We Should All Feel Safer Knowing That These Two Dildos Own A Bunch Of Guns
Ever since Celebrity Big Brother, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have been bright shiny A-list stars in the UK (not at all), so of course Channel 5 aired a special about them on Monday night. During the special, Twit and Twat took the cameras into the garage of his parents' beach house in Santa Barbara, CA (where their asses are living for free since they're broker than a Lohan) to show off their collection of guns including an FBI sniper rifle and a rapid engagement precision rifle. Of course, none of those names really mean anything to Heidi since she had her brain lipo'ed out to make her head skinnier. The only thing Heidi knows is that she can use that gun to shoot people! Translation: we're all fucking doomed.
As HuffPo (via IDLYITW) says, Spencer shows the people of Britain that in America we can own guns and he owns a lot to protect himself from stalkers and "crazed fans." WHAT FANS?! These bitches. If Twit and Twat have any fans, then I'm sure those fans have already been declared certifiably insane by the state and are locked up in the padded basement at Briarcliff. I'm sure they're safe.
Twit and Twat share a brain with Brittany from Glee (no offense to Brittany from Glee), because they thought the Mayan Apocalypse was going to happen so they spent all of their money last year. So that should tell you how good they are at making smart decisions.
And does anybody know if TJ Maxx sells bulletproof helmets and bulletproof onesies, because I'm going to need to wear that shit all the time now that I know that these two dick queefs own a bunch of guns.
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I'm not a fan by ANY means...but Heidi actually doesn't look as bad as when she first showed off all her major surgery changes. She looks a bit like before her major pre-op. Which I guess shows what a waste of money it was.
I am on the fence about having a gun. One one hand, I think protection would be nice. However, one of the posters raised a good question: Would you be able to get to the gun in time?
Also, there are so many possibilities for accidents!
These two morons seems way to slow to be responsible gun owners. I just do not see that. What if one of them accidentally shoots the other? I can see it happening...
These two Teutonic twats! See what happens? If you give them an INCH they take a damn mile! They need to go away again!
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If anyone is going to pee on him it's going to be me.- Nicole Kidman
Don't worry MK, the dlisted army has your back....but get a helmet just in case.
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
Submitted by Hockey fan on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 12:43pm.
I hate these two twats. However i did love the paul and karla bernardo reference. Talk about two sickos. (Our canadian friends here will know all about them.)
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Holy skankbaskets, YES! I knew these two reminded me of someone! The lethal duo of Karla and Paul.
Idiots.
Exhibit:
1. Trying to extend their 15 mins by jumping into the gun lobby fray after the recent tragic events.
2. Finger OFF the damn trigger unless you intend to shoot, asshole.
3. You just told any criminal looking to score a weapon where they can find a few, ON TV.
Idiots.
Check their green card status.
I was actually enjoying the peace and quiet NOT knowing what they were up to.
"Just look at all the fucks I give!"
Courtney Stodden is going to be upset these two bungholes stole her famewhore idea.
"Just look at all the fucks I give!"
*****FINGERS CROSSED!!!!!!*****
MAKE IT SO!
I have to laugh to keep from crying.
Spencer, I'm pretty sure that the British are not that jealous of your right to own these weapons.
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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Like Hekki said earlier : this is a murder/suicide waiting to happen.
Holy Star 80 Batman!
Cricket - hellllllll yeah I'm for it !
"DuFresnes party of two. DuFresnes party of two. Bush party of three.
Yeah but , what happened to the DuFresnes ?!?!?!?!?!?!? "
- Mitch Hedberg 1968 - 2005.
Too bad those guns don't have a hair trigger. It would not be a tragedy for these two twats to blow each other away. It would be the first thing they have ever done on TV that would be worth watching.
She looks totally brain-dead in the photos & he has a crazy "imma shoot you!" look on his face. Thank god those two haven't jumped on the pregnancy bandwagon. I don't care enough to look this up, but I thought they got divorced...
As others have stated - dumb dumbs have their fingers on the triggers in the photos. I'm not a gun owner, but it's my understanding that you don't point a gun toward anyone and you don't put your finger on the trigger unless you intend to shoot.
UGH its these two nimrods as well as the other hardcore NRA dipshits that give responsible gun users and enthusiasts a bad name. I would never prance around tv showing off my guns...that makes you more vulnerable actually and defeats the purpose of having guns for defense IMO.
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"Not a second goes by when one isn't cock-a-doodle-doodling up my asshole. That sounded sexy, but it isn't." - Michael K.
Conspiracy! These two have totally been hired (for a warm meal) from some antiweapons group to make the typical braindead gun enthusiassclown look bad.
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Do you want a banana?
No i don't wanna
Well there goes my hopes of signing up for the show. (:
Darknight - IDK.
This time thought they're going to have celebrities. *eyeroll*
M.E. OMG LOL goood watchin'!
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
I might get my head shoot off BUT I kind of admire the fact he realized he wasn't going anywhere and went back to University to get a degree in Political Science. HW gave up on them but they could have kept at it and become even more pathetic than they were at the time. As well the two dingbats are still married in spite of the fact they lived for attention which they we no longer getting, you'd think that would have driven them apart.
