Friday, February 22nd 2013
The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For February 21st!
Supermarket Sweep just wasn't as much fun with Howie Mandel hosting. - perky
Runners-up:
The homeless of Chernobyl take every precaution. - ImpertinentVixen
Man, the tough economy is even affecting Storm Shadow. - TFBuckFutter
No need for panic, New Yorkers! The Health Authority says the street hot dog venders just have to wear that only when they see Ke$ha coming. - TexnDoc
via WOW Report
• 
The plot for the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie: "Shredder Finds a Wife"
My cart runneth over!! ::sniff:: Heeeey snowy, Miss C, Ron-DAY, VERRRRN, Bully, IV, and SweatyAss!! All my faves :-D
Superb, all of the winners!!
LOL @ Perky's.
YAY PERKY my girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Sneezes*
Another all star cast of hookers!!!!!!!!!!
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
Congrats eerrybuddy! Good ones!!!
HAHA! That one actually did deserve the win!
Yay perky! Great RU's too. Congrats everybody!
"...sometimes sucking on the same dick gets real boring." - MK's eloquent cousin
Congrats to perky♥, IV♥, TBF and LOL at TD's! Funny captions everyone!
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
Jessica Simpson's assistant, pictured here, has filed for disability for injuries received while delivering her Weight Watches meals.
Nuclear attack survival kit for the average American:
1. Weather protection guaranteed to last a decade
2. Army food and water supply for 10 months
3. A FUCKING SHOPPING CART BECAUSE YOU DAMN TOWEL HEADS CAN'T TAKE AWAY MY RIGHT TO SHOP, OK???
"What? I'm just wearing this heat proof suit in case I run into PHG"
MK
"Argazi, you take one for the team.
Feluja, you get the 25 cents back from the cart rental - after the dust settles!"
"Attention Yemen Walmart shoppers - in aisle 7 we have a special on pirated copies of 'A Good Day to Die Hard'."
Just another Colon Cleanse Monday in the life of Gwyneth Paltrow's underpaid Personal Assistant.
"Nice to see you again, Mr. Bin Laden."
(The CIA discounts that the Pakistani Walmart greeter's intelligence had anything to do with the final outcome - other than to say - he did save 2$ on his DVD purchase of 'Armageddon'.)
Grocery shopping for Apple Blythe Alison Martin and Moses Bruce Anthony Martin can be dangerous. They can only sustain themselves by feasting on the blood of dying unicorns, which is, unfortunately, radioactive. That's why I recommend this très stylish lead-lined shopping uniform from J Crew for all of my friend's nannies.
-Goop
When John Travolta cruises the Home Depot, "clean up in Aisle 6" can only mean one thing.
Walmart greeter to a new customer in Yemen: "Blow me!"
For public safety, the TSA now requires all Kardashian luggage to be transported in full hazmat.
Jay-Z finally feces accusations that he doesn't change diapers!
Tim found some days at Project Runway more fun than others.
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR
Caca for Artflop.
+++++++++++++++++++
Exercising pointless futility.
Walmart 2020: The Terrorist express lane checkout.
("We like falling prices too")
The Lindsay Lohan Deluxe Protection Kit - the Master Snatcher and her germs, odors, and lingering coke dust are impenetrable in this state of the art suit and cart. With this, you can guarantee your sea jasper and latest boutique purchases are safe.
The Ninja Grocer is now on call for all pregnant celebrities including Kim Kartrashian, but JSimp keeps him busy and loaded to deliver the finest frozen desserts in the classiest of outfits.
The Taliban's newest batch of suicide bombers aren't even trying to be discreet any more.
phrnt phrnt
"Allah, give me the suicide shopping cart where the wheels don't stick!"
No comment, but I...uh...I don't even know what to do with that.
Al Qaeda - The Homeless: The next documentary film by Ken Burns.
Hmmm. Seems Tom Cruise is auditioning new wives
Submitted by GlitterKitty on Sat, 07/23/2011 -
Is playing a cunt on the internet as satisfying as wanking into your mum's nightie? Because something tells me you'd know all about that.
Tide Nuclear guarantees you'll get the stains out of your underwear!
As designers refused to dress Kim, Pimp Mama Kris decides to launch her own line of clothing. Kris designed this eye-catching, post-maternity outfit with lots of pockets for Mom to store bottles of milk for baby, bottles of Whiskey for Dad and still have room for all the make-up and other daily accoutrements necessary for a Kardashian lifestyle.
The baby pram is covered because the baby is being whored out like the rest of the family. No-one gets a free shot!
Dave is ready for his next date with Britney. Three bags of cheetos, three bags of chewing gum and a buggy full of legal papers.
As Jay-Z took Blue Ivy for her first stroll through the park, he told paparazzi "beyond the say, I just want her to have a normal life."
Sure it was mean, but Steve felt the need to free the fatties from the clutches of Overeaters Anonymous, so he strode into the meeting with an ice cream cart crammed with treats, and dozens of Nutty Buddys strapped into the satchels on his body. He steadied his gaze, took a deep breath and then detonated himself.
There's Courtney Love's cleaning lady reporting for duty!
How Lady Gaga will be entering the next awards show she attends.
California Closets by United States Postal Service.
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR
The Republican party invested over 7 mill in a crash cart to insure Governor Chris Christie was around for 2016, but still - the front right wheel just kept going left.
Submitted by I am Legend on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:53pm.
"Pimp My Ride" ...homeless edition.\\
NAC: LMFAO. Dead.
Shit just got real: the toxic American diet.
"Pimp My Ride" ...homeless edition.
"Get your red hots, red hots right here ... penis enlargement transplants right her, get your red hots ... "
(Doctors Without Borders just crossed the line.)
Fucking rappers and Nike. They constantly try to make over the top kicks.
"I'm worried that every time I hurt your feelings that you're gonna start drinking again." Peggy Olson, Mad Men
"Sir, you have more than 8 nuclear items, next checkout please!"
The maternity wards runs practice drills in preparation of Kim's delivery of hers and Kanye's litter.
"I'm worried that every time I hurt your feelings that you're gonna start drinking again." Peggy Olson, Mad Men
Oh honey, look. I see that Kimye has a new housecleaning
crew. Oh, wait. That's the Pediatrician."
********************.
"...I'm a greedy, money grubbing
whore and a check is a check, so I'd strap a snorkel on the ol' noggin and muff dive like there was diamonds up in there..."
By: Tigerlilly
The people at NASA's excitement soon turned to anger when shortly after the Mars Rover made first contact and sent this picture back to earth the homeless Martian jacked it up and stole the tires.
The stealth shopping cart took him almost 15 years to perfect, but ultimately, he took Walmart into bankruptcy.