The Photoshop Awards: Sarah Jessica Parker On Harper's Bazaar China
Harper's Bazaar China must've decided that looking human is so out for March and it's all about looking like a dragon alien who covered itself in wax and the manes of a dozen horses. The headline already gives away who this is, but if I told you this was a feline pony alien from Pandora who has come to earth to make us humans its slaves, you'd probably just shrug and welcome our new feline pony alien overlords. This seriously looks like something straight out of the mind of James Cameron. Harper's Bazaar China used and broke every damn copy of Photoshop they had. If I stare at it long enough, it doesn't even look like a picture of Sarah Jessica Parker taken with an actual camera. It looks like a caricature portrait of a Thundercat sketched by one of those sidewalk artists.
I don't know what's going to haunt my nightmares more: the way her Photoshopped face is looking at us like "I will stick your soul in a feed bag and nibble on it slowly" or her claw. The hell did they to her pinky? Harper's Bazaar China hates human and they really hate pinkies.
via PsDisasters
• 
A horse is a horse, of course, of course. Except when that horse is a dragon alien!
PS- here is one of the rejected shots from the shoot: http://images.pictureshunt.com/pics/a/anteater-7602.jpg
HaHAhahaha...She looks like an alien, I think they slanted
her eyes more and made her nose longer.
It's the Pony express....
HaHAhahaha...She looks like an alien, I think they slanted
her eyes more and made her nose longer.
It's the Pony express....
infamous! Where's your pants, girl?!
Ive seen her in person and she is really tiny
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
OMG! I've never considered her attractive nor a fashion icon. Here she looks like a dragon with man hands.
Just horrible!!
She was cute in LA Story (1991) and she's always had beautiful blue eyes imho. She has been on the horrible thin side now for years and if she'd just put a few pounds on, I think she wouldn't look so severe. She always had a good body though on her and I thought she always looked good in her bra and panties on SATC.
Is her waist really that small?
That FAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!
WHAT.
THE.
FUCK
????
Love,
Mabel
JEEBUS!!!! >holdme<
She looks like a man in drag! :-/ and Ive seen men in drag that looked much prettier!
Well, I'll bet the neighbors are just LOVIN' this!--Mama.
Hi Ophelia's Evil Twin -
yes yes! exactly - that is EXACTLY what I'm tryin to say! Good face/Bad face - Good light/bad light
I thought she was cute in SATC but not ALL the time...
"I'm with the Get Right Crew -- Cleveland Chapter -- and don't ever mistake me for Captain Save-A-Ho"
jesus h. christ, I don't know WHAT that is, much less who. that might well be the worst Photoshopping I've ever seen. fucking Stevie Wonder could do a better job...
Effin' creepy. SJP isn't even pretty to begin with (yeah, SO original. I know.) but why did they have to Photoshop even MORE alien horse race into her? Jeez...
She's Chinese! The hair looks animated! Wow what a weird picture. I like the composition, the dress, the background...but her face/eyes...chilling, really.
Threat from China in CG has been overstated. They suck! Cannot compete. Sarah probably had no say in this. It's their way or highway.
Why are they trying to make her look Chinese? *LOL*
Whew! The photoshop folks went into overtime!
______________________________________________________________
"I swear, sometimes good dick is a thing of evil. It blurs your vision and screws with your brain.- MK, 01/17/13
Hahahaha I knew the comments would be great! And the reason she let this cover go out is, just like Falcor, SJP is so in love with herself she thinks she looks great here. But it's definitely Ruth Buzzi. Nothing wrong with looking like that if you didn't constantly shove your mug at us in fashion magazines and ads for beauty. And ditto on the Carrie character, I hated that her and couldn't stand the show.
I never, ever got this woman as an example of glamour and this just goes to show ya.
------------------------------------------------
"Screw you, I'm Kevin Bacon!"
Photoshop DISASTER! This is so heinous it hurts my eyes to look at it. Her real face is actually unique and pretty, wrinkles and all. What's so wrong with looking like an imperfect human person anyway?
----------------------------
I swear, sometimes good dick is a thing of evil. - Michael K 1/16/13
egad. Succubus Jessica Parker.
Really bad! Maybe she pissed someone off at the magazine?
Submitted by tinyhands on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 9:00am.
Ruth Buzzi ahahahaha! I can't believe she called in. He's brutal and he shouldn't talk he ain't exactly GQ cover material.
What's this goodface/badface theory? Is it anything like Jerry's two face girlfriend on the Festivus episode?
Oh wow. Why put someone on the cover if you are just going to make them look like a (bad) painting?
