syndrome now.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgQ-QrCFMjs
MK..please explain why he's standing there.. Quentin.. You drunk dude...
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR
tarantino. speaking of who's drunk and self-righteous on stage ...
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Quentin don't lecture, is he high? Congrats to him.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
QT has an unfortunate voice.
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"you chickens need to go back to the coup, you need to lay some fucking eggs and do your fucking job, you scrambled ass bitch!"-Shane Dawson
Crazy , ugly Quentin .
Maybe you're jammin on some Oikos miz cynical?