Amber Rose Finally Gave Birth

Amber Rose and Wiz Khalifa's baby was living inside her womb for 9 months, but it felt more like 19 months (aka 9 months in Jessica Simpson gestation time), because for the longest time I'd open up my browser and see pictures of her looking like a circus ball. I can't believe she got through her pregnancy without having to fight an elephant in a tiny hat because he kept trying to pick her ass up with its trunk. But a baby finally came out of Amber Rose's body today and Wiz Khalifa (born name: Cameron Jibril Thomaz), who looks like the tree in Sleepy Hollow or like an air dancer that was hit by a low-flying plane, tweeted the news before a nurse washed the uterus jelly off his kid:

Happy Birthday Sebastian "The Bash" Taylor Thomaz!!! Everyone welcome this perfect young man into the world

The Bash? They either want their kid to be a rapper, a third string wrestler on the indy circuit or a cast member on the reboot of Jersey Shore 2031. But I will give them a few slow claps for paying tribute to Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

And now Amber Rose can go back to starring in commercials for whipped cream flavored vodka. Does this mean that Smirnoff's new flavors will be titty leche and placenta?

via UsWeekly

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by pixxxie on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:58pm.

i feel like she was pregnant longer than jessica simpson was the 1st time around

Submitted by Esteem on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:58pm.

Submitted by Ecce Homo on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:56pm.

Aww Homo! I'm gonna have to stick in the Slut category with Loopy huh? ;-)

I agree however, that's most likely it...

Submitted by Ecce Homo on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:56pm.

Submitted by Daniee on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:17pm.
"...why is a skinny boy in a magazine called XXL?"

Look at his feet and make the correlation...

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"She looks like if you fuck with her she'd put a stiletto through your jugular and then charge you for the shoe repair. My kind of woman." Foxxy Brown

Submitted by Bossy on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:47pm.

Could he be any skinner and bean pole like? And tattoos all over your body is not a look I dig, but I'm not with him so who cares.

Submitted by princesspoppy on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:47pm.

She looks adorable in that pic and he looks like the crypt keeper in the body.

Submitted by elmo533 on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:41pm.

Well, whatever, great.

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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK

Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:35pm.

fine. congratulations.

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God don't like ugly.

Submitted by richardsimmons on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:34pm.

I was at BevMo the other day and I saw the nastiest flavors of vodka....cookie dough, birthday cake, creme brulee, frosted cookie...it was some weird cheap off brand but still, JUST STOP. I did want to try the flavored crap she was schilling though.

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Formerly known as kokoskitten

Submitted by louise_brooks on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:32pm.

I don't really have an opinion on either of them, so congratulations!

I normally hate maternity celeb pictures, but this one is really adorable. It looks like a very genuine moment.

Submitted by thebirdofparadise on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:30pm.

dp Oops

Submitted by thebirdofparadise on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:29pm.

I like the name Sebastian, too. But it makes me think of Alexandra's black cat (Josie and the Pussycats)

And yeah, these people are not worthy of the word "celebrities", but that's what the world is full of now.

Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:27pm.

Every male I know called Sebastian (there aren't many) is gay.

I think the pic above of AR is gorgeous. I don't generally like "official" pregnancy pics that are made public but she looks happy, fit, healthy, pretty and pregnant. Nothing like the fembot she tried to be with Kanye.

Her boyfriend looks like shit though.

Congrats to them.

Oh and cosign for boo on baby's being "born" with nicknames. Nicknames are "earned" by personality, accidents, incidents and physical characteristic, not some bullshit their parents decided on when they popped out o' the womb!
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Dark-sided!

Submitted by Girl about town on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:26pm.

neaux1curr

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Don't start none and the'll be none.

Submitted by LaChaylo on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:26pm.

I like Amber, so congrats. *ducks vodka bottles*

And I like the baby name.

Submitted by misslainey on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:25pm.

Air dancer. God, I love you, MK!

Submitted by Daniee on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:17pm.

Who is this nobody and why is a skinny boy in a magazine called XXL?

Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:17pm.

Who knew she was a Home Improvement fan? Jonathan Taylor Thomas forEVA

Submitted by johnnysgirl on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:14pm.

That "circus ball" picture looks like a knocked-up Juliette Lewis.

Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:14pm.

I always think people who give their newborns nicknames are just straight up assholes. Wait until the kid is like 3 or 4 and let him earn his unfortunate nickname like the rest of us had too.

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"you chickens need to go back to the coup, you need to lay some fucking eggs and do your fucking job, you scrambled ass bitch!"-Shane Dawson

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:13pm.

So...no more pussy shots from this wench?

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Submitted by soapopera4cam on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:08pm.

oh MK, your view of life, i wish i had it

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http://tinyurl.com/69rcrqy

Submitted by anonymouscrazyc... on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:08pm.

Congrats to them!
Poor girl's ass and thighs exploded I would have thought she was having a girl-old wives tales you know.

Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
-Ash

Submitted by valorious on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:05pm.

Hahaha air dancer! I do like the name Sebastian though.

Submitted by CindyBman on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:02pm.

Kinda' random, but... doesn't she dye her hair blonde? I thought pregnant women couldn't dye their hair during pregnancy? I've never had a child so I don't know.

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:01pm.

Congrats Z-Listers! Heres to another 5 minutes...

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Submitted by TexnDoc on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 8:55pm.

He DOES look like an air dancer! Whoever he is.

Submitted by Jess Sayin on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 8:55pm.

congratz Amber and wiz.. seemed like she was pregnant forever

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 8:53pm.

WHY do I even know who this woman is? Why would I give a shit if she was pregnant, or had the baby? What has she ever done to be newsworthy?

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I been looking around awhile
You got something for me
Oh, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key

Submitted by Albatross on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 8:50pm.

Congrats to them both. At least they gave the kid a normal-sounding name, unlike a lot of celebs.

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No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart.

Submitted by veryoldbat on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:05pm.

Love the name Sebastion.. From the first days of Jeremy Irons as Charles Ryder..
And the wonderful Lord Sebastion Flyte From Brideshead Revisted. PBS Gem. YUmmm. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/books/article-1077865/The-CLASSIC-review...
You were talking about babies and vodka? Nevermind...;)

Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR

Submitted by Esteem on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 8:40pm.

Congrats to them. She was going to do a home water birth iirc, hopefully all are healthy.