Afternoon Crumbs

February 20, 2013 / Posted by:

A check is a check: Lance Bass, SuBo, Tiffany, Wynonna Judd, The Village People and other glittery stars of the A-list universe sing about opening their mouths for a white creamy load. This is the closest any of us will get to seeing SuBo in a sex tape so take it and fap to it while you can get it – Towleroad

But for why did Entertainment Tonight make Prince Michael Jackson look like a 30-something motivational speaker? – Lainey Gossip 

The German rose Micaela Schaefer is still putting her shredder to good use – Hollywood Tuna 

Either Lisa Marie Presley left the Church of Tommy Girl or she used to be in the KGB (yes, I’ve been watching The Americans) – Celebitchy

Hey, you filing papers over there, you want to take my daughter for a date for $500? But whatever you do, don’t feed her a Frapp after midnight.” – Daddy Spears to David  – The Superficial 

Miley Cyrus did something really shocking on Instagram. Happy Sarcasm Day! – Drunken Stepfather

FYI: British dudes do not want to hump on Kristen Stewart (and I’m sure RPattz voted for her too) – The Berry 

Even though Colin Farrell looks like bruised, beaten and busted Skillrex, I still would – ICYDK

The new Real Housewife of Orange County looks like a low-budget Denise Richards wax figure with Tish Cyrus’ dentures shoved into its mouth – Reality Tea

It’s nice to see that one of Janet Jackson’s tour costumes from the 90s made its way onto Selena Gomez’s body – Popoholic

“Creatives differences” is a publicist’s way of saying that even Alec Baldwin couldn’t take Shia LaDouche’s drunk asshole ways – Just Jared

Thanks, Post Office, but I’ll keep my money in my wallet until UPS starts selling their brown coochie cutters – Jezebel

Squinty Zellweger is starring in staged photo-ops on the beach now – Popsugar

The alley way of doom between Bethenny Frankel’s chichis tells me that she has the same plastic surgeon as Tori SpellingCelebslam

The word “nigga” will continue to make an appearance on Lisa Lampanelli’s tongue – Crunk + Disorderly

The people of Harlem on the Harlem Shake – Videogum

Pimp Mama Kris just pulled Kim’s leash tighter, because her prized pig ain’t going anywhere – I’m Not Obsessed

RiRi is spending her 25th birthday the same way she spends every day – Cityrag

Michelle Williams is growing her hair out, which is why she looks like an Emo guinea pig right now – SOW

White Oprah, is that you? – The Frisky 

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