Night Crumbs
Nothing makes your genitals weep like a picture of Scott Baio looking like an old Alfalfa covered in penis foam – SOW
Jeremy Renner and his roommate might be cooing at a baby girl named Ava today – Lainey Gossip
Scroll down to picture #6 and tell me what that is on Emma Stone’s body – The Berry
Ashley Jizzdale’s look is very teenage runaway turned rest stop hooker – Hollywood Tuna
Something in the milk is a photo-op when Julia Roberts is smiling instead of barking at the paparazzi – Celebitchy
The Gossip sings out Michael Lohan and White Oprah’s anti-anthem – Towleroad
Brazilian butts for your President’s Day (and sadly none of those Brazilian butts belong to Rodrigo Santoro) – The Superficial
Shawn Johnson is ripped and built like a Chelsea pocket hottie power bottom – Drunken Stepfather
If my abuelita’s favorite black veil and her favorite visor mated, their baby would look like the thing that’s on Anne Hathaway’s head – ICYDK
If Mumford’s sons are white, famous and rich, then I’ll believe this – IDLYITW
Sara Jean Underwood is as subtle as always – Popoholic
Mimi’s song for that Oz movie makes me want to drop a house on my ears – OMG Blog
Even getting ran over by a four wheeler couldn’t keep Lena Dunham from the Writers Guild Awards – Just Jared
Note to famous or semi-famous addicts: don’t go on Celebrity Rehab – Jezebel
Thankfully for Baby KimYe, Kim Kartrashian wants three nannies so it never has to see its mother’s face – Celebslam
The baby-making Gremlin is just asking to get smacked down by the Tupac hologram – Crunk + Disorderly
Justin Timberlake is obviously popping his eyeballs, because Jessica Biel surprised him with an impromptu anus poking – Popsugar
Chelsea Handler went to Charlize Theron’s son’s first birthday party, so I assuming that there’s at least 5 bottles of Grey Goose in her bag – I’m Not Obsessed
Velveeta, an industrial-strength bra and matches to burn all of her UGGs better be on that list – Cityrag
And I’m surprised that not one of them slapped him for putting the words of a Bieber in their ears – Hollywood Rag
PROGRAMMING NOTE: The CAPTION THIS Contest took the day off and spent its President’s Day doing what you did (getting drunk and watching porn). It’ll be back tomorrow!