Oscar Pistorius Is Free On Bail

February 22, 2013 / Posted by:

Oscar Pistorius is free to shoot up more intruders today after Magistrate Desmond Nair (Side note: Rachel Dratch is right. Every name involved in this case came from the mind of Suzanne Collins.) released him on bail, because the judge doesn’t think he’s a flight risk. I see what you did there, Magistrate Nair.

After four days of hearing from Oscar’s defense and the prosecution, the judge spent two hours today breaking down all of the evidence. Oscar’s side of the story is that he thought his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp was a thief hiding out in the water closet so he shot through the door and “accidentally” killed her. My brain burped up a whole lot of question marks when I read Oscar’s side of the story. How could he not know that Reeva wasn’t in the bed? Why didn’t she answer when he shouted at the bathroom door? If Oscar is so paranoid about getting robbed, why did he sleep with the sliding door open and was his security system on at time (I’m guessing not since the sliding door was open)?

Oscar didn’t answer the sliding door question, but he did say that it was really dark in the bedroom and he doesn’t know why Reeva didn’t shout back at him.

The prosecution told the judge that they believe he planned to kill Reeva when she locked herself in the bathroom. Oscar’s defense said that they will fight the premeditated murder charge.

The New York Times says that Magistrate Desmond Nair spent nearly 2 hours farting at the mouth about the history of bail and then he said that he doesn’t think Oscar is going to get on the next plane to Switzerland, because life as a fugitive with no legs IS HARD! Here’s a piece of what he said:

But Magistrate Nair seemed skeptical on Friday about the risk of flight by Mr. Pistorius. “What kind of life would he lead, a person who has to use prostheses, if he has to flee” and found himself “ducking and diving every day” on artificial limbs, the magistrate asked. “His international career would be over in any event.”

“A life not in prison,” Mr. Nel replied, comparing Mr. Pistorius to the WikiLeaks founder, Julian Assange, who has taken refuge in the Ecuadorean Embassy in London, despite his “famous face.”

After going on and on about nothing, Magistrate Nair set bail at 1 million rand ($112,000) and confiscated Oscar’s passport. The next hearing is on June 4th.

Also, a detective in the case stepped down (or was thrown off the case) after the media found out that he’s facing charges for attempted murder.

Does Oscar own a white Bronco, because we all know how this is going to play out. Oscar will be found not-guilty (“If the legs don’t fit, you must acquit!“), then he’s going to write a book called “If I Did It” and then his defense lawyer’s daughters will star in a reality show. We’ve all seen this movie before!

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