Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 21, 2013 / Posted by:

The Dizzy Doodler!

Writing about every first grader’s drug of choice, Mr. Sketch’s Scented Markers, the other day made me think about all the school supplies I obsessed over so I didn’t have to obsess about actual school work and my brain burped up the Dizzy Doodler! The Dizzy Doodler was exactly what it looks like. It was a vibrating pen that made squiggles. That’s it. Every time you used it, you felt like a strung out junkie with the shakes trying to sign his name on the methadone clinic sign-in sheet. It was the best. And while doing research for this highly important post, I came across something at Go Ask Alice that gave me a new appreciation for the Dizzy Doodler:

Alice,

Is there anything wrong with using a squiggle pen instead of a vibrator? I have been doing this for about four years now and it has done wonders! Am I weird?

Dear Reader,

No, you’re not weird — if it’s done wonders for you, you’re lucky. Assuming that your squiggle pen is one of those battery-operated devices that writes wildly, as long as you’re not making to-do lists on your nipples, clitoris, or penis, your substitute vibrator is probably okay. If one is going to put something in any body opening, the golden rules are: sharp, breakable, and hard-to-hold-on-to objects can be problematic, washing the gadget with warm water and soap after every use is generally a good idea, and pain is a good indicator to slow down, pull out, and/or go back to the drawing board.

If you stick it in your ass, you can put the doody in the Dizzy Dooler. And since when is it wrong to make to-do lists on your nipples?!

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