They are overseas so we don't have to see them that often so..I don't know, I don't hate them as much as I did. Now if they get back on the ho stroll full time I'll get stabby with the rest of ya.
Dildos provide pleasure and are usually visually appealing. Please don't insult them this way, MK.
These turds will do anything for a headline. Hope they think the other is a "burglar" one dark night.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
As a true American I'd like to kick spencer pratt in the balls.
M.E., I remember that show. I liked it but why did they cancel it in the first place?
SNOWPHAT!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to say this is relevant considering how much plastic surgery Montawhatever here has had....
"The Swan" is returning to our TV's!
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute... They keep the guns locked up in his mother's garage? How is that going to save them if they get robbed? Even if they live in the garage (which I'm sure they do) how are they going to get to the guns in time?
Why am I trying to make sense of anything these idiots do. I dismiss myself, thank you.
crazyinjapan LMAO
the only redeeming factor about these two is the Pratt's first name!
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
The only thing good about this video is seeing Spencer Ballsack has put on the chunk. I predict 300LBS by mid 30s
Submitted by MinxInSpace on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 12:14pm.
I imagine this footage will be re-aired and re-examined by the savvy media after Spencer shoots Heidi one night because one of her titty balls pops and he thinks it's an intruder.
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Oh yes, please! I really like this scenario. Please let it happen, pretty please!
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:53am.
This is a murder/suicide waiting to happen.
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You know, Hekki, if you are right, these minus fives will finally get the attention they crave! The only downside for them is that they won't be alive to cash in!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
These two haven't spawned yet, right? So humanity is safe for a bit? I can't laugh at the crazed fans comment. Any fan of theirs would be batshit crazy, so I can see their need for assault rifles.
I'm confused. Is this current?
Keep your booger hook off the bang switch.
Submitted by agirl on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 12:41pm.
oh fuck.. oopsies - Sorry agirl.
tink tink omg!! that's hilarious.
I hate these two twats. However i did love the paul and karla bernardo reference. Talk about two sickos. (Our canadian friends here will know all about them.)
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 12:38pm.
@agirl no disrespect but if you are offended then that's your thing. I don't appreciate being told what I can and cannot post here. Thank you.
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LOLOLOL did you think I was serious? Look at the last line of what I wrote.
@agirl no disrespect but if you are offended then that's your thing. I don't appreciate being told what I can and cannot post here. Thank you.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:46am.
maybe Twit and Twat will think the other one is an intruder and open fire on each other. It DOES happen - just ask stumpy from South Africa
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Please do not call Oscar Pistorius "stumpy". He is a world-class athlete and his disability has nothing to do with the crime is is accused of. That word is disrespectful to amputees.
Please refer to him "Tink Tink" instead. Thank you!
Could these two be any more transparent about wanting to make a career with pushing people's buttons?
I am all for facial hair, but this guy's transparent beard is giving me the heebie jeebies.
Oh yeah, they are idiots and idiots with guns is a very bad idea.
Where's a hair trigger when you need one?
Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:48am.
They have their finger on the trigger in every pic
God. Don't you want to just smack them upside the head. I truly believe in the 2nd ammendment but people like these 2 retards sure give people who don't ammunition (pardon the awful pun)
@britmachine, you are someone who does know yourself and know what you feel comfortable with and what you would do if someone was invading your home. I respect that. There are people that would not do that and would defend themselves, family and home and we to know ourselves. I don't think it makes a either or situation, just a difference in how people would handle a serious situation. Maybe if we lived in a different part of the country, I'd feel differently (probably not) but where I live, home invasions and murders happen on a regular basis---in the bad and good areas. and it usually does not have a happy outcome for the victims.
I would probably aim for the shoulder but if I missed and hit something more likely to kill, I would feel bad for a NY minute. It does not make me a macho woman. I am not typically that way. But I do know I would defend myself.
Submitted by britmachine on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:53am.
I'd 1:Run and hide or exit house quickly 2:Call the police and 3:NOT kill anybody...
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Are you gay? You sound gay.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
these two morons are so stupid...someone should tell them that the end of the barrel should be pointed towards each other before putting their fingers on the trigger...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Well, I should be displeased by the idea, but honestly anything that increases the chances that these nitwits will accidentally shoot themselves or each other is fine with me.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Spencer Pratt is the white version of Chris Brown.
Mental rejects. You never have your finger on the trigger unless you are about to PULL THE TRIGGER. Fucking Jenkum smokers.
I imagine this footage will be re-aired and re-examined by the savvy media after Spencer shoots Heidi one night because one of her titty balls pops and he thinks it's an intruder. Excuse me, "crazed fan".
And wasn't Spencer the one who was always bragging about how rich he was?
Submitted by Aerialgreen on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:41am.
"crazed fans"??? more like repo-men, you pair of sad delusional morons...
I can't stop laughing at this.
Oh good, that means these two will mostly shoot themselves in the head one day.
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What separates us from animals is that we don't use our tongues to clean our own genitals.