We Should All Feel Safer Knowing That These Two Dildos Own A Bunch Of Guns

Ever since Celebrity Big Brother, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have been bright shiny A-list stars in the UK (not at all), so of course Channel 5 aired a special about them on Monday night. During the special, Twit and Twat took the cameras into the garage of his parents' beach house in Santa Barbara, CA (where their asses are living for free since they're broker than a Lohan) to show off their collection of guns including an FBI sniper rifle and a rapid engagement precision rifle. Of course, none of those names really mean anything to Heidi since she had her brain lipo'ed out to make her head skinnier. The only thing Heidi knows is that she can use that gun to shoot people! Translation: we're all fucking doomed.

As HuffPo (via IDLYITW) says, Spencer shows the people of Britain that in America we can own guns and he owns a lot to protect himself from stalkers and "crazed fans." WHAT FANS?! These bitches. If Twit and Twat have any fans, then I'm sure those fans have already been declared certifiably insane by the state and are locked up in the padded basement at Briarcliff. I'm sure they're safe.

Twit and Twat share a brain with Brittany from Glee (no offense to Brittany from Glee), because they thought the Mayan Apocalypse was going to happen so they spent all of their money last year. So that should tell you how good they are at making smart decisions.

And does anybody know if TJ Maxx sells bulletproof helmets and bulletproof onesies, because I'm going to need to wear that shit all the time now that I know that these two dick queefs own a bunch of guns.

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by que cochina on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 12:09pm.

Britmachine - unfortunately, whenever a tragedy (in this case, Sandy Hook) occurs, gun sales go through the roof. Two reasons for the sales spikes include: people wanting to protect themselves/family if an unstable individual comes a knockin'. The other reason is, some are afraid they'll be unable to get their gun of choice due to bans. Ammo is in short supply now & states are proposing limits on ammunition sales and possibly requiring insurance. I support people's right to bear arms, but an environment of paranoia is not optimal.

Submitted by vsminimoose on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 12:07pm.

Submitted by britmachine on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:53am.
I have heard so many people say recently that they are so glad to have a gun in their home because if someone broke in, they would be able to shoot them. Uhhhhh.. is it JUST ME?! or is there anyone else out there seeing a problem with this? They're glad they have a gun, so that they can SHOOT and KILL the intruder. First, you're admitting that KILLING the person would be your FIRST INSTINCT, and Second, you're admitting that you would be TOTALLY FINE with KILLING SOMEONE. This really frightens me. And I wouldn't shoot and kill an intruder if I had one. I'd 1:Run and hide or exit house quickly 2:Call the police and 3:NOT kill anybody
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If you want a gun in your home for just-in-cases that's fine but I'm really tired of the pseudo macho bullshit where everyone thinks they're in an action movie and they're the hot new cowboy with a gun. For the mostpart it's a bunch of redneck hillbilly losers who are trying to defend their right to own an AK47 for "safety."

Submitted by mike on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 12:05pm.

Submitted by britmachine on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:53am.

Yeah, I see the problem.

People in general are shit.

Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 12:00pm.

mookie, exactly and lmao @ "Kevlar tits"!

And if they have even one fan, obviously bitch is crazed so they kind of have a point.

ETA *high fives que cochina*

Submitted by que cochina on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:59am.

Sweetas, I was gonna say the same re: fingers on triggers. What's the first thing you learn in gun safety class?

Hekki, I think you're correct - he's an accident waiting to happen. Just hope they injure themselves and not an innocent bystander. Dumb motherfuckers.

Submitted by crazyinjapan on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:58am.

These two are very smart. They are going to need those assault weapons when the zombie apocalypse starts. How else are they going to protect themselves from the flesh-eating walking dead? Everybody should buy these weapons and teach their children how to use them! If everybody has tons of automatic weapons and ammo we will all be safe. Buy as many as you can (before Obama steals all our guns) and then use these for practice:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/ZOMBIE-SHOOTING-TARGET-POSTER-23X35-12-TARGETS-/...

Submitted by britmachine on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:56am.

Oh, and bitch better get some more lipo, cuz I'm seeing a hint of saddle-bag syndrom...

Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:53am.

This is a murder/suicide waiting to happen. He is unhinged and delusional and she just goes along with him because she has no self.

Submitted by britmachine on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:53am.

I have heard so many people say recently that they are so glad to have a gun in their home because if someone broke in, they would be able to shoot them. Uhhhhh.. is it JUST ME?! or is there anyone else out there seeing a problem with this? They're glad they have a gun, so that they can SHOOT and KILL the intruder. First, you're admitting that KILLING the person would be your FIRST INSTINCT, and Second, you're admitting that you would be TOTALLY FINE with KILLING SOMEONE. This really frightens me. And I wouldn't shoot and kill an intruder if I had one. I'd 1:Run and hide or exit house quickly 2:Call the police and 3:NOT kill anybody...

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:53am.

Let them shoot each other. Please.

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And I guess that's why they call it the blues
Time on my hands could be time spent with you

Submitted by mookie on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:52am.

@Sweetas, that's exactly what I was going to say. Trigger control what? They're going to keep taking pics of each other with their fingers on the triggers and accidentally take each other out. I bet Heidi would survive, though - those tits gotta be made of Kevlar, right?

Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:52am.

Honey you'd have to be crazed and MORE to stalk these two!! Oh honey!!

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

Submitted by RichBitch on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:52am.

Twat has psycho eyes in the middle picture *shudder*

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:50am.

I could totally see Spencer doing a murder/suicide or even mass shooting.

Santa Barbara has almost as many home-invasion robberies as Pretoria, so it's smart to be well-armed.

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:50am.

Oh lord. Are these two trying to make themselves happen again? NOOOOOOOO.

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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012

Submitted by Smelly_old_Granny on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:49am.

LOL BINGO.
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Submitted by Aerialgreen on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:41am.

"crazed fans"??? more like repo-men, you pair of sad delusional morons...

Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:48am.

Noticed these 2 were starting to show up in the "news" Please let it not be so.
Didn't know of the D in their heyday so I don't know if Twit and Twat was from then, but LOL
They're cockroaches.

Submitted by parkerj on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:48am.

I've been telling my friends from the UK that I blame them for all the crap reality shows they brought over here. Now I have to apologize for foisting on the UK our Twit and Twat.

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"Bye, Whore" -MK

Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:48am.

They have their finger on the trigger in every pic...let's all hope that's a habit, and they keep them loaded.