Open Oscars Post: Hosted By The Demure Flower That Is Brandi Glanville
I'm hoping you have already put your TV in the bathroom and filled your tub with the sweet nectar of choice, because it's going to be a loooooooong night. Just get into that tub and drink until this mess is over. Deadline says that it could go way over and hit the 4 hour mark. If Anne Hathaway wins (which she will), the show is going to last a few days, because she's never going to leave the stage. They can turn the dogs on drop an anvil on her head, but she's not going anywhere. She's going to tie two 20 ton weights to her ankles and not move. Her speech is going to last longer than the movie she was in.
Anyway, this is your open post for the Oscars and I'm going to dip in every now and again to dribble out my drunken thoughts. I was going to say that we should come up with a drinking game, but we should probably just drink continuously, because that's the only way we'll be able to deal with Anne Hathaway's speech.
And here's my already best dressed of the night Brandi Glanville. Brandi is there as ABC's fashion correspondent, which totally makes sense. Because a demure flower who wears a dress that crushes her plastic vein balls IS a fashion authority.
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Alright Nazi Titanic is on!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by que cochina on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 11:49pm.
JLo is crying now about the one that got away while she tucks her troll in his cama!!!
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Ha ha ha - yes, one's got talent, looks, and now another Oscar, while the other has...has....has..
The munchking from hell *turning the channel*
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by miz cynical on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 11:52pm.
Hmm...what did Affleck mean by 'work on the marriage'?
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I think we all know what that meant, Ben can't keep it in his pants!
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"If I can't be my own, i'd feel better dead"- Nutshell
Congrats to Ben... Still love me some Beasts...
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR
Submitted by SGVpea on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 11:51pm.
Haha cocoebert. I love The Birdcage.
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Heh, I totally called it!
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0381416/
OMG, MK you were serious, holy shit!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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always think of O'Bannion getting paint poured on his head in Dazed and Confused when i see Affleck. Glad his movie won though.
Was Ben really up there really talking about working on his marriage? What he said about Jen couldn't have been less romantic. Looks like Hugh Jackman needs to give a bitch lessons on how to gush over his wife.
Submitted by cocoebert on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 11:48pm.
Okay, this is going to out me as a huge fag hag, but is that the paparazzo from The Birdcage?!!!
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I'm not sure what this outs me as, but he's the sister's boyfriend from License to Drive. "Must we take your mother's imperious gas guzzler?"
OMG, I love Affleck, he should have been at least nominated for best director, even if he wasnt going to win, to see him so chocked up, how endearing.
Submitted by que cochina on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 11:49pm.
JLo is crying now about the one that got away while she tucks her troll in his cama!!!
MWAHAHAHA
STOP IT. STOP IT. Ben's speech was SO fucking painful. Nothing screams true love like announcing that MARRIAGE IS WORK instead of just saying thanks to your wife
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Formerly known as kokoskitten
Y'all should check out Jimmy Kimmel's after oscar show. He usually does some damn funny spoofs and I always miss them and have to catch them online. So now this year he probably won't be funny.
And congrats to Ben. Hold grudges Ben, it's worked for Charlize.
And thank god Seth is done. No more hosting for him.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgQ-QrCFMjs
Hmm...what did Affleck mean by 'work on the marriage'?
Ben dedicated his oscar to his children, that's cute.
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"If I can't be my own, i'd feel better dead"- Nutshell
@Foxxy - no we had an Oscar pool at work that wasn't even working so I didn't get to submit my picks!
Damn, that dude has enough baggage under neath his eyes to complete a luggage set....and what the fuck, is Ben Affleck having a breakdown on stage???
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"you chickens need to go back to the coup, you need to lay some fucking eggs and do your fucking job, you scrambled ass bitch!"-Shane Dawson
Aww guess the faithful husband and father act paid off... Ok I'm being cunty but still...
The movie was good and solid
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Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing. I see him starring at me, I see what he wants be
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>:- (
Mr. Mercury ♥
I love how Clooney's like, "I'm out, bitches".
Great speech Ben! Yay!
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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK
Ben's speech was cute. I'm glad Argo won.
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"We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"
Ben Affleck is pretty adorable. And can talk very quickly! And props to him for giving his wife big props. He made her cry, and that's a neat thing.
Haha cocoebert. I love The Birdcage.
Babbling, even better than QT. *Thank Damon, thank Damon.*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Omg ben lolol... Love this dude
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
ben hold it together man!!
Hekki, I fucking BOMBED.
Jack Nicholson is a hot mess but I love him.
Michelle looks pretty.
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
Is Benny on speed?
Submitted by miz cynical on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 11:47pm.
Wow. Didn't anticipate Argo as the winner!
Intrade.com is always right with the winners, no surprises.
So how did MK do with his picks? *runs off to tally*
I thought FLOTUS' appearance meant that Lincoln would win.
I am happy for Affleck...after that movie about the original Superman I thought he was done.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
I'm happy for Ben.. Good on him.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
I would so hit it with George Clooney -- I feel something getting moist!
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"Two eyes, two eyebrows."
Submitted by skabazzle on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 11:47pm.
Woo called the last three!
you sure did!! i was going to read back to figure out who did that!! congrats - hope you won $$ somewhere ;-)
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
JLo is crying now about the one that got away while she tucks her troll in his cama!!!
That dude ain't slept in 14 years.
Having FLOTUS hand out the Oscar for Argo, must mean the Academy knows they FU by not nominating Afleck...lol
And now Chenoweth is going to sing. I am not drunk enough for the shit that's about to hit my ears.
so am I one of the three people who actually love these award shows who doesn't work in Hollywood?
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What was Pimp Mama Kris going to say? That Daniel Craig worked to get the career he has while the Kardashians' fame was handed to them on a glove that didn't fit?--MK
Argo. Well isn't that nice? Wonder how Ben Ahhfuck feels?
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"You wait. They gonna get everybody on twitter, facebook, doing everythin' online and then they gonna pull the PLUG and we all gonna be FUCKED!"
Submitted by Mayo: "Bradley Cooper was right there, why didn't he help JLaw? What a douche."
She didn't have a penis about to slide into his ass.
I will FOREVER defend and respect Hugh Jackman for being a class act and a true gentleman.
Okay, this is going to out me as a huge fag hag, but is that the paparazzo from The Birdcage?!!!
Yay Ben! All those photo ops of you walking your kids weren't for nothing!
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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK
Well, it looks like Clooney got himself and Affleck the Oscar.
YAY!!! ARGO!!!
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I've had to work much harder than this
For something I want don't try to resist me
Submitted by boomsy on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 11:46pm.
What was the point of that intro by Michelle Obama? I thought they were on a time limit...
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for real, i'm tired
IN YOUR FACE LES MISERABLE'!
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"you chickens need to go back to the coup, you need to lay some fucking eggs and do your fucking job, you scrambled ass bitch!"-Shane Dawson