At Least Somebody Honored The Texas T-Rex's Ass Cheeks
The Independent Spirit Awards did what the Oscars failed to do: give respect to Matthew McConaughey's rock hard ass cutlets. At yesterday's Independent Spirit Awards in Santa Monica, the Texas T-Rex won Best Supporting Actor for popping his bulge in a Speedo and throwing his charbroiled nalgas up in the air in Magic Mike. While accepting his award Matthew, who is still looking a lollipop-headed giraffe, let every actor know that if they want to win an Independent Spirit Award next year, they have to take all them panties off:
"I had to take my pants off to win a trophy, I had to drop trou to win an award. Fuck yeah!"
Sadly, the Independent Spirit Awards didn't honor the OTHER great performance of the year: Nicole Kidman's piss hole for letting out a Botox-infused pee stream on Zac Efron's body in The Paperboy.
The reboot of Jerry Maguire called Silver Linings Playbook pretty much swept that shit last night and picked up a bunch of trophies. Here's the list of winners:
Best Feature - Silver Linings Playbook
Best First Feature - Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being A Wallflower
Best Supporting Male Performance - The Texas T-Rex, Magic Mike
Best Supporting Female Performance - Helen Hunt, The Sessions
Best International Film - Amour
Best Female Lead Performance - Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Best Male Lead Performance - John Hawkes, Battery Dying
Best Screenplay - David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook
Best Cinematography - Ben Richardson, Beasts of the Southern Wild
Best Director - David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook
Best Documentary - The Invisible War
And here's a few pictures for you to put your eyes on. In order: Texas T-Rex with Camila Alves, Bradley Cooper (and yes, I stared at his baggy camel toe for at least an hour straight), Bryan Cranston, Laura Dern, Salma Hayek with her billionaire husband, Helen Hunt, Jennifer Lawrence, the new Jodie Foster, Aubrey Plaza, DanRad, new daddy Jeremy Renner (who let everyone know that the musky scent was coming from his crotch), Zoe Saldana, Andy Samberg with Joanna Newsom, the new Annie and Kerry Washington.
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Submitted by mike on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 4:25pm.
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 4:19pm.
All those statements are true, especially the last. :)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I am smarted dat way.
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Submitted by mike on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 4:05pm.
What's wrong with Renner's eyes? Is he wearing makeup?
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Yes, I refer you to my earlier post:
"Jeremy Renner needs to quit it with the Maybelline."
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 4:19pm.
All those statements are true, especially the last. :)
Submitted by Hotmami on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 4:12pm.
Jennifer looks like she's lost a fair amount of weight...and that is not a compliment.
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That's how it works. New actress on the scene that's not rail thin and then yammers on endlessly in interviews on how she's considered "fat" by Hwood standards and how she won't change.....
Then these bitches get a taste of real fame/a-list status and the pounds come flying off.
It's the same fucking story every time. The only person that might not change is Lena Dunham as being chunky is part of her thing....though it might change if she expands outside of her typecast/GIRLS character.
Poor Helen hardly has any hair left. She needs a good front lace (Beyoncé could hook her up). Also, she really should gain a few pounds.
Submitted by mike on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 4:15pm.
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 4:07pm.
Submitted by mike on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 4:04pm.
...I was still suffering from this week's colossal hangover...
^^^^^^^^^^
Do tell.
I drank too much on Wednesday night, and I was miserable all day Thursday and even into Friday. Just that "floaty" feeling and a headache (I'm not a vomit-er). For reasons I can't explain I went into the office both days.
This is the first hangover I've had in over a year. I don't understand why it occurred, either, as I wasn't drinking on an empty stomach, and I'd consumed that much alcohol in the past with no ill effects.
^^^^^^^^^^^
Well, you're almost 40 now, you know. Alcohol doesn't have the same effect.
*snicker*
You went in because you didn't want to smoke two days you could use to have fun at a later date.
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Also doesn't it go against the whole point of the Independent Spirit awards when a Weinsten backed film staring past Oscar winners and nominees who regularly receive multi-million dollar pay-days win everything?
@Dirk, Yeah, I hope he doesn't have any long term issues with that weight loss. He does not look healthy to me at all. Cute dimple.
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 4:07pm.
Submitted by mike on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 4:04pm.
...I was still suffering from this week's colossal hangover...
^^^^^^^^^^
Do tell.
I drank too much on Wednesday night, and I was miserable all day Thursday and even into Friday. Just that "floaty" feeling and a headache (I'm not a vomit-er). For reasons I can't explain I went into the office both days.