It's absolutely criminal these magazines can do this. Young girls are always in WHSmiths eyeing up the magazines and wondering why they don't look so magical. She's so photoshopped she's cgi. We all know she's plain, so if she's not good enough for the cover, don't use her! I'd find that a huge insult.
Ske is an alien horse now
Mrs. Ed
I have absolutely no idea how her hubby does her.
He must let out a scream when he wakes up in the morning next to her.
Gives me shivers
ha! I just remembered something about SJP and I just had to share.
This is waaaay back in the day when Howard Stern was on 'regular' radio not pay radio. Anyhow - he's talking about this and that and SJP's name comes up - and he says 'ech, I don't see what the big deal is about her. Good body, that's about it...I think she looks like a cracked out RUTH BUZZI'
I was like OH Hell No he did NOT just say that
and then a few minutes later - she calls! (SJP that is) and he takes the call on the air! She was nice but she said "Really? Ruth Buzzi? Really? You guys are so mean!" It was awkward, needless to say.
She was a good sport about it. But who the hell wants to be called Ruth Buzzi?
SJP has that 'good face/bad face' thing going on.
*whips condom wrapper out of bathrobe pocket* --"WE need to talk..." Richie during the out of control summer of 2005
I totally agree with the "good face/bad face" comment. Good face at the link http://www.thecinemasource.com/moviesdb/images/Sarah_Jessica_Parker-2-Se...
"I'm worried that every time I hurt your feelings that you're gonna start drinking again." Peggy Olson, Mad Men
whoa nellie!
if this is the best picture of the bunch, one can only imagine how unfortunate looking all the other photos must look like...
_____________________________________________
"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
MAN OH MAN does the length of her head ever make her look equine. I wonder if they had to wave a handful of hay in front of her to keep her from moving around while they took the picture?
I dunno, this looks like her to me. It doesn't seem that far from her normal fug.
Dragon alien who came out of that guy's chest!
*clutches blankie*
Oh wow. I actually feel bad for her. I know she's an easy target but she was cute on SATC. I would be mortified if I had a pic like this splashed on the cover of a mag for the world to gawk at. Who looked at this pic and approved it for the cover??? Did she make someone over there angry?
First I wondered who she pissed off, but then I looked up other photos of her and compared them side by side. I've concluded that "full face" is SJP's "bad side" and this photo wasn't photoshopped too much, it's a bad photo that wasn't 'shopped enough. Except for her skin and eyes being too light (and too much hair), this is how she really looks.
This is what I wake up to? That is some scary ass shit. Not even human looking
Makes you wonder what the un-photoshopped pic looks like. Probably turns you into a pillar of salt.
The sign above the door should read : The Psychic is in
..and this is with the help of some photoshop wizards? Yikes. I never understood the hype of her having the pulse on fashion and such. Nose and chin are very witchey-poo and she has tales of the crypt boney man hands.
Oh and I absolutely hate the hhombre hair. It looks like you're too cheap to have your hair and roots did.
Year of the Dragon Face.
-.-
The internet, where the men are real men,
the women are real men, and the children are the FBI.
maybe she can get that repulsive, hairy witch wart put back on her chin ... at least that offered a distraction from her full frontal equine fugliness!
I saw her hailing a cab in NYC, hair pulled back in a bun, super thin, almost scrawny, with a prominent witch-like chin, I was amazed at what extensions and makeup could do for her, because in real life she is negligible if not outright homely. Yet in SATC and other vehicles, she comes across as at least attractive, though quirky-looking, due to the marvels of illusion.
Oh dear lord. I just feel sorry for her, and am completely confused as to why they would make her face look like this, and then actually publish this cover. Are people going to see this on the newsstands and actually buy it? The talent and resources they have available are enormous, and this is what gets put out. There's no excuse for it.
Look!! I love anyone that was part of Hocus Pocus but Imma just say...makeup can only do so much. Photoshop can do so much. But when MK calls you out on your ridiculousness ....Give it up ho and disappeahh!!!
WEIRD!
Sarah was visiting RuPaul for some clothing advice & somehow mistook the dragulator for...
Guess she or the photoshoppers are following the trend of super ugly models. In an ad I saw yesterday for H & M there was a literal mouth breather. This girl looked like she couldn't close her mouth over her big beaver teeth even if she'd wanted to. Do not like this trend. Too skinny and now butt ugly. Not even unconventionally interesting/pretty. Just fugly. Weird.
Good lord. Came to the D cuz I have insomnia. Bad choice.
China ruins everything!
Here they take pictures of the 2nd most glamorous American HORSE(Julia Roberts is the most glamorous)
and they photoshop her into some lizard face that is going to shoot out it's tongue 10 feet to catch a fly!
Get a clue China....SJP is a horse!