Open Post: Hosted By A Visual Appetite Suppressant

February 22, 2013 / Posted by:

No, this isn’t a picture of a $5 Mufasa ceramic figurine blowing hot air into a used up colostomy bag. In case you couldn’t tell from the scent of vinegar, decaying meat, charred plastic and cat piss blowing off your screen, this is The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ Adrienne Maloof sticking her tongue in Mario Lopez’s mouth at a charity event in L.A. last night. The charity event wasn’t to benefit people who suffer from severe chronic constipation and needed a visual laxative to make them explosively barf  through their butts. TMZ says Adrienne paid $25,000 to kiss AC Slater and all the money is going to a 20-year-old man named Zeke who recently had heart plant surgery.

Adrienne’s toy Sean Stewart, Mario’s knocked up wife, Maria Menounos and human dildo Joe Francis all watched as the tattered lioness of Beverly Hills tongue kissed on AC Slater at the Have A Heart Auction in L.A. There wasn’t a dry throat in the house. Adrienne wasn’t the only one who pulled out her credit card to put her lips on an AC Slater’s mouth. A pink-haired lady also sucked on Mario’s face and although this hasn’t been confirmed, I heard that he paid $75,000 of his own money to make out with a mirror.

The real winner in all of this is Zeke. It wasn’t Adrienne, because she kissed on a dude who probably sucks at kissing unless he’s kissing his own picture. And it wasn’t Mario, because he had to kiss on a trick who looks like a raggedy, tragic and sad lion at an underfunded inner city zoo.

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