Oscar Pistorius Tells His Side Of The Story And It Doesn’t Make Any Sense

February 19, 2013 / Posted by:

Not that shooting your girlfriend for any reason makes sense, but you know. Oscar Pistorius was in court today to be officially charged with premeditated murder and during the hearing his lawyer read a statement written by him. It turns out the burglar story that the media was throwing around is the story that Oscar is going with.

Oscar says that the night before the murder, he and his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp spent the night at his house. She did yoga, he watched TV and afterward they went to sleep together. Oscar said in his statement that he knows everybody gets robbed in his neighborhood and he has gotten several death threats before, so he keeps a 9mm pistol under his bed.  In the early morning on February 14th, Oscar woke up to close the balcony door when he heard a noise in the bathroom. Now a normal person who thinks normally would just assume that their piece was taking a middle of the night piss. But Oscar, who wasn’t wearing his legs at the same, got scared, grabbed his gun from under the bed and went to the bathroom.

Oscar claims he didn’t turn the lights on, but he did shout at the person in the bathroom. When he didn’t hear anything back, he shot through the bathroom door several times. Oscar went back to the bed and realized that Reeva was in it. So he put on his legs, beat the locked bathroom door open with a cricket bat, called the paramedics and then carried her down the stairs. Oscar says that she died in his arms.

Oscar says he now knows that Reeva went to use the bathroom when he went to close the balcony door. He claims he’s innocent and that he never meant to kill Reeva, because he was in love with her and shit.

The prosecutors were not moved and they told the court that Oscar meant to kill Reeva. Bail was denied and Oscar will stay in a cell.

Most of that shit makes no sense and if Oscar claimed that aliens with guns from District 9 killed her, I’d believe that story before I’d believe the story he told in court. Reeva really didn’t shout back when he shouted at her through the bathroom door? And when he went to get the gun from under his bed, he didn’t notice that she wasn’t in it anymore? Is Jodi Arias on his defense team, because that story is a full-on fairytale.

All the times that I got up in the middle of the night to take a 2am piss, the piece in my bed would either stay sleeping or tell me to piss quieter. I guess I should feel lucky that he never shot my ass.

Click here to read Oscar’s full statement if that’s what you need today.

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