This is the first hangover I've had in over a year. I don't understand why it occurred, either, as I wasn't drinking on an empty stomach, and I'd consumed that much alcohol in the past with no ill effects.
Why does Bradley ALWAYS looks greasy? Did he fall into a vat of Crisco?
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Bradley Derper honestly looks like he could be a flaming asshole IRL.
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Jennifer looks like she's lost a fair amount of weight...and that is not a compliment.
Zoe Saldana seems really smug and up her own ass.
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Every saint has a past and
Every sinner has a future
I really wish Mary Elizabeth Winstead would have one, this is the only award she was nominated for and she was by far the best actress of the year. Her performance in Smashed was outstanding.
Submitted by mike on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 4:04pm.
...I was still suffering from this week's colossal hangover...
^^^^^^^^^^
Do tell.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Camilla's hair looks incredible.
Laura Dern's outfit, if you could call it that, looks like the haute couteur 5 year old kids wear when rummaging through mom's dress up bin.
It's exceedingly hard to make Kerry Washington look bad, but the shoes are overkill.
Ellen Page annoys me for some reason. Maybe it's because I hated Juno. If I see her in something else where she doesn't play the precious overintelligent hipster, I might change my mind.
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A Lannister always pays his debts.
Helen Hunt is a good actress but I feel she should have lost to Judi Dench that year.
Judi Dench's perforance in Mrs. Brown is probably my favorite female perforance---ever.
What's wrong with Renner's eyes? Is he wearing makeup?
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 4:00pm.
Yep.
It sounded cheesy, but it had good reviews on Netflix, so I bumped it to the top of my queue.
Now that I think of it, though, I was still suffering from this week's colossal hangover when I tampered with my queue.
Helen Hunt looks sickly. She kind of fell off the face of the earth for a while there. Not that I was complaining as she was severely overexposed. I just never got the hype about her even back in the days of that shitty sitcom she was in. Matthew looks orange and waxy and I swear that wife of his looks miserable (but gorgeous in that color).
Submitted by mike on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 3:48pm.
I attempted to watch The Perks of Being a Wallflower last night, but it sucked. Formulaic and the kid from There's Something Wrong With Kevin (or whatever that movie was called) was chewing the scenery like crazy.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Were you sober?
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A sudden weight loss/gain can tax the heart; that's why he's doing it slowly.
Hold up. AnnE didn't win for supporting actress?
I say recount.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Sun, 02/24/2013 - 3:47pm.
Jeremy Renner...hmmmmmmm. *gaydar goes off*
Glad you said it cause I was thinking the same thing.
I thought David O Russell had gone of the deep end when he was accused of fondling that tranny. I KNEW he had when it was reported that he wanted to use Bradley Cooper again for another movie..
I attempted to watch The Perks of Being a Wallflower last night, but it sucked. Formulaic and the kid from There's Something Wrong With Kevin (or whatever that movie was called) was chewing the scenery like crazy.
Jeremy Renner...hmmmmmmm. *gaydar goes off*
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Magic Mike sucked, IMO. And I thought Maconagay was just playing himself, some laid-back stoner who enjoys getting nekkid.
Salma Hayek is so freaking beautiful. I hope and pray I can manage to still be pretty in my 40s like that.
Is Helen Hunt a gayelle? I liked "The Sessions" though, I admit.
I thought Zoe Saldana looked clean and pretty, until I saw that fugly tattoo on her foot. I'm not into tattoos that look like gangrene.
Jeremy Renner...um, yeah, keep saying you're straight, dude.
Everything about Bradley Cooper is a mess.
What in color clash hell is B-Coop wearing???
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Aren't these people embarrassed by all these award things?
I work at a hospital where people literally save people's lives on the daily...even we don't give out awards 15-25 times per year. What these people do is unimportant and more like an overpaid hobby. It's bullshit.
And I'll give Jennifer Lawrence a big thumbs down on shoe/outfit/hair/makeup choice. Why don't her shoes fit?
"the new Annie"
Is adorable!
God, Laura Dern, WTF? If the main selling point of your outfit is that your shoes and bra match, then put on something else.
Jeremy Renner needs to quit it with the Maybelline.
Independent Spirit Awards? In Santa Monica??? Ohhhhhhh, hardcore. Hollywood is getting to the point where they have an awards ceremony for who has the most asswarts from dating Parisite Hilton.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
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