From The WHA? Files: Megan Fox And Michael Bay Are Reuniting For The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie (UPDATE)
On Michael Bay's driveway sits his freshly washed Ferrari and on Michael Bay's laptop lives a video file of Megan Fox washing his Ferrari AGAIN! Because Michael Bay announced on his website today that Megan Fox will star in a movie that he's producing. In case the memory box in your brain deleted this highly important information (which is 100% possible), Megan was fired from the Transformers movies, called Michael Bay a regular Hitler and said that working with him was about as wonderful as butt fucking herself with a porcupine that likes to bite. Michael Bay pretty much returned that sentiment and the crew of Transformers had a few (or a thousand) words for her. But I guess they sucked and made up, because Michael Bay cast her in the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie and he announced the news like this:
TMNT: We Are Bringing Megan Fox Back Into The Family
The Family? So I guess that means Michael Bay is the father and you know he makes everybody call him daddy in a high-pitched voice.
Well, I guess the need to put Botox on the table will make you forget that you hate a douche. Get that check, Megan, I guess. Michael Bay didn't say who Megan Fox is playing, but it's kind of obvious that she's going to be April O'Neill, which confirms that this movie is going to be a grade A mess and should only be watched while under the influence of some mind-altering shit.
The only thing that will save this mess of a movie is if they get Vanilla Ice to recreate this masterpiece:
UPDATE: She's playing April O'Neill and that makes no sense. But hopefully they continue to make no sense and cast Courtney Stodden as Donatello.
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Why in the name of all things holy is this being remade/ruined? And what are they going to call it if the turtles aren't actually mutants? Teenage Ninja Aliens doesn't have the same ring to it. How is Splinter going to fit in w/out the 'ooze', is he an alien rat?
I hate to see Bay get his ego stroked (and I'm guessing Megan had to stroke more than that for this role), but after the public drama of getting fired/quitting/whatever for being loudmouthed and stupid, the mean girl in me is loving that she had to kiss his ass and beg for work.
Submitted by Get Serious on Fri, 02/22/2013 - 5:24am.
My sincere apologies to you, Get Serious. I tend to get bent out of shape about feminist issues. Mix in a few beers and I turn into a crashing, dogmatic bore. We may not agree about Ms. Fox but that's no excuse for my rudeness. Mea culpa, good sir.
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"More cunnilingus has been performed to Baker Street than any other song in history." (some anonymous online mope)
MEGAN FOX WAS NOT FIRED FROM TRANSFORMERS!!
she quit.
Spielberg even said Bay was lying! Why do people continue to ignore this fact?
** http://feministguidetohollywood.blogspot.com **
Is this supposed to be live-action with a bunch of CGI shit, or all animated? If it's live-action, Megan Fox as April O'Neil really doesn't make sense. I agree with the commenter who said Amy Adams would be a good choice. April always struck me as sweeter, badass when she needs to be. Megan Fox is just sex appeal, nothing more. But, that's what sells... *sigh*
Ugh that dizzy as* song and video.
36 Chambers (The Wu)
whats justin bieber, oh i mean vanilla ice...
I personally dont think that Courtney Stodden has the balls to play Donatello...however, her alter ego Courtina has
Go Ninja Go Ninja Go
Grrr, I meant Clutch Fucking Cargo, but you knew that.
He looks like Cluth Fucking Cargo
no, MK. courtney stodden is mondo gecko:
http://compare.ebay.com/like/281053171835?var=lv<yp=AllFixedPriceItemT...
doug hutchinson can play splinter.
*spits in general direction of Michael Bay*
**takes dramamine to recover from series of Michael Bay-edited fast cut scenes**
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
I know zero about Michael Bay's personal life. That aside, I like a lot of his movies. Yeah, 'stupid' movies I call them. I like to be entertained mostly when I watch a movie, not contemplate my life.
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We are all made of stars.
Co-sign, Bossy: I think BAG knows about it ;prolly doesn't like it, but he's been in the business since he was a kid. He's been there, done that.
Haha if they can't get Vanilla Ice, there's always Megan Fox's husband Brian Austin Green....
Love the Vanilla Ice clip!!
#get that money bitch
you go girl, crawl back into the clutches of the hollywood fame master who spanked you.
Teenage Mutant Ninja *BOOOOOOOOOOOM*
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What separates us from animals is that we don't use our tongues to clean our own genitals.
At first I was like "How is Megan Fox believable as a reporter?" but then I turned on KTLA and realized that it is pretty good casting because every reporter, weather girl and traffic girl in LA is a size 0 botoxed, highlighted plastic mess in a too tight mini dress
She is downright beautiful in this picture.
Glad my kid is past the Ninja Turtle stage.
I'd be going to this crappy movie.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 02/22/2013 - 7:26am.
Which one of the turtles is Shia LaDouche playing? Can we see his audition tape for that?
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He'll most likely be Casey Jones. The good news is his face will be covered by a hockey mask half the time and smashing things with a hockey stick might be therapeutic for him, you know, get all that adolescent rage out.
Submitted by dementa on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 11:45pm.
I feel unclean whenever I have to hear about Michael Bay or anyone who has worked with him lately.
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I feel the same way. the mere mention of his name now gives me the skeevies. worst thing is he's not the only "director" in hollywierd like that (yes director in quotes because he's really just a glorified, well i did say photographer, but actually asshole would be more apt)
Bossy, I think so. As for BAG I have no idea, I've always kind of figured that everyone in HOland cheats or sleeps their way ahead and it's a normal and accepted (if not acknowledged) thing.
There's always been something shady going on with these two.
I thought she was quitting Hollywood to have more babies. I guess that was too much to ask.
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A Lannister always pays his debts.
Do you guys think these two definitely did it at some point, particularly early on? Do you think Brian Austin Green knew, did he hate or support the idea? Just thinking out loud.
...and besides, it costs money to commission shitty tats on your body...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
I always thought Amy Adams would make a great April O'Neill. Alas, it will never come to be.
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What separates us from animals is that we don't use our tongues to clean our own genitals.
wow, she's luck as hell, when HW gives you a second chance you jump on it and say yes sir no sir. You have to become a star on your own and become a guaranteed cash cow before you can be an obnoxious bitch, she put the cart in front of the horse last time round
Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 02/22/2013 - 8:26am.
Hey, babies are expensive.
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Yup, and wasn't her hubby's show recently canceled?
Hey, babies are expensive.
i guess gifted blowjob skills must be lacking in other wannabe starlets if megan's been asked to come back to the fold...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
I was waiting for Kid n Play to make an appearance. *shots self*.
Not gonna lie, Vanilla Ice was pretty dope for his day.
Submitted by Anita Bidet on Fri, 02/22/2013 - 2:09am.
Who over the age of 12 would go see this crapfest? how about making movies based on good TV shows?
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I'm guessing they're counting on the nostalgia factor for those of us who watched the cartoon as kids.
Which one of the turtles is Shia LaDouche playing? Can we see his audition tape for that?
She's an annoying moll,go do another FHM cover and dazzle us with your speak in tongues shite...fkn scrubba..
Does it look like I've given up the meth?
Tevness.
It's rather funny her in TMNT. Look at her there. Reminds me of when Madeline Kahn appeared as an actress on a "Family" episode of Carol Burnett as Eunice's acting coach and said "Yes, I may have slipped since 'Catwomen From Mars'...."
I thought she was quitting acting to start her own child army? And wouldn't anyone be embarrassed to be in TMNT? How do you point to that as a career achievement?
What's so "WHA" about it? If he meant to deliberately humiliate her in the public I can't think of a better way that publicizing "We've found a project for her - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!"
Submitted by Ecce Homo on Fri, 02/22/2013 - 1:55am.
Either you really must be even gayer than I am if you can't differentiate between two very dissimilar women, or else you're in the paid employ of monsieurs Bay, Spielberg, Polanski,or Woody Allen (or possibly Louis B. Mayer, Jack Warner or Harry Cohn).
Take your pick, either way you're still an idiot.
Hilarious post. And completely nonsensical. Try engaging your brain next time before you post; it'll be a lot less embarrassing for you later on...
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
After the resplendent acting of Rosie-too-many-names in that last horrendous, tragedy of a Transformers movie, Megan will look like Meryl Streep. Get that money, honey! No talking to the press this time though!!! You know who and what you are dealing with from the start.
I've heard that BAG is a miser plus the blinds that seem like it is him to the effect that he orders her to do everything and she only goes out when he says it's okay, so I think he is making her do this for the big check$.
I was a nineties teen, so will likely see this when it comes out on video ....but certainly not interested enough to go to the theatre.
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Fri, 02/22/2013 - 2:34am.
That and she's dim.
Objectively spreaking, I can see that she's gorgeous, but her arrogance/smugness works as an extreme uglifier. Angelina Jolie has the same effect on me. Somehow they both repel me.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Who over the age of 12 would go see this crapfest? how about making movies based on good TV shows?
Submitted by Get Serious on Fri, 02/22/2013
Either you really must be even gayer than I am if you can't differentiate between two very dissimilar women, or else you're in the paid employ of monsieurs Bay, Spielberg, Polanski,or Woody Allen (or possibly Louis B. Mayer, Jack Warner or Harry Cohn).
Take your pick, either way you're still an idiot.
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"She looks like if you fuck with her she'd put a stiletto through your jugular and then charge you for the shoe repair. My kind of woman." Foxxy Brown
Like blowhan, she must be talented at blowjobs, because she's one of the shitiest actresses ever. EVER.
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Was there clamoring for a re-make of this cheese-fest?
Once he's done raping the Ninja Turtles, I bet he turns his loving attentions to He-Man. No 1980s memories shall be untainted.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
This is guaranteed to be a steaming pile of shit. I read on one of the nerd sites that Bay apparently can't even read his own title, because they're not going to be mutated turtles anymore, they're going to be aliens.
Her eyebrows were AWFUL. Thank god she realized this and fixed the situation.
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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
So this has all been one giant STUNT all along? And what's this about having her back in the Focker's circle of trust? What a bunch of BS. She's absolutely stunning on most days, it'd be a waste not to have her back. Just put in her contract that she cannot have any more botox/injectibles or she out again. *does peace sign, points fingers at own eyes, then at hers*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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